Dear Colin,
A couple of weeks ago, you turned 5 years old. It's hard to believe that it has been five whole years since you came (so quickly!) into the world. Although I don't remember all the details of the last five years, I know that you have filled them with some of my best and favourite memories of all my 32 years here.
This past year was a gooder. You have truly transformed into a wonderful child, a super fun boy and a just a great all around kid. This year will be the year that goes down in the timeline of your life as the year you started school, the year you jumped off a 10 foot cliff into the lake, the year you started telling jokes (only some make sense), the year you rode a two wheeler, the year you fell in love with hockey, the year you really became you.
You don't really surprise me very often anymore. I feel like I pretty much have you down pat. You are naturally predictable. You love routine and order and are happiest when everyone just follows the rules. You are also sensitive and struggle being kind to your sister from time to time (but we're working on that). You love to learn - about anything and everything anybody will teach you. You are fascinated by how things work and have a naturally inquisitive mind. You have very quickly figured out that many of your questions are better asked to your Dad as this is not a trait that you and I share but you and your Dad ,you are made for each other.
Somewhere along the way this past year you learned that it's ok to take a risk or two in life and step outside your own comfort zone. This did not always come easily to you. You needed a LOT of prep before any changes or new things and even then did not always deal with them very well. This past year though, something shifted. All of a sudden you realized that you can have a lot more fun if you just let it ride. And boy did you ever. There were multiple times this past year where you Dad and I looked at each other in disbelief over what we just experienced. Case in point was this summer at Tulabi Falls. One night we watched some teenagers jumping off the same cliff that I used to with my friends each and every summer. You surely and confidentially announced that when we came back the next day, you were jumping. I said ok, but I can't really say that I believed you. But sure enough, the next day when we came back to swim at the beach you repeated your statement. At this point, I thought you might be serious but again felt like when we got up there your tune would change. So you and I marched up the hill and found ourselves at the top of the smallest cliff. You were not hesitating for a second. At this moment all the "could happens" started running through my brain and I started to hesitate as to whether or not this was a good idea. But we had come too far - I couldn't back down now. So, together, hand in hand, we walked to the edge, counted to three and jumped. Not once did you stutter. I still can't really believe that you did it. So easily and so calmly without any convincing. Let's all keep in mind that you were the three year old crying in the pool at swimming lessons any time you had to float on your back (among other reasons) and on this day, you jumped off a freaking cliff. Your Dad and I were so proud of you for how brave and willing you were but also because it meant you were just growing up. Because Buck, all this work we are doing as parents, all the sweat and tears is all for you. There is nothing we want more than to see you grow, to mature and to become the game changing boy and man we know is inside of you. It's our job to bring him out and when you jumped off that cliff I felt like we got just a touch closer. Summer of Colin it was, and I am so grateful that I got to watch from the front row.
This past year, and I'm not proud to admit this, I found myself from time to time trying to sway you in other directions, trying to suggest different things to you, in a way, trying to change you. You see my sweet boy, I doubt you will ever have any major academic struggles when it comes to you and school. You love to learn. You are calm and determined and smart. The other side of school though, the social and friends side, scares the crap out of me. There is nothing I want more than for that part of life for you to come easily. I think for awhile I convinced myself that my suggestions would make it easier for you to make friends. Maybe if you liked what all the other boys liked, if you played what all the other boys played with, if you watched what all the other boys watch your friendships would come smoothly and easily. What I learned however was this: first of all, you needed no help making friends. Even if what you liked, played with, talked about or watched was not the same as some of the other boys, that didn't matter. They loved you and you loved them. It took you no time to find your groove, you got right in there with the kids in your class and bonded. Secondly though, and much more important, I realized that instead of trying to change you, I should be trying to be more like you. You, my sweet boy like everyone you meet. You give everyone an equal shot. You do not judge, discriminate or hold grudges. You apologize instantly when you have wronged and forgive when others have wronged you. You are what a true friend is made up of and I should be fostering that in you instead of worrying if we are up to date up on the latest trend. Now don't get me wrong, I still hope and pray that you make amazing friends easily and that you find a few that you'll go the distance. I have been so blessed to have found multiple life long friends and I can tell you from experience that they make all the difference in my life. They are what makes life a bit easier when things get tough and a even more amazing when things are great. But that being said, I definitely don't worry as much any more. You are a sweet, wonderful, caring, compassionate, fun boy and that is too good a combination to go unnoticed.
You have no idea how proud you make me. Just walking beside you makes me beam. You are my kid and I wear that like a badge of honour. You are going to do amazing things. I never knew if I was going to get the chance to be a Mom. It was something that I wanted, but more than that, that my heart needed. You were the first one to give me that gift, to fill my heart up beyond measure, to change me so deeply and fundamentally for the better. You broke me in as a Mom and continue to pave the way for your sisters so smoothly and so straighly.
This video/interview of you is a mess but I will treasure it always. It is a snapshot in time of YOU and that means it's perfect. Someday long from now, I pray that I have the chance to watch these videos of you on your birthday and that they will transport me back in time to today. And I will remember and all the hugs, all the "i love you's", all the Paw Patrol, all the "7-zero-zero" wakeups, all the "keep your hands to yourself" reminders, all the firsts and all the amazingness.
Bucky, happy happy happy happy happy to you. You are my forever and my always. My first and my bestest boy.
Love you to the moon and back x5,
Mama
xoxo
Friday, October 2, 2015
Wednesday, July 29, 2015
One.
Dear Aubrey,
I am more than a little late on this, but a few weeks ago you turned one year old. It's summer around here and we have been enjoying time as a family, getting house projects checked off the list, and trips to the lake. But right now, I want to make sure I take some time to document you - today, at one.
Once again, blah, blah, blah, you are such an amazing baby. I really feel like I have said this SO many times since you were born that it has lost a bit of its real meaning. You continue to amaze me as on pretty much a daily basis you allow the craziness that is this household to go on around you and with you and you just role with it. Our schedule is sometimes a little nuts and you come along and put up with it. When your brother was your age I very rarely had him miss a nap. This was partially due to the fact that I only had one child and really didn't have many reasons to have you miss it, but also because I just wasn't prepared to do it. With you, we simply don't have that luxury. Life did not stop when you were born, but rather seemed to kick into high gear. As a result your schedule has had to be fluid and you have managed it with grace and ease.
At this point in your brother and sisters lives I pretty much had them pegged. Although their personalities have moulded over the years, at one I knew what I was getting. You, my littlest one, are still very much a question mark. There are obviously things I know, but how they all play together to create YOU in the long run, is still a bit of a mystery. So far I can say for sure that you are patient and you are easy going. You also have a lot to say and I am so looking forward to your sounds to form words so I can finally understand your long winded stories.
