This blog has definitely taken a back seat to life over the past 6 months or so which has seen me going back to work, Jason staying home with the kids all summer and life moving as quickly as ever.
I have thought about writing how I am doing with it all numerous times, but until today, didn't feel like I had all that much to say. Yes, the past 4 months of working full time have been trying on me, on the kids and on Jason. I have missed a few "firsts" here and there (Colin's first movie), but also caught a few that just happened to fall on the weekend (Addy's first steps). I, at times, have felt like a failing parent, a crappy wife and an absent homemaker. I have cried at my desk at work, cried in the car both to, and from work, and cried in Jason's arms on more than one occasion. For a long time, I couldn't quite pinpoint the source of my tears but recently have finally been able to put my emotions and heart throbbing ache into words - I just want to take care of my family, and sometimes I don't feel like I am doing a very good job. There are days where I feel like I am being pulled in a million different directions and as a result, nothing and nobody gets anything quality out of me. I want to feel like I can do everything myself and my irrational, emotional self doesn't want to have to ask for help.
Yes, there are rough days. Days where Colin's "I don't want you to go to work, I want you to stay with me" daily morning speech wrench my heart so tight that I ache for hours. That being said, for the most part, the vast majority, I think we are all doing pretty well. The kids have had the opportunity to spend 2 months with their Dad - something that most kids never get the chance to do. Even better, they got to spend time with an awesome Dad. A Dad took them super fun places, plays puzzles and cars and reads books to their hearts content. I have been able to rejoin the working world then been able to rejoin my loving family over dinner and playtime before bed. I have still found some time to do the things I enjoy like baking, my project life and outings with the kids. All in all, we are holding it together pretty well.
After next week, the summers last, our world will be shook up again with Jason returning to work, starting his masters and coaching responsibilities, my work travel resuming and university courses I have registered for starting, the kids back at daycare and Colin starting swimming and skating lessons. I worry about Addy a little as she has developed a bit of a difficulty with new people over the past two months since she was at daycare and I anticipate that the first couple weeks will include tough morning goodbyes. I am happy that I now have the experience to know that it will not last forever and that soon, our routine will calm.
Even though our lives are sometimes upside down, and the days seem impossibly long and short all at the same time, I can truly say that I have nothing to complain about. We all love each other, we have an amazing support system and are blessed beyond belief. Life is crazy but life is good and although there are moments that seem to implode it all, when the dust settles, the goodness is all that remains. And for that, I am truly grateful.
Thank you summer - you were a gem. Hello fall, please take it easy on us.
Saturday, August 24, 2013
Tuesday, July 9, 2013
Lucky.
Our little Canada Day tradition of heading off to Bird Lake has come and gone for another year and it delivered on everything it always promises to do. The weather was perfect, the kids were happy, and the food was delicious. And as always, the time spent with friends was just what I needed to bounce out of my work funk I found myself in lately.
The weekend, in pictures.
To friends, to summer and to living our lives intwined together. We are the lucky ones.
The weekend, in pictures.
To friends, to summer and to living our lives intwined together. We are the lucky ones.
Friday, May 31, 2013
Just like that.
The speed at which time flies is something that constantly amazes me. I know people say this all the time, especially when it comes to their kids, but I can hardly believe that Addy is one entire year old. A few weeks ago (clearly I am a little late on the blog entry) we all gathered to celebrate.
When thinking of a theme for her party, polka dots was one of the first things that came to mind. To me they were cute, fun, and girly...3 things that perfectly describe Addy. As a bonus, polka dot party supplies are quite easy to find!
Addy's cake was a labour of love and patience. Love because it was quite time consuming and patience because I had Colin repeating "Can I have some please?" the ENTIRE time I was icing it.
Polka dot plates and napkins...
Polka dot banner on a finished fireplace (another blog to come with details on that one)...
Polka dot goody bags for the younger guests...
Polka dot balloons...
And the polka dot girl herself, complete with the smallest clip that has ever been created in her hair.
She is getting better on her feet every day, and will stand unassisted for lengthy periods of time now.
Some of the kids...
Presents! This Hello Kitty doll was given to Addy when she was about 2 weeks old at a wedding shower we attended for a family member. Lily was coveting the doll so I asked her then if she would take care of it until Addy was old enough to play with it herself. Lily did just that, for almost a full year and reminded her mother of this fact before they left for the party and wanted to give it back to Addy as part of her birthday present. Is she not just the sweetest cousin?
