I am more than a little late on this, but a few weeks ago you turned one year old. It's summer around here and we have been enjoying time as a family, getting house projects checked off the list, and trips to the lake. But right now, I want to make sure I take some time to document you - today, at one.
Once again, blah, blah, blah, you are such an amazing baby. I really feel like I have said this SO many times since you were born that it has lost a bit of its real meaning. You continue to amaze me as on pretty much a daily basis you allow the craziness that is this household to go on around you and with you and you just role with it. Our schedule is sometimes a little nuts and you come along and put up with it. When your brother was your age I very rarely had him miss a nap. This was partially due to the fact that I only had one child and really didn't have many reasons to have you miss it, but also because I just wasn't prepared to do it. With you, we simply don't have that luxury. Life did not stop when you were born, but rather seemed to kick into high gear. As a result your schedule has had to be fluid and you have managed it with grace and ease.
At this point in your brother and sisters lives I pretty much had them pegged. Although their personalities have moulded over the years, at one I knew what I was getting. You, my littlest one, are still very much a question mark. There are obviously things I know, but how they all play together to create YOU in the long run, is still a bit of a mystery. So far I can say for sure that you are patient and you are easy going. You also have a lot to say and I am so looking forward to your sounds to form words so I can finally understand your long winded stories.
But come on, you can't be all perfect, can you? No ma'am, you can't and you aren't. You have your moments and your tantrums, but they are few and far between. What sets you off you ask? Let me tell you as it won't take long. A-D-D-Y. You and your sister have a very interesting relationship. She really does love you and desperately wants you around her all day long. She is the first person to run to you when you come out of your room in the morning and the last person in your room before bed at night. So yes, she loves you, but she also has trouble respecting your, umm, personal space. She is way too close to you ALL THE TIME. And you do not like it. I don't blame you, but you really need to relax a bit. At the end of the day she just wants to be with you and you just want to anywhere else. In the past few weeks you have started to crawl (although I use that term loosely as it is really more of a heave/drag technique) and things have mellowed a bit - basically now that you can escape her. Obviously she follows you around for awhile but inevitably the three year old in her gets bored/distracted/sees-an-opportunity-to-annoy-her-brother-instead and you are set free. How your relationship with your sister progresses and changes over time will be so interesting for me to watch. I know how my own relationship with my sister ebbed and flowed over our teenage and early adulthood years, however ultimately ended up and continues to be one of the most important and significant relationships of my adulthood. I don't know where I would be without her and I rely on her support and advice so much. Whatever happens between you and your sister along the way, as I think I would be kidding myself to think there would be no friction at times (I mean, come on, we're talking about Addy here :)) I hope that you two remain in each others lives. It's really a gift to have a sister and I hope you two stick it out together.
Whether or not to have one more child really was one of the easiest decisions of my life. Obviously it was for your Dad too as it was never something I had to convince him of either. The fact that we got you out of the deal is almost too good to be true. I love the three of you equally, but there is something special about you. I think it is because I am so aware of how quickly kids grow up and for that reason I really soak you in on a daily basis. I make a point of sitting with you while you drink your milk when at all possible. And when you're done I turn you around and sit you on my lap and we chat and play until I can hear my services being needed elsewhere (ie. breaking up a fight between your siblings). And because I know how quickly time goes I am not trying to rush it. Instead, I just enjoy you, for the day it is, at the stage you are at. And, my littlest one, the stage you are at is worth enjoying. You love so sweetly and so calmly that it makes me fall more and more in love with you each and every day. Going into this past year, I really didn't know what to expect and wondered if I would make it out alive. Not only am I still breathing, my heart is more full than I ever imagined it could be. The three of you make what your Dad and I do on a daily basis more joyful, more rewarding, more than we ever thought we would ever be blessed with. The addition of you to the life I call our Clarence Road Project has completed our family foundation. Where we go and how we grow together is what's next and I could not feel luckier to be part of the crew. You, my littlest one were the final piece and you have spent the last year proving why we needed you and why we fell in love with you from the moment we saw you. You are my last and my littlest and I will hold that in my heart from now to eternity. You have been so kind and so understanding of me, over this past year - I owe so much of my sanity to you. In return, I can always promise - you will always be my baby and you will always be loved. No matter what this next year throws at us, or the next 40 after that - those are my guarantees. You make it so easy to love you, to want to be around you. I will soak that in for every minute that it is my reality. You are going to do magical things - I am sure of it. Important things and meaningful things with your life. Thank you for being you and for being my baby. Thank you for making me a better mama, for making me slow down and enjoy and for teaching me how to work through the balancing act that is three kids. Going into year two, I promise to keep looking for moments the two of us can share, away from the madness. Where we can talk, re group and connect - just us. It's time that I cherish and as long as you'll let me, I plan on sneaking it in whenever I can.
Here's to you at one year new.
Love,
Mama
xoxo
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