But come on, you can't be all perfect, can you? No ma'am, you can't and you aren't. You have your moments and your tantrums, but they are few and far between. What sets you off you ask? Let me tell you as it won't take long. A-D-D-Y. You and your sister have a very interesting relationship. She really does love you and desperately wants you around her all day long. She is the first person to run to you when you come out of your room in the morning and the last person in your room before bed at night. So yes, she loves you, but she also has trouble respecting your, umm, personal space. She is way too close to you ALL THE TIME. And you do not like it. I don't blame you, but you really need to relax a bit. At the end of the day she just wants to be with you and you just want to anywhere else. In the past few weeks you have started to crawl (although I use that term loosely as it is really more of a heave/drag technique) and things have mellowed a bit - basically now that you can escape her. Obviously she follows you around for awhile but inevitably the three year old in her gets bored/distracted/sees-an-opportunity-to-annoy-her-brother-instead and you are set free. How your relationship with your sister progresses and changes over time will be so interesting for me to watch. I know how my own relationship with my sister ebbed and flowed over our teenage and early adulthood years, however ultimately ended up and continues to be one of the most important and significant relationships of my adulthood. I don't know where I would be without her and I rely on her support and advice so much. Whatever happens between you and your sister along the way, as I think I would be kidding myself to think there would be no friction at times (I mean, come on, we're talking about Addy here :)) I hope that you two remain in each others lives. It's really a gift to have a sister and I hope you two stick it out together.
Whether or not to have one more child really was one of the easiest decisions of my life. Obviously it was for your Dad too as it was never something I had to convince him of either. The fact that we got you out of the deal is almost too good to be true. I love the three of you equally, but there is something special about you. I think it is because I am so aware of how quickly kids grow up and for that reason I really soak you in on a daily basis. I make a point of sitting with you while you drink your milk when at all possible. And when you're done I turn you around and sit you on my lap and we chat and play until I can hear my services being needed elsewhere (ie. breaking up a fight between your siblings). And because I know how quickly time goes I am not trying to rush it. Instead, I just enjoy you, for the day it is, at the stage you are at. And, my littlest one, the stage you are at is worth enjoying. You love so sweetly and so calmly that it makes me fall more and more in love with you each and every day. Going into this past year, I really didn't know what to expect and wondered if I would make it out alive. Not only am I still breathing, my heart is more full than I ever imagined it could be. The three of you make what your Dad and I do on a daily basis more joyful, more rewarding, more than we ever thought we would ever be blessed with. The addition of you to the life I call our Clarence Road Project has completed our family foundation. Where we go and how we grow together is what's next and I could not feel luckier to be part of the crew. You, my littlest one were the final piece and you have spent the last year proving why we needed you and why we fell in love with you from the moment we saw you. You are my last and my littlest and I will hold that in my heart from now to eternity. You have been so kind and so understanding of me, over this past year - I owe so much of my sanity to you. In return, I can always promise - you will always be my baby and you will always be loved. No matter what this next year throws at us, or the next 40 after that - those are my guarantees. You make it so easy to love you, to want to be around you. I will soak that in for every minute that it is my reality. You are going to do magical things - I am sure of it. Important things and meaningful things with your life. Thank you for being you and for being my baby. Thank you for making me a better mama, for making me slow down and enjoy and for teaching me how to work through the balancing act that is three kids. Going into year two, I promise to keep looking for moments the two of us can share, away from the madness. Where we can talk, re group and connect - just us. It's time that I cherish and as long as you'll let me, I plan on sneaking it in whenever I can.
Here's to you at one year new.
Love,
Mama
xoxo
I am more than a little late on this, but a few weeks ago you turned one year old. It's summer around here and we have been enjoying time as a family, getting house projects checked off the list, and trips to the lake. But right now, I want to make sure I take some time to document you - today, at one.
Once again, blah, blah, blah, you are such an amazing baby. I really feel like I have said this SO many times since you were born that it has lost a bit of its real meaning. You continue to amaze me as on pretty much a daily basis you allow the craziness that is this household to go on around you and with you and you just role with it. Our schedule is sometimes a little nuts and you come along and put up with it. When your brother was your age I very rarely had him miss a nap. This was partially due to the fact that I only had one child and really didn't have many reasons to have you miss it, but also because I just wasn't prepared to do it. With you, we simply don't have that luxury. Life did not stop when you were born, but rather seemed to kick into high gear. As a result your schedule has had to be fluid and you have managed it with grace and ease.
At this point in your brother and sisters lives I pretty much had them pegged. Although their personalities have moulded over the years, at one I knew what I was getting. You, my littlest one, are still very much a question mark. There are obviously things I know, but how they all play together to create YOU in the long run, is still a bit of a mystery. So far I can say for sure that you are patient and you are easy going. You also have a lot to say and I am so looking forward to your sounds to form words so I can finally understand your long winded stories.
But come on, you can't be all perfect, can you? No ma'am, you can't and you aren't. You have your moments and your tantrums, but they are few and far between. What sets you off you ask? Let me tell you as it won't take long. A-D-D-Y. You and your sister have a very interesting relationship. She really does love you and desperately wants you around her all day long. She is the first person to run to you when you come out of your room in the morning and the last person in your room before bed at night. So yes, she loves you, but she also has trouble respecting your, umm, personal space. She is way too close to you ALL THE TIME. And you do not like it. I don't blame you, but you really need to relax a bit. At the end of the day she just wants to be with you and you just want to anywhere else. In the past few weeks you have started to crawl (although I use that term loosely as it is really more of a heave/drag technique) and things have mellowed a bit - basically now that you can escape her. Obviously she follows you around for awhile but inevitably the three year old in her gets bored/distracted/sees-an-opportunity-to-annoy-her-brother-instead and you are set free. How your relationship with your sister progresses and changes over time will be so interesting for me to watch. I know how my own relationship with my sister ebbed and flowed over our teenage and early adulthood years, however ultimately ended up and continues to be one of the most important and significant relationships of my adulthood. I don't know where I would be without her and I rely on her support and advice so much. Whatever happens between you and your sister along the way, as I think I would be kidding myself to think there would be no friction at times (I mean, come on, we're talking about Addy here :)) I hope that you two remain in each others lives. It's really a gift to have a sister and I hope you two stick it out together.
