My Story

As I have said before, we are very lucky to have the neighbors we do. One neighbor was planned and one was a very pleasant surprise. At one of their wonderful son's birthday party the other night, I wanted to make sure that I specifically thanked our neighbors mother for some advice she gave me the day before Colin was born at a gathering we both attended. As a trained Doula, it was only natural that we started talking about childbirth and labour, considering the fact that I was due the next day as was her own daughter in only a few weeks. She gave me some amazing advice regarding getting through the contractions and I have shared it with every pregnant friend I have had since. Her advice helped me focus, gave Jason a task that I still appreciate him taking on, and made the whole experience that much better and easier. Now I am sure you understand why I felt it necessary to thank her! After I explained how grateful I was to her, and to the fact that I met her, only hours before giving birth, she of course asked me about my labour and how the whole thing went. After telling her she told me that if there is one thing you will never forget, it is your story...the story of how to gave birth and all the details along the way. She herself has given birth to 5 children and remembers each story clearly. She also mentioned that some advice she always gives to the father is to never argue with the way the woman and mother remember it. Even if over the years the details getting muddy, just go along with it. How they remember it each time it is told is how it happened.

Knowing that I am extremely forgetful and also knowing how often Jason and I disagree about details, I thought I better use this outlet to tell the story of the day we met Colin.

Over the course of the month of August, we were extremely busy. I traveled to Halifax for a friends wedding, volunteered a week at a basketball tournament and spent every single day driving around picking up supplies for the house. Jason was working 16 hour days trying to complete as much as possible before the baby and before summer ended and we were also preparing to move again, from the apartment we had rented all year. There were many days over the course of the month that I felt that I might go into labor, however, never did. On my due date, September 1st, I had never felt less pregnant. We had moved into the house a few days prior and spent the day unpacking and visiting with friends who had come to see the house so far. Around 5:30 pm I felt a cramp, very low in my stomach but it didn't last very long and wasn't overly intense so I didn't even mention it to Jason. About 10 minutes later, I felt the same thing, this time slightly more intense and for a slightly longer period of time. Around this time, Larissa pulled up our driveway, ready to come and make dinner for us, something we had planned a few days prior. When she drove up, Jason was outside installing the car seat in the truck and mentioned to her that he thought I might be in labor. I still wasn't convinced. I always expected my contractions to be much more spread out and had envisioned having a shower and maybe even straightening my hair before leaving for the hospital. Once Larissa came inside, I decided to start timing and tracking the length and frequency of the contractions. About an hour and 2 taco's later, I was convinced...this was it. My contractions were about 5 minutes apart and they were getting intense enough that I couldn't talk through them. It was time to go.

At this point, it was starting to rain outside and was about 7:00 pm. Larissa stayed at the house to clean up supper and agreed to take Jake to my parents. I called my Mom when we left to tell her the plan as well. Once we got onto Henderson, Jason asked me if I wanted him to drive fast and at that point, I still didn't think there was any rush. By the time we got to the perimeter, I quickly changed my mind and told him to step on it. Each contraction was getting more intense and I was finding less and less of a break in between. While going over Disraeli bridge there was a billboard that really annoyed me but because I was in the middle of a contraction, couldn't express my dislike for it to Jason at the time. :)

Once we got to the hospital and parked, we waited until one contraction subsided before attempting to walk into the hospital. We checked in at triage and after painfully going through the paperwork and admittance we finally got seen by a nurse. My contractions at this point were every 2-3 minutes and were not relapsing. It was basically one constant contraction with a 45 second period of extra intensity every couple minutes. After checking me and determining that I was 7 cm dilated, the nurse decided to get us right into a room for delivery. We walked (shuffled) down the hall into our private room which we were so lucky to get and met our nurse. About 2 minutes after getting into the room, my water broke all over some fresh socks that Jason had just put on my feet. About 10 minutes after my water broke, I felt the need to push and the nurse had me lie down so she could check me again. It was time, I was 10 cm and she went to get the doctor. After he came in and introduced himself, he explained that he would be back when it was time to deliver and the nurse told me that I could try to push during my next contraction. Jason was so great the whole time. Really relaxed and encouraging - just what I needed. After one big push, the babies head half emerged and since the doctor had left only seconds earlier, the nurse ran to retrieve him once again. At this point, there were quite a few people in the room between us, a few nurses and the doctor. I knew at that point that this baby was coming very soon and wanted to push more, however had to wait for everything to get set up as well as wait for a doctor who needed a specific stool and to answer a couple calls on his cell phone first :). Not pushing when your body wants nothing more than to push with all its might was and still is the toughest thing I have ever had to do in my life. After what felt like hours but was only a minute or two in actuality, everybody was ready and it was time to get the baby out. I gave it 2 big pushes, in which I almost feel like I lost slight consciousness. I remember asking the nurse if I should push again to which she replied "LOOK DOWN!". There he was. It was a boy and he was perfect. I think I was just so focused and so blinded by the pain that I didn't even realize that I had already done it, that it was over and that he was here.

