A few days ago, you turned 7 months old. It's been pretty much business as usual around here and just like most every other month that you have been part of our family, you continue to allow the crazy to go on around you, never complaining or objecting. This month you started sitting on your own and love to sit, play and watch the world around you from an upright position. It amazes me how good you are at this already, rarely falling backward or to the side. My amazement quickly turns to worry as the speed in which you acquired this skill does not bode well for me in the long run. As much as I love to watch you grow and learn, life with a baby changes drastically when said baby becomes mobile. For this reason, feel free to get comfortable where you are. I love you every way, but I love you the most when you stay in one spot.
For the first time this month, you sat with Addy in the front of the cart at the store. Up until that point you stayed in your carseat and were perfectly content to look up at the lights and people watch as we grocery shopped. If it wasn't for the amount of crucial cart space that your carseat occupies, I probably could have left you like that for many more months. But I needed that space, so up you came. And from the second your bum hit that seat, your mind was blown. It was like all of a sudden your life made sense, the world was your oyster and your life's possibilities were endless. The joy in your heart was palpable. I am well aware that very soon a grocery shopping trip will become less than world shatteringly impressive to you so in the mean time I will just enjoy the look on your face each and every time it appears.
Believe it or not, even though I have been a Mom for almost 4 and a half years, it still amazes me that I have one child, never mind three. Occasionally when your brother or sister calls me Mom it hits me deep. Deep, deep down in my heart and soul that forever and ever, I am your Mom. It is because I know how infinitely special my own Mom is to me, how crucial she has been and continues to be to my life, how she knows me and my story, from start to finish that the fact that I have three of my own is sometimes too much for my heart to handle. And you, even though we have only known each other for 7 months, hold just as equal amount of real estate in this bursting heart of mine as the others. To put the way I feel about you into words, is something I struggle with each and every month I sit down to write this letter to you. And then, a few days ago, I read this, and it just made sense...
"You were a risk, a mystery, and the most certain thing I'd ever known." - Beau Taplin
I read these words and immediately realized that they summed up perfectly the journey in which you became part of our family. Before you were to be, we were just hitting our groove around here. Nights were uninterrupted, naps were skippable and we had what has been coined "a million dollar family". You were, in fact, a risk. Shaking things up is a gamble and it doesn't always mean things will settle right side up. You were also a mystery. What kind of baby you would be, whether you would be a boy or a girl, what you would think of this whole shebang we call life - a mystery. Risk, yes. Mystery, yes. The most certain thing I'd ever known - no doubt. From the time you were just a thought and a dream to this very moment, however many months that is later, you my girl, in my heart, were a sure thing. I wanted you. I knew that my life needed you and that no matter how hard and exhausting another baby would be, that in the end, my life would not be complete without you. It was never a question and to this day maintains that status. You were worth the risk, mystery included. Your joy, your light, your you have done nothing but solidify what I already knew. To me, you are and will always be, certain.
Here's to you at 7 months new.
Love x7,
Mama
xoxo
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