Whether or not to have one more child really was one of the easiest decisions of my life. Obviously it was for your Dad too as it was never something I had to convince him of either. The fact that we got you out of the deal is almost too good to be true. I love the three of you equally, but there is something special about you. I think it is because I am so aware of how quickly kids grow up and for that reason I really soak you in on a daily basis. I make a point of sitting with you while you drink your milk when at all possible. And when you're done I turn you around and sit you on my lap and we chat and play until I can hear my services being needed elsewhere (ie. breaking up a fight between your siblings). And because I know how quickly time goes I am not trying to rush it. Instead, I just enjoy you, for the day it is, at the stage you are at. And, my littlest one, the stage you are at is worth enjoying. You love so sweetly and so calmly that it makes me fall more and more in love with you each and every day. Going into this past year, I really didn't know what to expect and wondered if I would make it out alive. Not only am I still breathing, my heart is more full than I ever imagined it could be. The three of you make what your Dad and I do on a daily basis more joyful, more rewarding, more than we ever thought we would ever be blessed with. The addition of you to the life I call our Clarence Road Project has completed our family foundation. Where we go and how we grow together is what's next and I could not feel luckier to be part of the crew. You, my littlest one were the final piece and you have spent the last year proving why we needed you and why we fell in love with you from the moment we saw you. You are my last and my littlest and I will hold that in my heart from now to eternity. You have been so kind and so understanding of me, over this past year - I owe so much of my sanity to you. In return, I can always promise - you will always be my baby and you will always be loved. No matter what this next year throws at us, or the next 40 after that - those are my guarantees. You make it so easy to love you, to want to be around you. I will soak that in for every minute that it is my reality. You are going to do magical things - I am sure of it. Important things and meaningful things with your life. Thank you for being you and for being my baby. Thank you for making me a better mama, for making me slow down and enjoy and for teaching me how to work through the balancing act that is three kids. Going into year two, I promise to keep looking for moments the two of us can share, away from the madness. Where we can talk, re group and connect - just us. It's time that I cherish and as long as you'll let me, I plan on sneaking it in whenever I can.
Here's to you at one year new.
Love,
Mama
xoxo
Tuesday, June 23, 2015
Month 11.
Dear Aubrey,
A few days ago, you turned 11 months old. As your 1st birthday approaches, ever so near, I can hardly believe that before we know it we will be celebrating that milestone. In some ways, I feel like we just met, but in others I can hardly remember you as a baby. The past 11 months have at times flown by, however at times they have also dragged. Having three little kids has proven wonderfully hard - just as having one and two children both were. Let's be clear, you were meant to be part of this family. In some ways, I always knew I would meet you one day, always knew that this household needed you, always knew that my heart longed for you, always knew that you were mine. With all of that squared away, let's also be clear that your entry and your permanence has at times been difficult. And this month, it seemed to be magnified...
I feel like you woke up a little this month. All of a sudden you had opinions and you found your spunk. To be fair, you were a bit sick this month so that may have attributed to your general moodiness however I don't think it was entirely a coincidence. You have started to voice your needs and desires a little more loudly these days, as well as any displeasure. This displeasure is most often directed at your sister (and for the most part I can't blame you) however I still haven't quite gotten used to it coming from you. For the better part of 10 months, you were simply a pawn around here. Able to go anywhere, flexible and a general team player but sometime this month things shifted. I do attribute some of your frustration to the fact that you are still immobile. You can slide/push yourself forward if you are motivated by raisins, however if that raisin is even a centimeter further than you feel you can move, you have zero desire to even try. I can't decide if you do not possess the skills to move forward or if you are simply lazy. In all honesty, it's probably a combination of both. Third babies have many helpers, many small people who continually get things for them and many adults who dote on them and pick them up whenever they need. At this point, 11 months in, I am somewhat ready for you to start exploring. I almost cringe writing that, knowing what chaos a crawling baby can create, however your immobility is getting a little old. You officially have my permission to start moving. Now go!
It wasn't until this month that I really realized that I have 3 kids. Obviously I always knew that the 3 of you existed and that I in fact birthed you all, but it wasn't until this past month that I truly realized what that meant. It has dawned on me that not only do I have three kids, but that I also have 3 opinions, 3 personalities, 3 unique spirits to manage now. At this point, basically at ground zero, that task seems a little daunting. I want nothing more than to be what you need as a Mom, but just as much as I want that for you, I want that for your brother and sister as well. And this is where it gets tricky, for what you need may not be what they need, and then how does that work? How can I equally yet effectively manage, support and guide each of you? At this point I have more questions than answers and if there was a perfect-parenting-3-children-guide I would have ordered it months ago. But right along with all those questions lie just as many promises. No matter how hard things get, how crazy you three make me, how busy our lives get, how pulled in a million directions we find ourselves, I promise that I will never stop trying to be everything that you need. Let's just be clear here: everything you need may not always be everything that you want, but my sweet girl, I promise you that someday you will understand, just like I do when looking back on my own childhood. I promise that every decision will be rooted in the very deepest of love, and even when I make the wrong decision or say the wrong thing, know that I am trying my very best. That is the best I can promise you - I will always do what you need, I will always love you, I will always do my best. You deserve nothing less, in fact, you deserve more than I could ever give you, but for now, let's just both bring our A games and I'm sure we will end up just fine.
Here's to you at 11 months new.
Love,
Mama
xoxo
Monday, June 1, 2015
3.
Dear Addy,
A couple of weeks ago, you turned 3 years old. Quite honestly, I feel like I have been waiting a LONG time for you to turn 3. Maybe it's the fact that almost everybody guesses that you are actually 4 years old when they meet you. Or maybe it's the fact that over the past year, you have truly and completely transformed. When I watch videos of you from your 2nd birthday, I can hardly believe that they were shot only a year ago. You just seem like such a baby back then, and today, today my sweet girl, you are anything but a baby. You are a full blown, full emotion, full drama kid.
As I sit down to write this letter to you, if I am being honest, I am not sure quite where to begin. Trying to describe you, trying to explain what you're like on this day, at this age, is harder than it was when your brother turned 3. Because my sweet girl are what I like to call "a mixed bag". While your brother was (and is) predictable, rational and calm, you are most definitely not. You are so many wonderful, amazing things, but predictable, rational, and calm do not fit your bill.
You are a talker. I kind of have a feeling that this trait may stay with you in the long run. 95% of the time, I love this about you. I love hearing the random thoughts and questions going through your mind and love that you tell me each and every one of them. I love that you keep me company and make even the most mundane tasks and errands fun, just by being there to chat my ear off. Even though at times I wish I could mute you, I try very hard to remind myself to let you keep talking. Because you see, even though what you have to say now may be trivial (and perhaps a touch annoying from time to time), what you have to say in 10, 20, 30, 40, etc years most definitely will not. And I want to hear it all. I want you to always talk to me. I want to hear all your troubles, all your fears, all your questions and all your pains. And I don't want you to ever even question it, I just want you to see me, and have it all spew out. So for now, even on those days where your voice makes my blood boil (ok, that might be a bit extreme but you get the idea), I will take a deep breath and listen to your every word.
You are a lover of life. You love people, animals, dolls, toys, snacks, errands...I could go on. I have never seen any child get so excited for a glass of milk, or a trip to the grocery store, or a favourite TV show. As much as your moods may shift from one second to the next, when you are up, you are WAY up. Your joy for life and your excitement for our days is a true testament to the joy we should all be living and be seeking. And in turn, because you radiate this love, I am convinced that people cannot help but fall in love with you back. Of all the people that Jake could choose to sit with on the couch, he almost always chooses you (unless Papa is over - but nobody can compete with him). Aubrey looks for you the second she wakes up to the second she goes to sleep. Everywhere we go, people gravitate to you, your smile, your joy and your love. It's just your way. You have a gift my sweet girl and I cannot wait to see where it takes you and what you can do with it.