Daintily eating her cake.
Something I am trying to get better at is taking pictures of myself with the kids. I really want to start documenting things better and have me included. Glad we got one shot at least!
The party was great, I think everyone had a great time and Addy was immensely blessed with many fun toys and beautiful clothing. Like I have said in the past, the party was just another great reminder of the amazing friends and family our kids have been blessed with.
On to year two! Happy Birthday, Missy!
When thinking of a theme for her party, polka dots was one of the first things that came to mind. To me they were cute, fun, and girly...3 things that perfectly describe Addy. As a bonus, polka dot party supplies are quite easy to find!
Addy's cake was a labour of love and patience. Love because it was quite time consuming and patience because I had Colin repeating "Can I have some please?" the ENTIRE time I was icing it.
Polka dot plates and napkins...
Polka dot banner on a finished fireplace (another blog to come with details on that one)...
Polka dot goody bags for the younger guests...
Polka dot balloons...
And the polka dot girl herself, complete with the smallest clip that has ever been created in her hair.
She is getting better on her feet every day, and will stand unassisted for lengthy periods of time now.
Some of the kids...
Presents! This Hello Kitty doll was given to Addy when she was about 2 weeks old at a wedding shower we attended for a family member. Lily was coveting the doll so I asked her then if she would take care of it until Addy was old enough to play with it herself. Lily did just that, for almost a full year and reminded her mother of this fact before they left for the party and wanted to give it back to Addy as part of her birthday present. Is she not just the sweetest cousin?
Daintily eating her cake.
Something I am trying to get better at is taking pictures of myself with the kids. I really want to start documenting things better and have me included. Glad we got one shot at least!
The party was great, I think everyone had a great time and Addy was immensely blessed with many fun toys and beautiful clothing. Like I have said in the past, the party was just another great reminder of the amazing friends and family our kids have been blessed with.
On to year two! Happy Birthday, Missy!
Thursday, May 16, 2013
One Year.
Dear Addy,
Today, you turn exactly one year old. A year ago today I woke up after another restless night of false labour and braxton hicks and most definitely did not think you were coming anytime soon. You seemed to like it just where you were and did not seem to be in any rush. I spent the day soaking in your brother and our simple life of morning walks, throwing rocks into the water at the park and leisurely strolls through the grocery store. After a long walk with your Grandparents, your brother and I headed home to meet your Dad and Nana and Poppa at home for supper. Mid-way through the meal was when I thought you might be near. Half an hour later I was sure.
The past year has been fun, but I would be lying if I said it didn't come with its challenges. I have never hidden from anyone that the newborn and super-baby stages are not my favorite. I am not one of those people that soaks in a newborn and swoons and awes at their sight. Don't get me wrong, I loved your small-ness, and how unbelievably cute your tiny hands and feet were, but the work associated with a newborn is something that can sometimes overshadow even the deepest of finger dimples. Oh, the work. The work is exhausting, even though you, my sweet girl, were actually fairly easy to figure out. Getting nursing and sleeping established, fitting your needs into our daily lives, and dealing with a less than impressed toddler at times definitely created some challenging moments. That being said, at the end of it all, your warmth and your joy are all I remember.
A few weeks ago, the weather finally turned and the sun started to shine. Your room, since it faces west becomes quite warm in the afternoon even with the curtains drawn. I went to get you from your afternoon nap and as I was taking off your sleep sack and basking in the joy that is you after a nap, I smelled a wonderful smell I had totally forgotten about. The only way I can describe it is summer baby. It is the smell of a baby after a nap in a warm room, where the bottom of their hair curls with sweat and the lotion on their skin is as fragrant as ever. Combine that with a bit of diaper smell (which sounds gross but it isn't, I swear) and you have what is known as summer baby. The second I smelt it I was transported back in time to the 1st summer we shared with your brother and how I would sink my nose into his neck after his naps and soak in the smell. On this day, I did the same and you laughed and laughed at the feeling of my face, buried in your neck. Simultaneously to the smell came the overwhelming reminder that with you, my sweet girl, the best is yet to come. You have entered the baby/toddler stage and I adore it. I love how much you talk now - you cannot sneak up on anyone. You come barreling into a room and command the attention of everyone with your crazy looking crawl and your yells, squawks and squeals. You smile for everyone - every where we are people constantly stop to love on you as your smile and your joy are truly contagious. In the past month or so you have developed quite the temper and let everyone know when you are not happy. Your brother is quickly figuring out that he can't get away with taking a toy from you as easily as he could in the past. You are most certainly assertive when it comes to letting us know when you're not happy. I suppose that's a good thing since your Grandpa always says "we need more assertive young women in this society". Hopefully that trait will continue to grow in you. It will definitely come in handy in the future.
