Longer than I care to admit ago, you turned 3 years old. I am not sure why it took me so long to write this letter to you. In some ways, it's hard to find the words to describe how much we love you, but in others I could write page after page about all the funny, sweet, caring, crazy, and sometimes frustrating things you do and say on a daily basis. Through it all, at the end of each and EVERY day, you are still, by far, my bestest boy. You stole my heart the moment you were born and to this day you have yet to give it back. You make me laugh every single day and make life that much sweeter than I ever thought it could be.
I have said this before, but you were a troubled baby. You cried and cried and cried and you basically hated life for about the first 4 months. You were hard and I felt like a failure. My only job at that time was to make you happy and considering the fact that you were never happy for more than a minute or two, I felt that I was not doing my job very well. You challenged me to slow down, to relax and to go with the flow - 3 things I made a point of never doing in the past. It was tough but we made it through. I am a better Mom because you pushed me so hard in those first few months and I owe much of your sister's ease to you.
Contrary to your general attitude as a baby, as a kid you are pretty much as easy at it comes. You are polite and kind and loving and you for the most part, follow the rules without too many issues. You do not push limits and you are a fun boy to be around. You share so well with other kids and I never worry about your behaviour in public. You are an easy kid to parent.
Over the past year we have watched you grow into a boy. There is nothing baby about you anymore. You vocabulary has exploded and every day you say a word that I had no idea you knew. Not that we didn't know your personality from the moment you were born, but this past year, it was truly solidified. If there is one thing that has been proven time and time again, it is that you cannot be rushed into anything. You do everything your way, and in your own time. The only saving grace of this equation is that you are also a huge copier of other kids. Watching another kid do something first is pretty much the only way to get you to try it as well, unless we want to wait about 8 months for you to warm to it on your own. That all being said, once you do something once, you are good to go for life. You do not need convincing more than once, however the first try is agonizingly difficult. For you and for me. Years ago, your Auntie Heather and I made the joke that we were torturing your cousin Cole with fun as he was not a fan of the splash pad. If that was the case with him, we have definitely tortured you with fun with splash pads, bouncy castles, bikes, boat rides and water guns. Yes, this trait in you can sometimes be very frustrating. At the end of the day though, I always remind myself that you will come to everything in time and just like your cousin did, you will face any challenge head on without a hesitation. All I can do in the mean time is encourage you to step outside your comfort zone, assure you that trying new things is good and fun and be there to celebrate with you and comfort depending on how the first try goes.
When I watch your three year birthday interview and then, immediately after watch the one we recorded when you turned two, it amazes me how much you have grown. Every new stage that we have entered with you has always been my new favorite and the one at present is no exception. Your endless energy amazes me and your love of life and everything in it reminds me just how special it is to be able to watch you through it all.
It has been three years (and a month and a half, due to the tardiness of this letter) since you came into our lives and I still look at you with amazement that you are my kid. I do not feel worthy of the responsibility that was entrusted in us when God made us your parents. You are so much like your father that it continually amazes me. I know that it is frustrating for him to watch you have the same frustrations and issues he had as a kid, but I know that this is just part of what makes you YOU. You are very much your own person, with your own quirks and traits that will both help and challenge you along the way. When you were a baby, we were in charge of pretty much doing one thing - keeping you alive. I guess we can say, 3 years later, that we were successful in that. Nowadays, yes, we still most definitely are in charge of still keeping you alive but our responsibility as parents goes much deeper than that. I feel like we are truly entering the stage where you will be formed as a person and that is not something I take lightly. I want nothing more than for you to be a strong, kind, caring, friendly person and know that every time I force you to say please, thank you and sorry, I am helping mould you into all of those things. I owe so much of me to my parents and hope that one day you will say the same. I promise that I will always do my best to help you, to challenge you and to support you and even though I am sure there will be times where I will drive you crazy, I hope that you will know deep down, that everything I do is for you and your sister. You are our worlds and you are our everythings and there is nothing that we wouldn't do for either of you.
I am not naive enough to think that there won't be a day that will come where you will not want to hug me as tight (or at all), kiss me goodnight, or bargain for more cuddling time before bed. For those reasons and about a million more, I know that I will look back on this three year old version of yourself and miss your innocence, your hilarity and above all your LOVE. I know that time will change, you will grow and you will need me less and less. That being said though, the LOVE, the love will never change. It is constant, it is the rock that remains through it all and no matter how big you get, how far away you are, or how far away you wish I was, it will remain forever and always.
When I ask you lately how much you love me, your answer is always "10, Mommy". In fact you love Daddy "10" too, but you only love Addy "1, because she is little". I will hold on to this answer for as long as I live as it makes my heart ache and keeps my soul full. You love for us is what makes all the craziness bearable, the ups of life so much sweeter and the downs that much easier to overcome. Just as you did as a baby, you continue to push me to be better, to be more patient and to truly enjoy what life has to offer. I owe you so much. You owe me a few hundred hours of lost sleep. Call it even?
Love you to the moon and back,
Happy Birthday x3, bub,
Mama
xoxo
Posts