You are an energetic one. I cannot stress this point enough. In your two year old letter I commented about how well and hard you sleep. Thankfully this trait remains to this day. However, if anyone went as hard as you do while awake I think they would sleep just as well. You go from the second you wake up to the second you go to bed. And because of this speed and this exuberance, when you mix in a little clumsiness and being on the taller side, that adds up to falling - a lot. You fall, trip, get hurt so often that it's a little ridiculous already. You have withstood so many bumps on your head (like golfball bumps) that I have lost count. So which is it? Are you such a good sleeper because you are just so tired, or are you permanently concussed? TBD, I suppose :).
You are a wild one. It honestly pains me to write this, because your wildness causes me so much grief, so much frustration, but I secretly love it. I love your spirit, your fire and your spark. I love that I know with complete certainty that no one will ever take advantage of you. I love that your mood can go from devastated to joyful in a mere moment (but not so much the other way around).
You are a game changer. This past year it has been truly solidified in my mind, however I think to some degree I always knew that you were. From your first few days there was just something different about you. And each and every day since then you have made your presence known. Moving forward, I am so very certain that you are going to do amazing things. You are just the type. You have an inner spirit and that special something that makes people gravitate towards you, listen to you, want to be around you. You are a sweet soul. You are crazy, but you are a sweet soul.
If there is one thing that I know for sure, it's that over the past year you have challenged me. You have kept me on my toes, forced me to think outside the parenting box and change my game plan countless times. There are countless moments where I have had to pause and take deep breaths in order for me to keep my cool. But, interspersed among those moments of frustration are even more moments of pure love. The kind of love that makes my heart feel like it is going to explode. The kind of love that makes me feel like there is no way I got so lucky to have you as my daughter. The kind of love that makes every hard moment disappear. You are that love and you exude that love each and every day. You are a talker, a lover, an energetic one, a wild one and a game changer and I am so very proud to call you mine. You make everything extra special.
As per tradition around here, here is your 3rd birthday interview. It's you. And I love it.
Love to you, my girl, my light, my joy. Happiest x3 and for forever.
Love,
Mama
xoxo
A couple of weeks ago, you turned 3 years old. Quite honestly, I feel like I have been waiting a LONG time for you to turn 3. Maybe it's the fact that almost everybody guesses that you are actually 4 years old when they meet you. Or maybe it's the fact that over the past year, you have truly and completely transformed. When I watch videos of you from your 2nd birthday, I can hardly believe that they were shot only a year ago. You just seem like such a baby back then, and today, today my sweet girl, you are anything but a baby. You are a full blown, full emotion, full drama kid.
As I sit down to write this letter to you, if I am being honest, I am not sure quite where to begin. Trying to describe you, trying to explain what you're like on this day, at this age, is harder than it was when your brother turned 3. Because my sweet girl are what I like to call "a mixed bag". While your brother was (and is) predictable, rational and calm, you are most definitely not. You are so many wonderful, amazing things, but predictable, rational, and calm do not fit your bill.
You are a talker. I kind of have a feeling that this trait may stay with you in the long run. 95% of the time, I love this about you. I love hearing the random thoughts and questions going through your mind and love that you tell me each and every one of them. I love that you keep me company and make even the most mundane tasks and errands fun, just by being there to chat my ear off. Even though at times I wish I could mute you, I try very hard to remind myself to let you keep talking. Because you see, even though what you have to say now may be trivial (and perhaps a touch annoying from time to time), what you have to say in 10, 20, 30, 40, etc years most definitely will not. And I want to hear it all. I want you to always talk to me. I want to hear all your troubles, all your fears, all your questions and all your pains. And I don't want you to ever even question it, I just want you to see me, and have it all spew out. So for now, even on those days where your voice makes my blood boil (ok, that might be a bit extreme but you get the idea), I will take a deep breath and listen to your every word.
You are a lover of life. You love people, animals, dolls, toys, snacks, errands...I could go on. I have never seen any child get so excited for a glass of milk, or a trip to the grocery store, or a favourite TV show. As much as your moods may shift from one second to the next, when you are up, you are WAY up. Your joy for life and your excitement for our days is a true testament to the joy we should all be living and be seeking. And in turn, because you radiate this love, I am convinced that people cannot help but fall in love with you back. Of all the people that Jake could choose to sit with on the couch, he almost always chooses you (unless Papa is over - but nobody can compete with him). Aubrey looks for you the second she wakes up to the second she goes to sleep. Everywhere we go, people gravitate to you, your smile, your joy and your love. It's just your way. You have a gift my sweet girl and I cannot wait to see where it takes you and what you can do with it.
You are an energetic one. I cannot stress this point enough. In your two year old letter I commented about how well and hard you sleep. Thankfully this trait remains to this day. However, if anyone went as hard as you do while awake I think they would sleep just as well. You go from the second you wake up to the second you go to bed. And because of this speed and this exuberance, when you mix in a little clumsiness and being on the taller side, that adds up to falling - a lot. You fall, trip, get hurt so often that it's a little ridiculous already. You have withstood so many bumps on your head (like golfball bumps) that I have lost count. So which is it? Are you such a good sleeper because you are just so tired, or are you permanently concussed? TBD, I suppose :).
You are a wild one. It honestly pains me to write this, because your wildness causes me so much grief, so much frustration, but I secretly love it. I love your spirit, your fire and your spark. I love that I know with complete certainty that no one will ever take advantage of you. I love that your mood can go from devastated to joyful in a mere moment (but not so much the other way around).
You are a game changer. This past year it has been truly solidified in my mind, however I think to some degree I always knew that you were. From your first few days there was just something different about you. And each and every day since then you have made your presence known. Moving forward, I am so very certain that you are going to do amazing things. You are just the type. You have an inner spirit and that special something that makes people gravitate towards you, listen to you, want to be around you. You are a sweet soul. You are crazy, but you are a sweet soul.
If there is one thing that I know for sure, it's that over the past year you have challenged me. You have kept me on my toes, forced me to think outside the parenting box and change my game plan countless times. There are countless moments where I have had to pause and take deep breaths in order for me to keep my cool. But, interspersed among those moments of frustration are even more moments of pure love. The kind of love that makes my heart feel like it is going to explode. The kind of love that makes me feel like there is no way I got so lucky to have you as my daughter. The kind of love that makes every hard moment disappear. You are that love and you exude that love each and every day. You are a talker, a lover, an energetic one, a wild one and a game changer and I am so very proud to call you mine. You make everything extra special.
As per tradition around here, here is your 3rd birthday interview. It's you. And I love it.
Love to you, my girl, my light, my joy. Happiest x3 and for forever.
Love,
Mama
xoxo
Tuesday, May 12, 2015
Month 10.
Dear Aubrey,
A few days ago, you turned 10 months old. Double digits, my friend, and ever so creeping on that one year mark. And once again, you are just the happiest of souls. You continue to amaze me as you go with the flow, take whatever is thrown at you and adjust on the fly to our hectic lives and busy schedules.