You were never a crier, didn't really even shed a single tear until you became mobile. And now, oh my, the tears. The deadly silence before the wailing. Because you hit your head again, or you're stuck, or Colin has taken your toy, or we won't let you chew on Jake's ear. And boy, do you play it up. Like every incident is the end of the world. And then, I give you your baby or your blanket, or both, and instantly you stop and snuggle into them and the world, to you, is perfect again. I have never experienced a child be as comforted by an object as you are by those two things. I will keep track of them like a hawk as I do not even want to know what a day would be like without them.
About 3 weeks ago, I went back to work and in a way, I lost a bit of you. Today, sitting here and writing this letter to you, I feel like I don't know you as well as I used to. I am not totally sure what time you have been napping, or what foods you have been trying during the day. It is so very hard for me to accept that you are now somewhat independent from me. It's a catch 22 as ultimately, growing independence is something that I look so forward to with both you and your brother, but I am not totally sure I was quite ready for it yet with you. I am going to try hard to soak our long weekends in and use your birthday weekend where we don't have much going on to reconnect with you. I want to smell your summer baby smell, kiss you soft cheeks and celebrate you and your One-ness.
Meeting you on that warm, dark May night was something I will never forget. You were placed in my arms and you looked up at me with your dark blue eyes and instantly I knew that you were going to make my life so much better. You have filled me right up and I now see life through the magic of your eyes. The world has more colour because you are in it, music is a bit louder because you a hearing it, everything is funnier because you are laughing at it.
From day one, you have been the sweetest of the sweet. The loveliest little girl and full of light and love. I love you to the moon and back, to forever and always, and more than I could even explain or you could ever understand. You are my bestest girl and I'm so happy you're mine.
Love you,
Mama
xoxo
Today, you turn exactly one year old. A year ago today I woke up after another restless night of false labour and braxton hicks and most definitely did not think you were coming anytime soon. You seemed to like it just where you were and did not seem to be in any rush. I spent the day soaking in your brother and our simple life of morning walks, throwing rocks into the water at the park and leisurely strolls through the grocery store. After a long walk with your Grandparents, your brother and I headed home to meet your Dad and Nana and Poppa at home for supper. Mid-way through the meal was when I thought you might be near. Half an hour later I was sure.
The past year has been fun, but I would be lying if I said it didn't come with its challenges. I have never hidden from anyone that the newborn and super-baby stages are not my favorite. I am not one of those people that soaks in a newborn and swoons and awes at their sight. Don't get me wrong, I loved your small-ness, and how unbelievably cute your tiny hands and feet were, but the work associated with a newborn is something that can sometimes overshadow even the deepest of finger dimples. Oh, the work. The work is exhausting, even though you, my sweet girl, were actually fairly easy to figure out. Getting nursing and sleeping established, fitting your needs into our daily lives, and dealing with a less than impressed toddler at times definitely created some challenging moments. That being said, at the end of it all, your warmth and your joy are all I remember.
A few weeks ago, the weather finally turned and the sun started to shine. Your room, since it faces west becomes quite warm in the afternoon even with the curtains drawn. I went to get you from your afternoon nap and as I was taking off your sleep sack and basking in the joy that is you after a nap, I smelled a wonderful smell I had totally forgotten about. The only way I can describe it is summer baby. It is the smell of a baby after a nap in a warm room, where the bottom of their hair curls with sweat and the lotion on their skin is as fragrant as ever. Combine that with a bit of diaper smell (which sounds gross but it isn't, I swear) and you have what is known as summer baby. The second I smelt it I was transported back in time to the 1st summer we shared with your brother and how I would sink my nose into his neck after his naps and soak in the smell. On this day, I did the same and you laughed and laughed at the feeling of my face, buried in your neck. Simultaneously to the smell came the overwhelming reminder that with you, my sweet girl, the best is yet to come. You have entered the baby/toddler stage and I adore it. I love how much you talk now - you cannot sneak up on anyone. You come barreling into a room and command the attention of everyone with your crazy looking crawl and your yells, squawks and squeals. You smile for everyone - every where we are people constantly stop to love on you as your smile and your joy are truly contagious. In the past month or so you have developed quite the temper and let everyone know when you are not happy. Your brother is quickly figuring out that he can't get away with taking a toy from you as easily as he could in the past. You are most certainly assertive when it comes to letting us know when you're not happy. I suppose that's a good thing since your Grandpa always says "we need more assertive young women in this society". Hopefully that trait will continue to grow in you. It will definitely come in handy in the future.
