A few days ago you turned 9 months old. This past month has been a bit of a challenge as you have been quite sensitive and needy. You got 6 new teeth and I can only imagine that they were the source of some of your tears, however they did not seem to interrupt your sleep at all which makes me think that maybe you were milking it a little while awake :). You are still the best sleeper I could have ever asked for. You have completely dropped your third nap and now have a solid 2 or 2.5 hour nap in the morning and in the afternoon. 13 hours of nighttime sleep rounds you off. It still constantly amazes me how much sleep you need/want. You can be at your ultimate crankiness, but as soon as your head hits your bed, you silence, cuddle your baby and instantly love life again. You really are a sleeping dream.
A few days ago I started looking through pictures of your brother at your same current age. I can't help but think that he looks so much more like a little boy than a baby, where you my friend, still very much look like a baby to me. Your brother was substantially bigger than you at this age, however he was also very close to crawling. You are most definitely no where near any kind of movement and actually cry every time I place you on your stomach. Not your thing. Perhaps you will never crawl and will simply start pulling up and in time, walk, however at this point, you don't seem to be going anywhere. You have started to refuse to sit, and lock your legs so that whomever is holding you has to continue to do so, or simply hold you standing as you play. It's really, really annoying. The other day, I spent a good half an hour getting you and your brother dressed to go outside for a walk, which was in itself exhausting and frustrating. Once we finally got outside and I attempted to sit you in the wagon, you instantly locked your legs and refused. There was absolutely no way I was not going for the walk as intended after the amount of time it took me to get us all ready, therefore I simply lied you down, much to your protest and started our walk. You hated it and you hated me, but walk, we did. Your locked legs weren't going to stop me.
This month, we said goodbye to breastfeeding for good and hello! to formula and a sippy transition cup (your final choice after rejecting a fortunes worth of other bottles and cups). As soon as we were done, I felt the chains come off and my freedom come back to me. You also perked up and have come to terms with the reality of your life, as far as liquid feedings go. I would almost go as far as to say that you like it. While giving you your milk the other day, I had a rather sad realization. For the past 9 months, I feel like I have simply carted you around and spent our days waiting for you to wake up, rather that actually enjoy your company and your little personality and joy. I feel very guilty that I have let the last 9 months pass by and haven't taken very many opportunities to enjoy you and bask in your love for me. You have started to become quite attached to me and although frustrating at times, I think I need to redirect that frustration and feel just how blessed I am to have a tiny person who wants nothing more than to just BE WITH ME. I need to start to enjoy my time with you more and promise to try and take opportunities to take you places alone just me with so that we can have our own time and I can focus my attention directly on you.
When I think about the past 9 months, I have so many amazing memories. You truly are an amazing baby and have gifted us with sleep and smiles and fun. Mixed in with those ups have been some long nights, even longer days, and difficulties along the way. I read a quote the other day that I think can sum up parenthood more perfectly in words that I could ever. It says...
"Nobody said it would be easy. They said it would be worth it."
Easy is definitely not a word I would use to describe being a parent. Having a baby is most definitely not easy, nor is having a toddler and kid. All the stages that I have experienced as a mother thus far are no where near anything remotely close to easy. You and your brother have challenged me and pushed me to change and adapt more than I ever imagined I would need to do. I have sacrificed my body, my time and things that I thought I wanted, however that ALL being said, it has all been worth it. You are both well worth it all and I can say with complete confidence that at the end of it all, when you are grown and gone, I will totally agree that although difficult, every minute was worth it all.
You, my sweet girl, are lovely. Your blue eyes shine and everywhere we go people constantly stop to love on you and gush. You have a way of attracting attention more than your brother ever did or can. You are the life of every room you enter and command attention. I am so excited to see where the next month takes us and how much you will grow and change throughout each and every day.
Love you to forever and always x9.
Love,
Mama
xoxo
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