He was placed on my chest and at that moment our lives changed forever. Everything I thought was important in the past took an instant back seat. Life would never be the same. Love would never be the same. Sleep would never be the same.

I can honestly say that the 4 or so hours it took to birth our baby boy, were some of the most powerful hours of my life. In my OBGYN's office there was a poster promoting some sort of pre-natal classes which read "Your body is amazing. Believe in its power, trust in its strength." I read and re-read this saying countless times over the course of the many, many appointments I had during of my pregnancy. As time went on and I got closer to the inevitable and unavoidable pain I knew was coming my way, I really absorbed and began to take comfort in those words. And when the time came and the pain started, they did not fail me. I have never felt so powerful, so full of life and so strong as a woman than I did that night. It was by far my biggest accomplishment to date. My story will be with me always. It was my finest hours and I am so hopeful that I will be able to do it again. Pain and discomfort aside, I wouldn't trade the experience for anything.

That is my story.

Operation Hat

As someone who tans very easily and rarely if ever burns even without sunscreen, I have been having some trouble getting used to being in charge of a fair skinned child. Over the past 4 years I have gotten used to dating and being married to a fair skinned man, however, most of the time, he takes care of his sun care himself. The little man however, is all mine to ensure that his baby skin stays baby smooth and healthy. Now that summer is here and the sun has finally started to show on a somewhat consistent basis, I have put into place "Operation Hat".

I have never been a hat wearer for a number of reasons. One, I do not look good in hats. Two, I have an abnormally large head which rarely, if ever, fits women's hats (thanks, Wedlake's!). Three, because of point number 2, I often end up buying hats that are two small, and then end up with a headache. Because of all of these reasons, bringing a hat is just not programmed into my brain. Having a child with the skin he has (inherited from his father, I might add!) means that some major reprogramming is now necessary. For the past couple weeks I thought I just might be able to remember a hat but after numerous trips halfway down the driveway or to the neighbors deck without one, I quickly realized that our hat-transition is not going to be as seamless as I once thought. So here is my plan...we now have and leave a hat in the following places: the stroller, the diaper bag and by the front door. Hopefully this should cover us and I should never be without a hat for him again. This weekend was day one and two of this effort and so far, so good.

Here is the stroller hat in action...

Jason, along with some amazing family members who came in especially to help, started to tackle siding the back of our house this weekend as it was too beautiful to be inside. Sunday afternoon, before our surprise helper arrived, Jason and I tackled getting the last few trim pieces up and ensured that everything was straight and ready to go for the actual siding. Since it was so nice out and our backyard at this point (which faces East) has absolutely no shade, Jason threw together a temporary little area for Colin to sit and play while we worked. He seemed pretty happy in there with his cheerios, toys and puppy (another shade lover) to keep him company. (That is the diaper bag hat in action)...



Here is a shot of the siding very early into the project. They ended up getting about half way up but with the majority of the tedious trim and detail work complete, the rest should go up much quicker.


All in all it was a great weekend of family time, work time and even a dog park visit and walk. Combine that with beautiful weather and the summer inching closer I couldn't ask for better. Operation hat is in full swing over here now, just in time for expected temperatures in the mid 20's all week. About 5 minutes into it this weekend I realized that our second operation was in need of a immediate launch as well..."Operation keep the hat on your head". More on that soon, I'm sure!

Happy Sunning and Hatting!

Friend-iversary

When my parents came over for dinner on Sunday, they brought along a few boxes of my stuff from their basement. In them there was a lot of my old school work, my Brownie hat, all my Brownie badges as well as a bunch of picture books from high school and early university. Looking at all the pictures made me think 2 things. One, I am so lucky to have had and still have such great friends and two, we thought we were really funny posing ridiculously for many shots.

Two of my oldest friends (in length of time we have been friends, not in their age!), are actually a married couple. This summer will mark 15 years since we first officially became what I would call "good friends". We knew each other for a few years prior, however it wasn't until a summer camp experience at the Peace Gardens where we truly realized that we were a match. I would argue that there are not many people who can claim that they have been friends with a couple since they were 13 years old. This, of course, is because most "couples" at 13, are not "couples" at 28. This is just one of the things that make Barrett and Larissa so special. They started "dating" in grade 8, continued dating through junior high, high school, and university and then finally sealed the deal and got married in our early 20's. Fast forward through 7 years of happy marriage and they are now proud parents to a perfect little boy. Like I said before, Larissa and I had known each other briefly before that summer, 15 years ago, but that is really the first time I met and got to know Barrett. We came together mostly because our sisters were friends and also because my Dad and Larissa's Dad knew each other from basketball in university.