You were never a crier, didn't really even shed a single tear until you became mobile. And now, oh my, the tears. The deadly silence before the wailing. Because you hit your head again, or you're stuck, or Colin has taken your toy, or we won't let you chew on Jake's ear. And boy, do you play it up. Like every incident is the end of the world. And then, I give you your baby or your blanket, or both, and instantly you stop and snuggle into them and the world, to you, is perfect again. I have never experienced a child be as comforted by an object as you are by those two things. I will keep track of them like a hawk as I do not even want to know what a day would be like without them.
About 3 weeks ago, I went back to work and in a way, I lost a bit of you. Today, sitting here and writing this letter to you, I feel like I don't know you as well as I used to. I am not totally sure what time you have been napping, or what foods you have been trying during the day. It is so very hard for me to accept that you are now somewhat independent from me. It's a catch 22 as ultimately, growing independence is something that I look so forward to with both you and your brother, but I am not totally sure I was quite ready for it yet with you. I am going to try hard to soak our long weekends in and use your birthday weekend where we don't have much going on to reconnect with you. I want to smell your summer baby smell, kiss you soft cheeks and celebrate you and your One-ness.
Meeting you on that warm, dark May night was something I will never forget. You were placed in my arms and you looked up at me with your dark blue eyes and instantly I knew that you were going to make my life so much better. You have filled me right up and I now see life through the magic of your eyes. The world has more colour because you are in it, music is a bit louder because you a hearing it, everything is funnier because you are laughing at it.
From day one, you have been the sweetest of the sweet. The loveliest little girl and full of light and love. I love you to the moon and back, to forever and always, and more than I could even explain or you could ever understand. You are my bestest girl and I'm so happy you're mine.
Love you,
Mama
xoxo
Thursday, April 25, 2013
The Heave/Drag
Well...it finally happened. She moved. We have been waiting for Addy to figure out how to get around for a few months now and just a few days ago she either developed the coordination, or something motivated her enough to actually make the first move. Let me warn you before you watch this video, it's not pretty. Her "crawl" is somewhat of a heave/drag and is anything but graceful. Regardless, it does the trick.
Just as it was when Colin made his first moves, things will never quite be the same around here. The gate to the basement now has to be closed at all times and the night lights I have throughout the house will need to be removed for the time being (something she has already discovered and ripped out a few times). Unlike when Colin started to move though, this time around all our cupboard doors are in place and most everything breakable in our house is behind a door and out of reach. The main issue that we now face is the dreaded day where we have forever switched from parents to referees. It took Addy about half a day of crawling before she realized that she could now ruin her brothers life at any moment of her choosing. You see, one of Colin's favorite things to do is line toys us in a line. He lines trains, stuffed animals, cars, blocks, puzzles, anything he can find, all into lines. This activity does not bode well for a house that now has a baby barrelling through it at all times of the day. Last night, after breaking up their first real fight (Colin had his trains lined up and Addy was heaving herself all over them), I realized that they both have some serious learning to do. Addy is going to have to learn limitations and to respect other people's things. She is going to have to learn that everything cannot be hers whenever she chooses and will definitely need to start to understand the word no, something that I have not had to tell her much of all so far. Colin is going to have a learn a heck of a lot more patience, and understand that Addy is a baby and doesn't know better sometimes. Bottom line is that they both are in for some lessons and I am sure that their relationship, as they know it up to this point, will never be the same. Wish us luck!
After 11 months and countless weeks of trying, behold, the "crawl"...
