A few weeks ago, you turned two years old. You'll have to forgive me for the lateness of this letter, but you see, we have been a touch preoccupied around here lately. I'll explain more about that later.
Over the past year, you have truly transformed. My sweet girl, you started the year off pretty much still a baby in the majority of ways. You couldn't walk, you couldn't talk and for the most part you simply went the flow, without too much to say about anything. As long as you were well rested, you maintained your "angel baby" status. Fast forward 12 months and you are now a full blown toddler. You are everywhere in a flash, you yack it up all day long and you have very definite likes and dislikes.
I can honestly say that after 24ish months of knowing you and being your Mom, I still haven't quite figured you out. You are truly my wild card. I have no idea how you will react in most situations and you are constantly keeping us guessing. There have been (many) times where you have freaked out over nothing and (a few) times where you have been perfect in stressful, overwhelming situations. If there is one thing I do know, and has been solidified in my mind, is that your reaction, attitude and demeanour is decided on by you and only you. You are not easily swayed and once your mind is made up you cannot be convinced otherwise. You are strong, and I love that about you. I know without a doubt that no one will ever push you around and that I very highly doubt that you will be the victim of a bully. You are simply too strong willed, too opinionated and too tough to let any of that get to you.
Now comes my promise to you- I promise that I will help channel that strength and those opinions so that you use them for good. Strength can sometimes veer off into bossiness or a low tolerance for others and even though you are still extremely sweet and good, I promise that if you do turn the other way, I will help bring you back.
Your strength is one of my favourite parts of you. It is also one of the most challenging parts of being your Mom. Your brother, although a tough baby has pretty well been a textbook "easy" child. He enjoys rules, predictability and is an overall simple kid to be around. You, my girl, are anything but simple. If nothing else, you have solidified my theory that the tougher the baby, the easier the child. When Colin was your age, he would instantly cry whenever I would discipline him as he simply couldn't handle me being upset with him. You couldn't care less when I'm mad at you - in fact, sometimes I think you enjoy it and have been known to laugh in my face while I am dealing with you - as you can imagine, that's super fun for me. You want your opinions to be heard louder than anyone else's and struggle with sharing the spotlight or adjusting to others. We are working on this. I have a feeling it will be a major theme of the next year or two (or 15).
There have been a few days lately that have ended in a big teary mess around here and ultimately you are simply placed in bed to work out your own issues. On days like this, about half an hour after you go to bed, I like to go back in your room, sit in the chair with you and enjoy your now calmness and sweetness. You touch my face and talk me through the day - some of which I understand and some of which I don't but I love it all. It is our time to become friends again.
Just like from the day you were born, you love to sleep. This has translated into a love for your bed in general. I couldn't love this trait in you more. You seemingly crave time in your bed. You sleep until awoken, almost every morning and every nap you ever take. Even more, if you do wake up, you lay in your bed, fingers through the holes in your crocheted blanket, not making a sound, until someone comes to get you. I can honestly say that you have not had an issue with a nap or night time sleep since you were about 4 months old - not one. I realize that this is unbelievable and chalk up my luck to the 9 months of no sleep your brother blessed me with. Plus, dealing with you over the past year while awake kind of balances things out :).
Even though you are tough, you are also one of the most polite two year olds I have ever met. In fact, these days I probably remind Colin to say his "pleases" and "thank-you's" more than I do for you. Ever since you could talk, you needed very little if any reminder. It is truly your saving grace at times when I am close to the edge :).
Like I said earlier, we have been a little preoccupied around here. I have been working for the past year and a bit, travelling for work, taking some university courses, and most importantly carrying your new brother or sister who will join our circus in a few short weeks. Just like in most situations, I truly have no idea how you will react to this whole new baby thing. When you were born your brother didn't even seem to notice. I don't expect to have that same sort of reaction from you, but the details of how you will deal with the new baby are a big question mark for me. I know that ultimately you will be an amazing sibling and will be an advocate for them whenever they need it (and also when they don't I'm sure). My Mom and I were talking the other day about the dynamics of our family changing with this new arrival and she commented that I will have to ensure that you don't get lost in the shuffle once the new baby comes. She suggested that you and I still get quality time just the two of us as it will not come as naturally as my time alone with the new baby. I thought about this suggestion afterwards and can totally see how you could get lost without a real effort on my part. Your brother will always get alone time with your Dad and I as he is the oldest and therefore is ready for certain things earlier than you will be. The baby, at least for awhile, will get lots of alone time with me as that just comes with the territory of new babies. Regardless of whether or not this new baby is a girl or boy, I promise that I will carve out time just for the two of us - from now until forever. For now, I love the moments we have together where you make me laugh with your excitement and your stories. For later, I have a feeling that you and I are going to challenge each other, but in the same breath like a lot of the same things and therefore have a lot of fun together. For even later, I can see us being great, great friends. Laughing, loving and supporting each other as I age and you, my sweet girl, grow to be the mountain mover I am convinced you will be. For you see, God does not put that much strength in those who will waste it. It has been placed in you for good reason and I know that you will capitalize on this trait you have been blessed with.
Not that it has ever really sunken in with your brother either, but I am constantly bewildered by the fact that you are ours. It does not always seem real that we would have been blessed with two amazing children and the fact that we are getting one more is almost too good to be true. You are at the stage where basically all I do is direct you, correct you, and discipline you. The fact that you still love me, still choose me, still get excited to see me when I am gone, amazes me. You are such a special part of this family and that will never change. Over the past two years you have challenged us all, made us all laugh countless and countless times over and tried my patience more than I thought it could ever survive. Through it all, you have made me a better Mom, a better person and ultimately given me one more amazing reason to look forward to the rest of my life. To see you grow up, experience the aura that is you and be able to have a front row seat to it all makes me feel like the luckiest person in the world. The show you will put on, my sweet girl, I am convinced will be a blockbuster.
As per tradition around here, here is your 2nd birthday interview. It is a hodgepodge, that is for sure, but it perfectly sums you up today.
Love to you, my girl, my light, my joy. Happiest x2 and for forever.
Love,
Mama
xoxo
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