One of the first memories I have of the two of them is how much we laughed. Right from the start we just got along. Because we didn't go to the same junior high, I didn't see them a lot during those years, however in grade 10, joined them at the same high school. The high school I chose was not where the majority of my junior high went, therefore I was fairly alone in my choice. I remember my first day, sitting in my teacher advisers classroom, nervous and unsure as I really didn't know many people. A few minutes later I saw Barrett and Larissa standing at the door of my classroom, coming to see me and see how my first day was going. Instantly the nerves went away and I knew that the next few years were going to be fun and I was going to be just fine.

I figure in this picture we are maybe 17 or 18. I have a vague recollection of being at a Christmas party maybe?


Larissa and I had the opportunity to play on many sports teams together over our time together in high school. There were many championships and happy moments, and as there always are, some not so fun moments but nevertheless I think it's safe to say that we both have very fond memories of those days. There were many road trips, mornings spent on the mats after track and even a provincial championship or two.

Here we are winning the KCAC Basketball championship. Makes me feel old that they don't even call our conference KCAC anymore...also, please excuse my adolescent acne :).


Since high school, our friendship hasn't really changed much which I love. Even though our lives have taken us through our education, jobs, marriage and ultimately now parenthood, we are still able to simply enjoy each others company, talk about the trials and tribulations of life and bounce design, cooking, fashion and now more than anything else, baby ideas off each other.

If Barrett and I are together, it is sometimes difficult for others to get a word in. Yes, we both talk. A lot. We have never had any trouble finding something to talk about. It has been that way for 15 years and I really don't see it ever changing. The topics have evolved over time, however the ease has remained the same. We have always been able to laugh through everything, even some pretty tough moments.

Here we are at one of our joint birthday parties (our birthdays are about 2 weeks apart). I think we are maybe turning 20 and 21...one of the shots where we clearly thought we were hilarious).


One of the reasons that I knew that Jason was the guy for me, was how well he got along with the two of them. From day one it just felt like Jason had been a part of the group from day 1, something that had never felt right with any other guy I dated. Not only does he fit in with the group, but he and Barrett have also become friends on their own, something I always hoped for when I met the man I would share my life with.

Being friends for 15 years means that there are a lot of memories. Too many to remember, in fact. Bottom line is this...if Colin has friends like Barrett and Larissa through his teenage and early adult years, I will never have to worry for a second. Friends like them are good influences, always have your back and are not afraid to let you know when they think you are making a detrimental decision. They are there in the good and there in the bad and through both become like family. If there is one thing I can say with absolute certainty is that the past 15 years would not have been close to as fun without them. High school, university, working at Earl's, trips to the states, countless (well, I guess we COULD count...It's 15) birthdays, failed relationships (just on my end!), marriage, joining the working world, new puppies and now the biggest challenge of all, babies have made the last 15 years fly by. Looking through the past years in pictures, brought it all back and reminded me how lucky I am to have had friends like them to share every minute with.

What the next 15, 30, 50 years hold for us I'm not entirely sure but there is no doubt in my mind that we won't be friends through it all. I see many vacations, many trips to the lake, countless hours spent watching our kids playing and hopefully growing their own friendships, too many home projects and renovations, and lots of dinners and parties to celebrate it all. I cannot imagine what life would have been like up to this point without them and am so lucky that I don't have to think about what life from now on would be like without them.

Life is just better with good friends and the past 15 years are no exception.

We heart swinging.

Yesterday, Colin, Grandma and I spent some time, for the first time ever, swinging at the park. It was a hit from the start. The park we were at backs on to my parents house, and is a place that I have spent many, many hours over the course of my life. As you can see, we loved it...



In my lifetime, my parents have always lived in the same house. Lately, there has been some talk of my parents potentially moving and downsizing to either a smaller house or a condo. I couldn't be happier for them as I know that they would like less to clean, less to mow and ultimately that as they travel more and more, the big house sits empty more and more, which doesn't make a lot of sense. I could go on and on about the house I grew up in, however for now, will just talk about the park. I am convinced that there is not a kid anywhere who wouldn't love living where I did throughout my childhood. Without a fence, our backyard space became about 10 acres worth of grass, soccer fields and the most importantly, play structures. There were no roads to cross to get there, it was always open, and we made sure we made good use of it. The park today looks a lot different than it did 20 years ago, and we hear that soon it will undergo a transformation once again. It is so neat to see Colin, and his cousins, enjoying the park that all of us did as children as well. My nephews first question every time he comes to my parents house is always "Grandpa, can we go to the park?" I am sure that soon that will be Colin's first thought as well.