Just as it was when Colin made his first moves, things will never quite be the same around here. The gate to the basement now has to be closed at all times and the night lights I have throughout the house will need to be removed for the time being (something she has already discovered and ripped out a few times). Unlike when Colin started to move though, this time around all our cupboard doors are in place and most everything breakable in our house is behind a door and out of reach. The main issue that we now face is the dreaded day where we have forever switched from parents to referees. It took Addy about half a day of crawling before she realized that she could now ruin her brothers life at any moment of her choosing. You see, one of Colin's favorite things to do is line toys us in a line. He lines trains, stuffed animals, cars, blocks, puzzles, anything he can find, all into lines. This activity does not bode well for a house that now has a baby barrelling through it at all times of the day. Last night, after breaking up their first real fight (Colin had his trains lined up and Addy was heaving herself all over them), I realized that they both have some serious learning to do. Addy is going to have to learn limitations and to respect other people's things. She is going to have to learn that everything cannot be hers whenever she chooses and will definitely need to start to understand the word no, something that I have not had to tell her much of all so far. Colin is going to have a learn a heck of a lot more patience, and understand that Addy is a baby and doesn't know better sometimes. Bottom line is that they both are in for some lessons and I am sure that their relationship, as they know it up to this point, will never be the same. Wish us luck!
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
11 Months.
Dear Addy,
Today, my sweet girl, you turn 11 months old. This past month has been a lot of the same around here and you are currently smiling and laughing your way into the end of your first year with us.
This past month you have gotten nowhere with your crawling, walking, standing - in general, you are still a stationary little person. You have managed to shimmy you way from place to place on occasion, but for the most past, your process goes something like this:
Step 1 - sit on ground and play for awhile
Step 2 - put both hands on floor and rock on back leg for 5-10 minutes
Step 3 - finally fall/move onto stomach
Step 4 - cry
Step 5 - stay on stomach crying/whining until picked up or decide to just start playing again
I was sure that when I wrote your 10 month letter I would, by now, be writing about how you are zipping all over the place. At one point, I was convinced that you would start crawling while I was in Mexico, over 6 weeks ago now, but alas, you are still quite happy, for the most part, to stay where you are. Your Auntie Evelyn pointed out the other day that perhaps this means that you are simply patient and are waiting until you feel ready to perfect this new skill in order to avoid the days or weeks of failure. Man, I sure hope so. If there is something that I struggle with, it is patience. It has always been an issue of mine and continues to be something I need to actively work on. I am constantly training your brother in this area as well, with not much success up to this point. If this is a skill that you are innately blessed with, maybe you can teach us both?
Watching you lately, I can tell that you are growing somewhat frustrated in the limitations that your young age predisposes you to. There are times that your brother runs away from you and I can tell that with every ounce of your being, you want SO badly to follow him. There are certain toys that you just can't work and certain foods that you have trouble picking up. You have started to want to feed yourself with a spoon or fork and get extremely frustrated with my reluctance to give in. Watching you get upset and frustrated in these situations makes me wonder how you will deal with tough times through your adolescents and adulthood. If there is something that I have learnt in life, it is that frustration can so easily and quickly make one feel overwhelmed. Some of my earliest memories of feeling overwhelmed were when I started to have to write exams in junior high. I was a fairly strong student, but test writing was always a challenge for me. So, having 5 or 6 major tests in a week or less added up to a whole lot of stress, frustration and an overall overwhelming feeling of wanting to crawl into bed, get under the covers, and never get out. It was my Mom who first introduced me to some strategies of how to deal with all these feelings. This is where lists entered my life. Your Grandma showed me how making a list and writing down each and every task to accomplish can quickly make even the most frustrating situations seem manageable. To this day, lists are a part of my everyday life. I make more lists that humanely necessary. I sometimes add items to my list that I have already completed just to have the chance to cross something else off. Crossing something off a list is bliss. The gift your Grandma gave me has allowed me to make it through some of the most stressful and overwhelming times of my life and has ensured that nothing got lost in the shuffle. If I can pass this along to you my sweet girl, I most certainly will. Thankfully, if I was making a list for you these days it would simply read sleep, eat, be happy. As every baby should, these are truly the only things you need to worry your pretty little self about. We'll save the bigger issues for another time.
Spring is taking its sweet time joining us this year so we are currently still in winter coats, coats and toques. I retired mine, your Dad's and your brothers major winter gear to the basement but feel that you still need the bundle when we head out into the cold. I am dreaming of warmer temperatures and dry ground and grass so that we can get outside more and you can experience your first true summer since you pretty much slept your way through the last.