This month, I officially stopped nursing you. When you were very young, you did "take" a bottle, however I use that term loosely as you never took it very well and clearly did not like it. Because of how difficult it was to get you to drink from it, against all my better judgement and initial plans, I did not try often enough. Eventually, around three months old, you just flat our refused it and we stayed in that camp for the next 6 months. Although frustrating at times, I found comfort in the fact that it would not last forever and that when it came down to it, I didn't really have anywhere to go anyways. Well madam, about 6 weeks ago I simply got tired of that reality. I was ready to have some freedom and ready to rejoin the world of activities and events that start before 7pm or last longer than 4 hours. So, we started to wean. I followed the same type of pattern I did with your sister (as she too was a bottle refuser) and started slowly. To say the least, it was a struggle. You had no interest in drinking from a sippy cup and as a result basically starved yourself from liquids for about 2 weeks. But ever so slowly, ever so surely, you started to cave. Every day got a bit better and a bit easier. And suddenly, about 4 weeks in you just accepted your new reality and decided to start chugging. And chug you did (and continue to do). And just like that I was done nursing. FOREVER. There may be things about having a baby that I look back on and miss, but nursing will never be one of them. It's just not my thing. I was willing to do it, am grateful that I could, but ultimately will not ever miss it. Good riddance, nursing - catch ya never.
You still can't move. And for the first time this past month, it seemed to kind of get to you at times. You sit and you reach, and can even heave yourself onto your stomach but that is where it ends. What follows is a whole lot of leg kicking mixed in with general grunting and whining. Part of me hopes you can figure the whole thing out soon, as the whole show is getting a little tired, but the other part of me, the much more practical, logical side, will enjoy every moment of your immobility.
Every month as I sit down and write these letters to you I search deep inside for the right words to describe how much you matter, how much you mean to me, how much you have changed me, and how much you have added to my/our lives. And then, the other night I was reading the book "Carry on Warrior" by Glennon Doyle Melton and her words jumped off the page into my heart, my mind and my soul. I have never read anything that I resonated with more. And I could not have ever written something so perfectly that describes what welcoming you into our family did to me and to us.
Here it is...
"Then the third arrives. And as you hold her for the first time, you notice that your hands are steady and you're breathing easy. The all-consuming fire is gone. Love is just...love. Your don't feel threatened anymore by her or the world. Because all of a sudden you see in her teeny little face that she is the world. And you understand that you're not her protecter anyway; she has One of Those. You're just her teacher. You're just borrowing her for a little while. You decide not to spend so much of your precious time begging God to shield her from the world. Seems silly, all of a sudden. Because she, God, the world, are all mixed up together inside that new skin.
Then, as you count her tiny fingers with yours, you check your heart and find no guilt there. Because you understand that you are about to present your older children with the greatest gift of their lives. Who else but a sibling travels with you from the start of life's path to the bitter end? And you know now that if your first and second born spend the next few months relearning that They're Not the Centre of the Universe, well, good then. It's an important thing to know, and it's a lesson best learned early. So, there's another gift to them, courtesy of you, and this littlest one.
You understand that things will get tougher when she comes home. You will sweat and curse more at the grocery store. You will have less money to buy her the right things. You will look far less graceful at playdates. But you will care less. Because you have listened to and spoken to enough honest parents to understand that we're all in this together. And that there is no prize for most composed. So you've decided to stop making parenthood harder by pretending it's not hard.
You look down at her, your third, and you think, what's so different about you? But before you finish asking the question, you know the answer. And your heart says to her: Oh. You're not different from the other two. I am. I'm learning how to love without so much fear. How to relax a bit, in this brutiful world. How to let go and trust. You are helping me breathe easier, you three. One at a time, and together."
I cried as I read and re-read the words, over and over again. And at the end, like a tidal wave of love, the words that came to me, were thank you. Thank you, my sweet littlest one. For teaching me how to let go, how to care less, how to admit when things are hard, how to breathe easier. When your brother was born, I fought against it all. When your sister was born, I faked it. When you were born, I finally embraced it. And the joy and relief that came with it has allowed me to see the world clearer, steadier and calmer. It's a shit show sometimes (ok, a lot of the time), but it's our shit show. And we rock it. And at the end of the day, when I sing to you before bed, you always cuddle in to me, with your head placed firmly on my shoulder, and you sing right back almost as if you're saying "mama, we've got this". Love is just...love. And you, my very sweet child, are every definition of the word.
Here's to you at 10 months new.
Love,
Mama
xoxo
Thursday, April 16, 2015
Month 9.
Dear Aubrey,
A few days ago, you turned 9 months old. As of this month you have officially been on the outside as long as I knew you were in the inside, and as per usual, you continue to take it easy on us around here.
Although 95% of the month you did uphold your amazing attitude, we did dabble on the other side a few times. At first, I couldn't quite figure out what the problem was. You were still fairly happy, but would randomly cry out or need to be held periodically during the day. It wasn't until your Auntie Kari pointed out the FOUR TEETH that were coming through your top gums that the mystery was solved. How I missed those teeth coming in I will never know but instantly I understood and sympathized with you as it looked as painful as your cries sounded. By the end of the month they had all broken through completely and you relaxed again. I cannot imagine how much that must hurt and even so you handled it like a pro.
This month will also mark the first time we experienced your temper. Up until now you have pretty much gone with the flow, having toys ripped from your grasp numerous times a day (cue Addy), never as much as batting an eye. On this particular day however, you were sitting with your Dad, playing with this domino math game of your Nana's when Colin asked your Dad if he could play with it. Knowing that you probably couldn't care less, your Dad said sure, but just asked Colin to get something else for you to play with - a trade of some sorts. So, your Dad took the game away from you to hand to Colin...this is where your temper erupted. The sound you made and the tears that followed stopped both your Dad and I in our tracks. We couldn't believe how strongly you reacted. So much so, that we decided to test the waters again...we are cruel parents like that. So, your Dad handed the game back to you, only to take it away again a few seconds later. And oh my, the question of whether or not you were having a temper tantrum was forever solidified - a solid yes. As much as I realize that dealing with baby and toddler temper tantrums is not my favourite part of being a parent, watching you erupt actually made me laugh. To be honest, I think it was the first time I saw that much emotion come out of you.
Seeing this outburst also reminded me that soon enough you are going to be a full fledged opinionated part of this family. So far, you have pretty much just gone along with whatever we were doing, whatever we were eating, wherever we were going. The clock is ticking on this easy breezy stage and I am interested to see how you ultimately fit into the mix around here. One more person means one more opinion and one more personality to mesh into our family mould. I'll be completely honest - that scares me a little. Some days, I feel like all I do is referee opinions, and I just have 2 to deal with. Adding the third (that's you) to the mix will undoubtedly have its fair share of rocky moments/days/months. There are so many unknowns about how you will mix things up around here, at each of your stages and years. That being said, one thing that is forever certain, is that this family was meant to include you. Your Dad and I dreamed about each one of you kids and knew that our lives needed you and our hearts ached for you. I don't know if I will ever feel worthy of the gift that is you (or your brother or sister) but I do know that it is a gift I will never take for granted. Yes, some days are tough, sometimes I am exhausted and from time to time I lose my mind. But at the end of each day, when the three of you kids are sleeping away and the house is quiet again I know that I am exactly where I am meant to be. This life of ours, although crazy at times, could not be better. We are so lucky and so blessed. And you, my dear, make things that much sweeter. So far, the show you have put on has been the very best of opening acts. You have me hooked. I can't look away as I don't want to miss one minute and I wait with baited breath to see the plot unfold. With you as the star of the show, it's sure to be a hit.
