A few days ago, you turned 4 months old. On that same day, I turned 32 years old. It's hard for me to imagine you, at 32, considering the fact that we are still getting to know you and determine what makes you tick. From what I do know about you, I think you will rock 32 like nobody else. Whatever you life brings you at that age, I just hope that I am still around to see it.
This past month, you have defined the saying "find your groove". You, my lady baby, kicked month 3's ass. Whatever grooves we needed to find were zeroed in on and mastered, one by one. I have said it before and I will say it again, you are an easy baby. You rarely, if ever make a noise, and if you do, it's only because I have pushed you, yet again, past your very generous limits. You have grabbed daytime sleep by the horns and told it where to go. You sleep in the car, you sleep in the stroller, you sleep in your bed, you sleep in someones arms...you adapt to each and every day without a wimper, without a complaint. I totally and completely owe my sanity to you. You see, your brother and sister have a tendency to drive me crazy with fighting, crying, never ending negotiating - pretty much the regular 2 and 4 year old crap. If you joined in on their circus I think it would send me over the edge. By you, my sweet, sweet girl do nothing but ground me. You ask for so little and give SO MUCH to me each and every day. Your eyes light up for me and in an instant I can feel myself calm down and regroup. You are my saving grace as a Mom.
Last week I had you in the Bumbo on top of the kitchen island while I worked in the kitchen. Your brother and sister were playing away. In a, I have three kids and have never had a problem cocky moment, I left the room. In that instant, your sister climbed onto the play table and pulled you down. You hit your head on the corner of the play table and again on the ground. I heard both hits and then your sister crying. I will never forget the way your body looked, facedown on the ground. You never made a sound, never shed a tear, which terrified me even more. I felt so helpless. I had no idea what to do so naturally, I screamed at your sister and sent her to her room. Obviously the logical thing to do. I held you and cried. Tears of fear and tears of guilt streamed down my face but ultimately you were fine. A bump on the head and a few pukes were really the only marks left. On my heart however, a mark will last forever. I should never have left you up there and walked away. I was cocky and careless and I'm sorry. I know you will never remember what happened, but I will never forget. It knocked me back to reality of how fragile a baby is, how rough and unaware a 2 year old can be and how carefully I need to protect you. I am so grateful that this incident was what reminded me of these things rather than something more serious. My job is to keep you healthy and safe and I'm so sorry that I slipped up. Thank you for again, taking it easy on me, brushing yourself off and carrying on like nothing happened. Chalk another one up to you.
Your Dad asked me the other day what I was like as a baby. And to be honest (Mom, please correct me if I am wrong), I think I was a lot like you. Pretty calm, pretty much a go with the flow kind of kid. I think these are pretty common traits of a third child as life does not stop when they come into the mix. Older siblings have commitments and the busyness of life just kind of carries on while they grow. After he asked me this, I started to wonder if that means you might be like me as a child, teenager and adult. If you agree with what you read about birth order, I fit the youngest child description to a tee. The fact that our family is identical to the one I grew up with (boy, girl, girl), I can't wait to see how things pan out for us. I can't seem to buy a kid to look anything like me, so I wouldn't mind if I could get in on the personality side of things. By the way, I am well aware that I may regret saying and wishing this. Only time will tell.
Again, and again, and again, I just can't get enough of you. I don't know if it's because you are my last, or just because you are you, but I really feel connected to you. You have taken to your play gym lately and love reaching up and batting the toys. I could watch you do this for hours as it is amazing to me to watch you learn and develop - all in such a short 4 months. I love watching how gently you reach for them and how you squeal with delight when they rattle. I can't wait for whatever is next. If your Dad and I ever made a right decision, it was in deciding to have a third child. I honestly cannot imagine our family without you, can't imagine me without you. You have completed us and completed me in so many ways. You are so loved.
Here's to you at 4 months new.
Love x4,
Mama
xoxo
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