My sweet girl, you are a dream. You are so easy and so happy and have become a wonderfully content, hilarious, gorgeous little girl. You don't leave much up for debate and very clearly express your feelings. I thank you for taking the guessing game out of our every day life and letting us settle in to getting to know you and ultimately figure you out. In a few weeks, I am going to be going back to work and I know, you are not going to like it. Lately when I return after a few hours away from you, you become affixed to me for as long as you can hold on. Your eyes lock on me and if I ever leave your sight for a moment, even just to go into another room, you express your displeasure. It is almost as if you don't want to lose me again. I promise you, my girl, I promise with all my heart and all my being, that every time I leave, I will ALWAYS come back. Please remember that in the next few weeks when our daily routine is thrown on its back and flipped upside down. In a blink of an eye, everything will feel normal again once things settle down - I swear. I will always come back. I will always come back. I will always come back.
To you, my sweet child, in this last month of your first year of life, I ask for your patience and your understanding. It's going to be a month full of change and a month full of adjustments. To help you through it, I have made you a list. This list is to be refereed to whenever the day seems overwhelming, when exhaustion has set in, and when you are wishing for a quiet moment alone together - just us, and your rocking chair. It goes like this:
1. Smile.
2. Remember that above all, I love you and carry you with me all day long. In my heart, in my soul, in my everything.
3. Repeat.
Love you to forever and always,
Mama
xoxo
Today, my sweet girl, you turn 11 months old. This past month has been a lot of the same around here and you are currently smiling and laughing your way into the end of your first year with us.
This past month you have gotten nowhere with your crawling, walking, standing - in general, you are still a stationary little person. You have managed to shimmy you way from place to place on occasion, but for the most past, your process goes something like this:
Step 1 - sit on ground and play for awhile
Step 2 - put both hands on floor and rock on back leg for 5-10 minutes
Step 3 - finally fall/move onto stomach
Step 4 - cry
Step 5 - stay on stomach crying/whining until picked up or decide to just start playing again
I was sure that when I wrote your 10 month letter I would, by now, be writing about how you are zipping all over the place. At one point, I was convinced that you would start crawling while I was in Mexico, over 6 weeks ago now, but alas, you are still quite happy, for the most part, to stay where you are. Your Auntie Evelyn pointed out the other day that perhaps this means that you are simply patient and are waiting until you feel ready to perfect this new skill in order to avoid the days or weeks of failure. Man, I sure hope so. If there is something that I struggle with, it is patience. It has always been an issue of mine and continues to be something I need to actively work on. I am constantly training your brother in this area as well, with not much success up to this point. If this is a skill that you are innately blessed with, maybe you can teach us both?
Watching you lately, I can tell that you are growing somewhat frustrated in the limitations that your young age predisposes you to. There are times that your brother runs away from you and I can tell that with every ounce of your being, you want SO badly to follow him. There are certain toys that you just can't work and certain foods that you have trouble picking up. You have started to want to feed yourself with a spoon or fork and get extremely frustrated with my reluctance to give in. Watching you get upset and frustrated in these situations makes me wonder how you will deal with tough times through your adolescents and adulthood. If there is something that I have learnt in life, it is that frustration can so easily and quickly make one feel overwhelmed. Some of my earliest memories of feeling overwhelmed were when I started to have to write exams in junior high. I was a fairly strong student, but test writing was always a challenge for me. So, having 5 or 6 major tests in a week or less added up to a whole lot of stress, frustration and an overall overwhelming feeling of wanting to crawl into bed, get under the covers, and never get out. It was my Mom who first introduced me to some strategies of how to deal with all these feelings. This is where lists entered my life. Your Grandma showed me how making a list and writing down each and every task to accomplish can quickly make even the most frustrating situations seem manageable. To this day, lists are a part of my everyday life. I make more lists that humanely necessary. I sometimes add items to my list that I have already completed just to have the chance to cross something else off. Crossing something off a list is bliss. The gift your Grandma gave me has allowed me to make it through some of the most stressful and overwhelming times of my life and has ensured that nothing got lost in the shuffle. If I can pass this along to you my sweet girl, I most certainly will. Thankfully, if I was making a list for you these days it would simply read sleep, eat, be happy. As every baby should, these are truly the only things you need to worry your pretty little self about. We'll save the bigger issues for another time.
