Six.

Dear Addy,

A few weeks ago, you turned six years old.  Between your "friends" party and your family celebrations, it felt like your birthday lasted a couple of weeks - just the way you'd prefer it I'm sure. 

When I think about you, today, at 6, my mind can start to race - you are a bit of a complicated one!  You are no longer a little girl - at times I feel like you are closer to tween than toddler, something that is hard to believe!

You are such a gentle soul - to your classmates, your siblings, to our new puppy Hank, to strangers we meet.  You are so gentle and patient and kind and truly seem to have already grasped what it means to be a great friend.  You compromise what you want and put others needs ahead of yours.  You are WAY more patient with your sister than I am sometimes.  You are the type of kid that I am 100% sure will be first in line when it comes to being a patrol, a helper in the kindergarten room or on Mrs. Castor's leadership team.  You simply are that kind of kid.

With that softness and gentleness can sometimes come a whole whack of sensitivity, but we're working on that.  Your feelings can sometimes be quick to hurt and when you live with an almost 4 year old sister who knows how to push your buttons, sometimes the tears just flow.  You feel so deeply and although there are times when I wish you would toughen up a touch, I do want to foster your sensitivity for good.  You see people who are hurting, who need a little extra, who could benefit from your joy and you gravitate to them and lift them up. 

We tried a lot of new things over the past year - the two major ones being ringette and piano.  Ringette was a success, although very basic and more like glorified skating lessons than an actual sport but you looked forward to it every week and always tried your best.  I so look forward to watching you next fall in the next level.  Piano was the same - you thrived.  Your teacher is simply perfect for you - positive, gentle, fun, full of song - all traits I'm sure are meant specifically for you.  Like your brother still struggles with sometimes, piano can also be extremely frustrating for you and when things are difficult you can sometimes crumble.  But we're working on that, and each and every time you sat down to play you gained strength and determination - even if that was motivated by earning Shopkins cards :).

You have had just a perfectly wonderful year of Kindergarten.  You were 100% ready in September and you have completely thrived throughout the whole year.  It is so rewarding as a parent to see your child do well in school - both socially and academically.  I have had the opportunity to volunteer a couple of times in your classroom this year and each time I so enjoyed watching you with your class.  You have already made some pretty special friendships I think, and are very lucky to have so many amazing friends. 

If you look at some of the research on middle children, you will see that middle children are stereo typically neglected by their parents.  I have a hard time believing this to be true with you.  It would simply be impossible, even if I tried, to neglect you.  On the one hand, your drama and emotion and personality scream for and straight up demand the attention, but on the other, you have such an amazing draw.  People simply want to be around you.  They want to hear what you have to say and want to know what you think.  And I, my sweet girl, are no different.  So please keep talking to me.  We have been working lately on talking through our problems instead of simply crying them out.  I remember my Mom once saying to me as I bawled on her shoulder but had no words - "I can't help you if you don't tell me what's wrong".  I want to listen to every word you say.  And I want to help you.  I have said to you often lately - "I am on your team"...I promise that to be true. 

I have never once wished for you kids to stay little.  I thoroughly enjoy watching you grow and mature and become more independent from me each and every year that passes.  But, in June of your Kindergarten year, knowing that Grade One will be upon us soon and with it the full day, every day school day that it brings, I am most confident in this - I will miss you.  Your little sister will miss you.  Our mornings together, although often spent running errands or with me working away will not be the same without you.  I feel so grateful that I had the opportunity to be home a little more with you than with your brother.  I think you needed it, but I also think I needed it.  I needed to soak you in a little more and hold you a little tighter, but now you're ready.  And in the mean time, we will get to spend the summer together loving on each other (and driving each other crazy) and visiting Mickey and Minnie! before September comes and our time together gets cut.  Just promise me that you'll make up for it when you can.

Love you, sweet girl. x6

Love,

Mama
xoxo

Seven.

Dear Colin,

Well this is embarrassing.  It's almost February and I am just doing this now.  It's been so long that I almost tried to give myself the excuse that I should just forget it and make the announcement that these birthday letters for you guys end at 6 years old.  Which is just ridiculous because it was always my intention to continue these for you for every year that I am able - so, that's what we'll do.  Even if it's brutally late, or maybe short, I'm going to get some words out.

You are the best 7 year old I have ever had the pleasure to know.  I don't know if there was anything revolutionary or transformative in you between the age of 6 or 7 or if it was rather just a consistent and steady increase of maturity, calmness, rationality and patience.  Regardless of whether or not it was a switch over night or a work in progress, it is appreciated.  You are my steady state, my constant and my calm.  You rarely get upset, rarely cause problems and usually are the peacekeeper that your sisters desperately need.

It is an odd transition for a parent, when you realize that your child doesn't really need you anymore.  Don't get me wrong - you still need me for MANY things, but the basic stuff, you don't need.  You don't need help with clothes or shoes, don't need reminders or help in the bathroom, don't need help getting a snack, don't need me to help you get your hockey stuff on. Believe me, it is nice to not be needed every second of the day (especially when I have others who still do), but that doesn't change the fact that it just feels odd.  Especially when I think about the fact that as every year ticks by, you are going to need me less and less, big or small.  I am so impressed with your independance, your drive to learn and master new skills, and your ability to lead.  You are a true first born.

There is nothing a parent likes to hear more than the praise of their child from their teacher.  During the week you are at school for more hours a day than you are at home and there I am so proud of the reputation you have built for yourself at school.  We constantly hear about your kindness of others, your work ethic and how willing you are to help others.  There are no other traits that I wished more for you and at each parent teacher interview, each chance encounter with a teacher, it is like music to my ears to hear how much they appreciate and enjoy having them in your classroom. 

The other day you asked to speak to me "in private" (which by itself made my ears raise).  When we got into my room and closed the door, you asked me a simple question.  If you and I could go somewhere just us.  It made my heart swell to think about the fact that you still wanted/needed some time with just me, but also made me it hurt just a bit.  Sometimes I worry about the amount of time I spend working, the amount of time I spend distracted, the amount of times I feel pulled in a million directions.  I worry that each time I choose something that takes me away from you that you are mentally calculating a total to one day throw back in my face with feelings of resentment and neglect.  I don't think there is a parent in the world who hasn't felt the same at some point - because it never feels like enough.  Even though I hardly ever miss an activity or event of yours, even though I am there almost every morning and most bedtimes, it never seems like enough.  There just isn't enough hours in the day to be involved in as many things as we are and also have multiple opportunities a week to wind down and relax together or spend time just you and I. But that doesn't mean I will ever stop trying.  And ultimately, you can always know that even though I am not always there, or even though it may seem like sometimes I am choosing others, I would ALWAYS choose you.

You are a special boy.  You at 7 are exactly what I always hoped and prayed for in a 7 year old child.  You make me so incredibly proud.

Love you to the moon & back x7,

Mama
xoxo