I completely get why my parents would consider selling the house and couldn't be happier for them as I know it is ultimately the right decision for them at the stage of the life they are in. Plus, the idea of them having something new, or a new project to embark on excites me as well. That being said, a part of me will be sad to see the house and the park go. I am sure that even if they don't live there anymore, we will still visit it often, swinging our hearts out and if Grandpa is there, naming all the people we know while we do it.

8 Months

Dear Little Man,

Today, you turn 8 months old. This past month has been very busy for you and I, however we have somehow still found lots of time to play, walk and nap our way into the first few days of warm weather and a hint of summer. Last night and today we got hit with some more snow, putting our dreams of summer on hold for a little while, however I'm sure it won't last long and soon enough it will be warm again. It has been so nice to get outside with you and not to have to worry about snow suits, toques and wind. We have taken more walks this month than we have in total your whole life and it has made both of us happier I think.

This month, you got your first 2 teeth...the bottom two. Not that you were having any real trouble sleeping before getting them, however as soon as they poked through your sleeping really hit its stride. You can completely see your teeth now as they have completely come through and have started to grow a little more each day. I wonder which ones will be next and am glad that the entire process didn't seem to effect you all that much. If this is teething for us, we are going to be just fine.

You are pretty close to crawling which really makes me realize how fast the past 8 months have gone. You get up on all fours and then proceed to push yourself backwards until getting stopped by a wall or piece of furniture. It will be any day now, I'm sure.

The other day while looking through our pictures, I came across our first family shot.

The first thing I thought of after seeing this picture was "wow, I had no idea what I was doing". I remember your Grandma saying the same thing when the nurse handed your Uncle Jeffrey to her. It is amazing how far we have come and how much both of us have learned. That day that you were first laid in my arms seems so long ago as so much has happened and you have changed so much over the past 8 months. You have gone from a helpless, shriveled up, old man looking newborn to an independent, hilarious, strong (I prefer this term to fat...) little boy in what was really a fairly short period of time. Our uninterrupted year together is 2/3's done now and that makes me more than a little sad. Realizing this has reminded me to really cherish the next 4 months as before we know it, it will be September and our days together won't be as consistent. I am so glad that it will be summer and that we will have lots of time together as a family.

This month you were dedicated at our church. Having all our friends and family there, praying for you, loving on you and simply celebrating who you are was a wonderful way to spend a Sunday. You are truly lucky to have so many people who are committed and excited to share your life with you and also so lucky to have so many other boys so close to your age within that group. There will never be a shortage of other kids to play with around here and you will never have to look far for a street hockey game, fort building partner, or a bike ride or two. As your Dad and I stood up in front of the church and made the promises we did, it was mentioned that you are a gift from God to us. As much as your Auntie Kari and I sometimes laugh about how often that phrase is proclaimed upon a new birth :), I started to think about its true meaning. God chose you for us. He knew exactly what He was doing and it was no accident that you ended up as part of our family. Someday I will tell you about the baby who we never got to meet, and how tough that was on your Dad and I. The only thing that makes that pain easier is knowing that you came from that. If we had not gone through what we did, you would not be here and I don't even want to know what life would be like without you. For one reason or another, that baby was not meant to be and although it is sometimes hard to understand at the time, meeting you and getting to know you over the last 8 months makes my faith in God and His plan that much stronger. He chose you for us. We will forever be grateful for the gift and hope that as a thank you, we can raise you to to love Him, and to be a man for others.

Since new babies are all around us these days, the topic of sleep has been frequently discussed. You have always been and continue to be a very independent sleeper. Except for when you were very young, I could never put you to sleep in my arms and that is no different today. Because of this, I have never really been able to watch you sleep as you are always in your room with the door closed. After talking so much about this, I decided a a few weeks ago that I wanted to watch you sleep, just once, just to see what it was like. So, after I knew you were really asleep, I snuck into your room, sat on the floor, and watched. There you were, sleeping so soundly, on your stomach as your always flip to, hands under your face, breathing so calmly. I couldn't help but start to cry. I wish I could pause that moment and that you would stay so small and so innocent. I will never forget those few minutes and will go back to them every time I feel like you are growing up too fast. No matter how old you get, when you become a kid, teenager and ultimately a man, I will always have those minutes in my heart as a time where you were my baby. My first baby. The first one who stole my heart, who taught me more about patience and slowing down than I ever thought I could learn or accept and the one who made life just the way it should be...full of smiles and love and family.

Love you to the moon and back x8.

Love,

Mama
xoxo