Here's to you at 9 months new.
Love,
Mama
xoxo
A few days ago, you turned 9 months old. As of this month you have officially been on the outside as long as I knew you were in the inside, and as per usual, you continue to take it easy on us around here.
Although 95% of the month you did uphold your amazing attitude, we did dabble on the other side a few times. At first, I couldn't quite figure out what the problem was. You were still fairly happy, but would randomly cry out or need to be held periodically during the day. It wasn't until your Auntie Kari pointed out the FOUR TEETH that were coming through your top gums that the mystery was solved. How I missed those teeth coming in I will never know but instantly I understood and sympathized with you as it looked as painful as your cries sounded. By the end of the month they had all broken through completely and you relaxed again. I cannot imagine how much that must hurt and even so you handled it like a pro.
This month will also mark the first time we experienced your temper. Up until now you have pretty much gone with the flow, having toys ripped from your grasp numerous times a day (cue Addy), never as much as batting an eye. On this particular day however, you were sitting with your Dad, playing with this domino math game of your Nana's when Colin asked your Dad if he could play with it. Knowing that you probably couldn't care less, your Dad said sure, but just asked Colin to get something else for you to play with - a trade of some sorts. So, your Dad took the game away from you to hand to Colin...this is where your temper erupted. The sound you made and the tears that followed stopped both your Dad and I in our tracks. We couldn't believe how strongly you reacted. So much so, that we decided to test the waters again...we are cruel parents like that. So, your Dad handed the game back to you, only to take it away again a few seconds later. And oh my, the question of whether or not you were having a temper tantrum was forever solidified - a solid yes. As much as I realize that dealing with baby and toddler temper tantrums is not my favourite part of being a parent, watching you erupt actually made me laugh. To be honest, I think it was the first time I saw that much emotion come out of you.
Seeing this outburst also reminded me that soon enough you are going to be a full fledged opinionated part of this family. So far, you have pretty much just gone along with whatever we were doing, whatever we were eating, wherever we were going. The clock is ticking on this easy breezy stage and I am interested to see how you ultimately fit into the mix around here. One more person means one more opinion and one more personality to mesh into our family mould. I'll be completely honest - that scares me a little. Some days, I feel like all I do is referee opinions, and I just have 2 to deal with. Adding the third (that's you) to the mix will undoubtedly have its fair share of rocky moments/days/months. There are so many unknowns about how you will mix things up around here, at each of your stages and years. That being said, one thing that is forever certain, is that this family was meant to include you. Your Dad and I dreamed about each one of you kids and knew that our lives needed you and our hearts ached for you. I don't know if I will ever feel worthy of the gift that is you (or your brother or sister) but I do know that it is a gift I will never take for granted. Yes, some days are tough, sometimes I am exhausted and from time to time I lose my mind. But at the end of each day, when the three of you kids are sleeping away and the house is quiet again I know that I am exactly where I am meant to be. This life of ours, although crazy at times, could not be better. We are so lucky and so blessed. And you, my dear, make things that much sweeter. So far, the show you have put on has been the very best of opening acts. You have me hooked. I can't look away as I don't want to miss one minute and I wait with baited breath to see the plot unfold. With you as the star of the show, it's sure to be a hit.
Here's to you at 9 months new.
Love,
Mama
xoxo
Tuesday, March 17, 2015
Month 8.
Dear Aubrey,
A few days ago, you turned 8 months old. Once again, you continue to amaze me. You are so good and so easy and so wonderful. You handle this life of ours and the busy, always on the go days we have around here so painlessly that I often wonder if you're too good to be true. The only explanation I can come up with is that you will pay us back in your teenage years. It seems only fair.
This month, you started to really eat and eat you did. You can pack back the food like nobody's business. And to date, there has been nothing that you have refused. Both your brother and sister have spent time in the "picky eater" category so at this moment in time, I am loving your willingness to try new food and pack back a meal in record time. I can assume that this means that this will always be the case and that we will never have to set the timer, serve suppers for breakfast or withhold snacks like I have had to do too often with your brother and sister. One can hope, right?
For this first time this month you were plucked from your carseat for a ride in the front of the cart at Superstore. From the second your bum hit that seat you were over the moon thrilled. I have honestly never seen you smile like that - and you smile a lot. You were absolutely giddy. Your sister sat beside you as we shopped and you took in every single moment of that trip. You touched everything and anything you could. I was instantly brought back about 2 years and 4 years ago when my grocery list became a snack and each one you felt the need to gnaw on it every chance you got. This time around, I am smart enough to realize that this stage does not last forever and is so much better than the "I want out of the cart" stage which comes all too quickly. For that reason, my lady, grab and gnaw away.
A little while ago, it became tragically apparent how truly lucky we are to have you. By the grace of God we have three amazing, healthy, happy children and a life that is nothing but good. I was reminded at a deep, painful level that at any moment tragedy can strike and your life, or what you thought would be your life, can dissolve. I spent some time running through what it would be like to lose one of you kids. How that would destroy and shatter my core, my heart and my soul. After some time, in that deep, dark place I had a realization - there wasn't really a point in torturing myself with those thoughts. The fact of the matter is that for whatever reason, we are lucky enough to have you all - happy, healthy and amazing. If for some reason that should change some day, I would never want to think that I wasted even one second crying about what might happen. I would want to know that I spent every second of every day soaking in your joy, enjoying your light and loving on you with every ounce of my heart. Life is far too precious for anything else.
My sweet girl, I am already better because of you. I am already more of who I am supposed to be because of you. I already love better and more immensely because of you. All in 8 months - that's got to be some sort of record.
Here's to you at 8 months new.
Love x8,
Mama
xoxo
A few days ago, you turned 8 months old. Once again, you continue to amaze me. You are so good and so easy and so wonderful. You handle this life of ours and the busy, always on the go days we have around here so painlessly that I often wonder if you're too good to be true. The only explanation I can come up with is that you will pay us back in your teenage years. It seems only fair.
This month, you started to really eat and eat you did. You can pack back the food like nobody's business. And to date, there has been nothing that you have refused. Both your brother and sister have spent time in the "picky eater" category so at this moment in time, I am loving your willingness to try new food and pack back a meal in record time. I can assume that this means that this will always be the case and that we will never have to set the timer, serve suppers for breakfast or withhold snacks like I have had to do too often with your brother and sister. One can hope, right?
