A few days ago, you turned 3 months old. As always, the months have flown by like they always do, partly due to our busy schedules but also partly due to your laissez faire attitude and demeanour that I appreciate so very, very much. Last month, I commented that you often struggled with your daytime naps and I am happy to report that today, a little over 3 months later things are starting to regulate. We still have our challenges, but for the most part the days are smooth and painless. Regardless of the challenges we face while the sun is up, your nighttime sleeps continues to be as good as any Mom of a 3 month old could ever expect - I owe you for that one. Lately, you love the bath more than anything and have started to really light up for those who you know best. Your siblings (well really just Addy) are still learning how to be gentle with you and how to give you space when you need it. Thank you for being so patient with them and for taking the knocks like a champ. Definitely makes my life easier as they learn.
I feel bad even saying this, but sometimes I forget you're even here. You are that calm. The other day I was helping your brother and sister with a craft at the kitchen table while you played on your play mat. While we were working away I started to hear something - a kind of rustling. For the life of me, I could not figure out what it was. I wondered if there was a bird in the garage, or maybe the water softener was acting up as it sometimes does. Finally, I realized what the noise was...it was YOU. I had completely forgotten that you were even there, a mere 6 feet away from where I was sitting.
I was telling my Mom, your Grandma, the other day that I sometimes have to remind myself that you are a real person. I am so busy with your siblings and a million other things that I get caught up in simply attending to your immediate needs rather than soaking you in and getting to know you. I feed you, or change you and then am off to the next dozen things on my current plate. I need to get better at this and enjoy you more on a daily basis as you are definitely worth enjoying and the moments, even if they are few, that I have with you give me the energy to tackle the day and fall more in love with this little life of ours.
So here, 3 months in, are my dreams for you. I hope you are a doer. I hope you see possibility everywhere you look and I hope that you believe, above all, that you are capable and important. I hope you always know that I would do anything for you. Growing up, I have vivid memories of my Mom sacrificing her own needs for me and my siblings. From something as small as eating the one burnt piece of chicken at dinner, missing university exams to take me to get stitches, spending each and every weekend in a gym, my Mom made and makes it clear, time and time again that we were and are some of the most important things in her life. That is what I want you to feel about me. I never want you do doubt, even for a second that you matter, that you are loved and you that your needs are my highest priority. I promise that I will always do my best to be the Mom you need me to be, even when what you really need me to be isn't all that popular. I promise that I will always do my best to be the Mom you need me to be, even when you need me at 3 o'clock in the morning. I promise that I will always do my best to be the Mom you need me to be, even when I am angry at you or you are angry at me or we are both just angry at each other. Bottom line is this - I will always do my best for you - always.
So, my smallest human, here at 3 months in we are doing pretty well. I couldn't ask for a better baby. You have made us complete and I absolutely and completely I adore you. That's all you need to know.
Here's to you at 3 months new.
Love x3,
Mama
xoxo
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