For this first time this month you were plucked from your carseat for a ride in the front of the cart at Superstore. From the second your bum hit that seat you were over the moon thrilled. I have honestly never seen you smile like that - and you smile a lot. You were absolutely giddy. Your sister sat beside you as we shopped and you took in every single moment of that trip. You touched everything and anything you could. I was instantly brought back about 2 years and 4 years ago when my grocery list became a snack and each one you felt the need to gnaw on it every chance you got. This time around, I am smart enough to realize that this stage does not last forever and is so much better than the "I want out of the cart" stage which comes all too quickly. For that reason, my lady, grab and gnaw away.
A little while ago, it became tragically apparent how truly lucky we are to have you. By the grace of God we have three amazing, healthy, happy children and a life that is nothing but good. I was reminded at a deep, painful level that at any moment tragedy can strike and your life, or what you thought would be your life, can dissolve. I spent some time running through what it would be like to lose one of you kids. How that would destroy and shatter my core, my heart and my soul. After some time, in that deep, dark place I had a realization - there wasn't really a point in torturing myself with those thoughts. The fact of the matter is that for whatever reason, we are lucky enough to have you all - happy, healthy and amazing. If for some reason that should change some day, I would never want to think that I wasted even one second crying about what might happen. I would want to know that I spent every second of every day soaking in your joy, enjoying your light and loving on you with every ounce of my heart. Life is far too precious for anything else.
My sweet girl, I am already better because of you. I am already more of who I am supposed to be because of you. I already love better and more immensely because of you. All in 8 months - that's got to be some sort of record.
Here's to you at 8 months new.
Love x8,
Mama
xoxo
Saturday, February 14, 2015
Month 7.
Dear Aubrey,
A few days ago, you turned 7 months old. It's been pretty much business as usual around here and just like most every other month that you have been part of our family, you continue to allow the crazy to go on around you, never complaining or objecting. This month you started sitting on your own and love to sit, play and watch the world around you from an upright position. It amazes me how good you are at this already, rarely falling backward or to the side. My amazement quickly turns to worry as the speed in which you acquired this skill does not bode well for me in the long run. As much as I love to watch you grow and learn, life with a baby changes drastically when said baby becomes mobile. For this reason, feel free to get comfortable where you are. I love you every way, but I love you the most when you stay in one spot.
For the first time this month, you sat with Addy in the front of the cart at the store. Up until that point you stayed in your carseat and were perfectly content to look up at the lights and people watch as we grocery shopped. If it wasn't for the amount of crucial cart space that your carseat occupies, I probably could have left you like that for many more months. But I needed that space, so up you came. And from the second your bum hit that seat, your mind was blown. It was like all of a sudden your life made sense, the world was your oyster and your life's possibilities were endless. The joy in your heart was palpable. I am well aware that very soon a grocery shopping trip will become less than world shatteringly impressive to you so in the mean time I will just enjoy the look on your face each and every time it appears.
Believe it or not, even though I have been a Mom for almost 4 and a half years, it still amazes me that I have one child, never mind three. Occasionally when your brother or sister calls me Mom it hits me deep. Deep, deep down in my heart and soul that forever and ever, I am your Mom. It is because I know how infinitely special my own Mom is to me, how crucial she has been and continues to be to my life, how she knows me and my story, from start to finish that the fact that I have three of my own is sometimes too much for my heart to handle. And you, even though we have only known each other for 7 months, hold just as equal amount of real estate in this bursting heart of mine as the others. To put the way I feel about you into words, is something I struggle with each and every month I sit down to write this letter to you. And then, a few days ago, I read this, and it just made sense...
A few days ago, you turned 7 months old. It's been pretty much business as usual around here and just like most every other month that you have been part of our family, you continue to allow the crazy to go on around you, never complaining or objecting. This month you started sitting on your own and love to sit, play and watch the world around you from an upright position. It amazes me how good you are at this already, rarely falling backward or to the side. My amazement quickly turns to worry as the speed in which you acquired this skill does not bode well for me in the long run. As much as I love to watch you grow and learn, life with a baby changes drastically when said baby becomes mobile. For this reason, feel free to get comfortable where you are. I love you every way, but I love you the most when you stay in one spot.
For the first time this month, you sat with Addy in the front of the cart at the store. Up until that point you stayed in your carseat and were perfectly content to look up at the lights and people watch as we grocery shopped. If it wasn't for the amount of crucial cart space that your carseat occupies, I probably could have left you like that for many more months. But I needed that space, so up you came. And from the second your bum hit that seat, your mind was blown. It was like all of a sudden your life made sense, the world was your oyster and your life's possibilities were endless. The joy in your heart was palpable. I am well aware that very soon a grocery shopping trip will become less than world shatteringly impressive to you so in the mean time I will just enjoy the look on your face each and every time it appears.
Believe it or not, even though I have been a Mom for almost 4 and a half years, it still amazes me that I have one child, never mind three. Occasionally when your brother or sister calls me Mom it hits me deep. Deep, deep down in my heart and soul that forever and ever, I am your Mom. It is because I know how infinitely special my own Mom is to me, how crucial she has been and continues to be to my life, how she knows me and my story, from start to finish that the fact that I have three of my own is sometimes too much for my heart to handle. And you, even though we have only known each other for 7 months, hold just as equal amount of real estate in this bursting heart of mine as the others. To put the way I feel about you into words, is something I struggle with each and every month I sit down to write this letter to you. And then, a few days ago, I read this, and it just made sense...
"You were a risk, a mystery, and the most certain thing I'd ever known." - Beau Taplin
I read these words and immediately realized that they summed up perfectly the journey in which you became part of our family. Before you were to be, we were just hitting our groove around here. Nights were uninterrupted, naps were skippable and we had what has been coined "a million dollar family". You were, in fact, a risk. Shaking things up is a gamble and it doesn't always mean things will settle right side up. You were also a mystery. What kind of baby you would be, whether you would be a boy or a girl, what you would think of this whole shebang we call life - a mystery. Risk, yes. Mystery, yes. The most certain thing I'd ever known - no doubt. From the time you were just a thought and a dream to this very moment, however many months that is later, you my girl, in my heart, were a sure thing. I wanted you. I knew that my life needed you and that no matter how hard and exhausting another baby would be, that in the end, my life would not be complete without you. It was never a question and to this day maintains that status. You were worth the risk, mystery included. Your joy, your light, your you have done nothing but solidify what I already knew. To me, you are and will always be, certain.
Here's to you at 7 months new.
Love x7,
Mama
xoxo
Monday, January 12, 2015
Month 6.
Dear Aubrey,
Yesterday, you turned 6 months old - one half year. I remember the first few days after you were born, just like the first few days after each of your siblings were born, everything was a bit overwhelming. The best advice I can give any first time Mom is that no matter how much reading and preparation you think you have done, you have no idea until that baby is staring you in the face. Like literally, no idea. With your brother, I definitely had zero idea. I had some idea with your sister. I had a decent idea with you. But still, those first few days, as much as your heart is exploding with every coo, every slight opening of eyes, the work is hard. I knew too much this time around. I knew that the nights ahead would be long, I knew that establishing nursing would be tough, I knew that integrating you into our crazy household would take time. I remember saying to your Dad that I just needed to get to 6 months - at 6 months, I felt that things would have settled down again. And honestly, I wasn't wrong. Here we are, at our milestone and things are fairly calm. You are definitely well integrated into this family and eating and sleeping have long been established.
I kind of feel like we are in the calm before the storm around here. I'll explain. You are at the age where you still sleep (a lot), but while awake, can definitely entertain yourself with the help of a few strategically placed contraptions. We pretty much rotate through the exersaucer, jolly jumper and play mat. You love them all and can spend as long as I will allow reaching, batting, gumming and bouncing your awake time away. The beauty of it all though, and the reason for the "calm" is that you still stay where I put you. Besides a bit of shifting and pivoting on your play mat, your toys and your immobility contain you to one place. Tis no better a thing than a happy baby who stays in one place. The storm that awaits us is when you can move around and all of a sudden the death trap that is our house will become a real threat. What do I mean by death trap, you ask? Well let me tell you. It starts with Lego, thousands and thousands of pieces of Lego, continues with a bazillion places to climb and ends with 2 other children who know how to open (and leave open) the basement gate. Yes, it's going to be a learning curve for us all. For all of these reasons, I will love this time and soak it in as long as I can. I am in no rush to get you to the mobility stage. No rush. Hear me? NO RUSH. Stay put for as long as you like, little one.
This past month we said a definite goodbye to your acceptance of a bottle. At first, I was upset and frustrated, as taking a bottle means that I can have a bit more freedom and a break from time to time. But shortly after, after I really thought about things, I realized that it doesn't really matter if you take a bottle or not. I have decided that I don't care. Yes, when the time to wean comes it will make things a little harder, but for now, I promise, it really doesn't matter. For one, where am I going? I have no weddings in Mexico (unfortunately), which is the reason I needed your sister to take a bottle. Secondly, I have three kids. Yes, it is true. And when you have three kids your list of social activities tends to be quite short anyways. And lastly, this is the last time of my life where I am going to have a nursing baby. Even if I nursed you another 2, 3, 4, 5 months even, I am never ever going to do this again and that is a-ok by me. For now, it's you and me, my girl. The time will come to part ways (at least eating wise) and that's ok by me too, but for now, we come as a set.
We celebrated Christmas over the past month, and just like most things in life, I don't think you had any clue what was going on. That being said, you were as joyful as always and put up with the chaos and business that is Christmas. I can only imagine the difference in you by next Christmas as each year with your siblings is better than the last. I imagine that next year might be the typical "more interested in the wrapping than the presents" year which is one of my favourites.
Ok, lady - just in case you haven't picked up on this yet, you are just the best baby ever. When you are done nursing, and it's just you and I in your room, I sometimes hide in there with you for a minute or two longer. I can hear the crazies being crazy outside your door, and even though I know I should go supervise their craziness, I can't quite make myself get up. We have mini conversations (me talking, you grunting), read a quick book, and enjoy the quiet (or at least the muffled craziness) for a few minutes. Can you keep a secret? It's often my favourite time of day.
Here's to you at 6 months new.
Love x6,
Mama
xoxo
Yesterday, you turned 6 months old - one half year. I remember the first few days after you were born, just like the first few days after each of your siblings were born, everything was a bit overwhelming. The best advice I can give any first time Mom is that no matter how much reading and preparation you think you have done, you have no idea until that baby is staring you in the face. Like literally, no idea. With your brother, I definitely had zero idea. I had some idea with your sister. I had a decent idea with you. But still, those first few days, as much as your heart is exploding with every coo, every slight opening of eyes, the work is hard. I knew too much this time around. I knew that the nights ahead would be long, I knew that establishing nursing would be tough, I knew that integrating you into our crazy household would take time. I remember saying to your Dad that I just needed to get to 6 months - at 6 months, I felt that things would have settled down again. And honestly, I wasn't wrong. Here we are, at our milestone and things are fairly calm. You are definitely well integrated into this family and eating and sleeping have long been established.
I kind of feel like we are in the calm before the storm around here. I'll explain. You are at the age where you still sleep (a lot), but while awake, can definitely entertain yourself with the help of a few strategically placed contraptions. We pretty much rotate through the exersaucer, jolly jumper and play mat. You love them all and can spend as long as I will allow reaching, batting, gumming and bouncing your awake time away. The beauty of it all though, and the reason for the "calm" is that you still stay where I put you. Besides a bit of shifting and pivoting on your play mat, your toys and your immobility contain you to one place. Tis no better a thing than a happy baby who stays in one place. The storm that awaits us is when you can move around and all of a sudden the death trap that is our house will become a real threat. What do I mean by death trap, you ask? Well let me tell you. It starts with Lego, thousands and thousands of pieces of Lego, continues with a bazillion places to climb and ends with 2 other children who know how to open (and leave open) the basement gate. Yes, it's going to be a learning curve for us all. For all of these reasons, I will love this time and soak it in as long as I can. I am in no rush to get you to the mobility stage. No rush. Hear me? NO RUSH. Stay put for as long as you like, little one.
This past month we said a definite goodbye to your acceptance of a bottle. At first, I was upset and frustrated, as taking a bottle means that I can have a bit more freedom and a break from time to time. But shortly after, after I really thought about things, I realized that it doesn't really matter if you take a bottle or not. I have decided that I don't care. Yes, when the time to wean comes it will make things a little harder, but for now, I promise, it really doesn't matter. For one, where am I going? I have no weddings in Mexico (unfortunately), which is the reason I needed your sister to take a bottle. Secondly, I have three kids. Yes, it is true. And when you have three kids your list of social activities tends to be quite short anyways. And lastly, this is the last time of my life where I am going to have a nursing baby. Even if I nursed you another 2, 3, 4, 5 months even, I am never ever going to do this again and that is a-ok by me. For now, it's you and me, my girl. The time will come to part ways (at least eating wise) and that's ok by me too, but for now, we come as a set.
We celebrated Christmas over the past month, and just like most things in life, I don't think you had any clue what was going on. That being said, you were as joyful as always and put up with the chaos and business that is Christmas. I can only imagine the difference in you by next Christmas as each year with your siblings is better than the last. I imagine that next year might be the typical "more interested in the wrapping than the presents" year which is one of my favourites.
Ok, lady - just in case you haven't picked up on this yet, you are just the best baby ever. When you are done nursing, and it's just you and I in your room, I sometimes hide in there with you for a minute or two longer. I can hear the crazies being crazy outside your door, and even though I know I should go supervise their craziness, I can't quite make myself get up. We have mini conversations (me talking, you grunting), read a quick book, and enjoy the quiet (or at least the muffled craziness) for a few minutes. Can you keep a secret? It's often my favourite time of day.
Here's to you at 6 months new.
Love x6,
Mama
xoxo
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