Spring is taking its sweet time joining us this year so we are currently still in winter coats, coats and toques. I retired mine, your Dad's and your brothers major winter gear to the basement but feel that you still need the bundle when we head out into the cold. I am dreaming of warmer temperatures and dry ground and grass so that we can get outside more and you can experience your first true summer since you pretty much slept your way through the last.
My sweet girl, you are a dream. You are so easy and so happy and have become a wonderfully content, hilarious, gorgeous little girl. You don't leave much up for debate and very clearly express your feelings. I thank you for taking the guessing game out of our every day life and letting us settle in to getting to know you and ultimately figure you out. In a few weeks, I am going to be going back to work and I know, you are not going to like it. Lately when I return after a few hours away from you, you become affixed to me for as long as you can hold on. Your eyes lock on me and if I ever leave your sight for a moment, even just to go into another room, you express your displeasure. It is almost as if you don't want to lose me again. I promise you, my girl, I promise with all my heart and all my being, that every time I leave, I will ALWAYS come back. Please remember that in the next few weeks when our daily routine is thrown on its back and flipped upside down. In a blink of an eye, everything will feel normal again once things settle down - I swear. I will always come back. I will always come back. I will always come back.
To you, my sweet child, in this last month of your first year of life, I ask for your patience and your understanding. It's going to be a month full of change and a month full of adjustments. To help you through it, I have made you a list. This list is to be refereed to whenever the day seems overwhelming, when exhaustion has set in, and when you are wishing for a quiet moment alone together - just us, and your rocking chair. It goes like this:
1. Smile.
2. Remember that above all, I love you and carry you with me all day long. In my heart, in my soul, in my everything.
3. Repeat.
Love you to forever and always,
Mama
xoxo
Monday, March 18, 2013
10 Months.
Dear Addy,
A few days ago, you turned 10 months old. This past month you have truly transitioned for baby to the beginning glimpses of your toddlerhood. You can now stay awake for longer stretches and can handle being tired or hungry without fully freaking out. You love to sit or stand and play with anything you can get your hands on. You love to watch your brother play trains and love to interact with people.
This past month, I went away for a whole week of your life, to Auntie Laura and Uncle Dave's wedding in Mexico. Although I missed you terribly, I definitely enjoyed the break and the rest and relaxation that comes from being away from kids, and being at an all inclusive resort. I loved thinking of you while I was away, and wondering and dreaming about what you were up to. I hoped that you were taking it easy on your Dad and Grandparents and according to their reports, you did just that. When I got home and walked up to you at the airport, I could tell you didn't fully remember me right away. You didn't cry, you just sort of looked at me with a confused eye and small smile. It wasn't until you heard my voice and felt my touch that I think you full absorbed who I was.
If I didn't love you before (and I assure you that I very much did), your smile and laugh when you put two and two together and remembered me made me fall that much deeper. I kissed you and hugged you and absorbed your giggles and your warmth, more than I have in months. It was just what I needed. If I wasn't already floating with joy, the next sound out of your mouth will ring through my memory for years. As if you knew it was what I needed, your "mamamamamamama" babble made me swoon. I am not ignorant enough to think that you said that to me, or know that that is my name, however I will allow myself, just for a moment, to believe that you do as I have never heard you say it before.
Your brother was around your age when we started working on baby sign language with him. Although we only taught him the signs for please, thank you, more, and all done, it really helped him express himself and also started training him to have good manners. Once he could actually say the words, we found he already had good habits already engrained. I suppose it is now your turn, my lady. Although I love the fact that you are growing up, becoming more independent from me, and developing your own personality, the fact that we are now entering the actual parenting stage with you changes things. For the first 8-10 months of so, we were simply trying to keep you alive and happy. Now, along with those goals, we have to add many, many more to the equation to what at the end of day, equals a happy, polite and fun child. To be honest, it makes me tired just thinking about it. Again, I am reminded of the quote I read the other day - nobody said it would be easy, they said it would be worth it. Looking back on some of the tougher times we have had with your brother (and we are by no means done with them), times where he didn't want to listen, constantly pushed limits, or freaked out for no reason multiple times a day, I see the true testimony of why it pays off to work with your kids from a young age. Kids that don't listen to their parents at 2 years of age, are not going to be listening when they are 5, 10, or 15 either. Although we are just entering the discipline and training stage with you, I know that just like with any baby or child, there are going to be rocky days. Add in the fact that you are in fact female, and predisposed to heightened emotions will, I'm sure, add another element to the daily grind. Please, my sweet, sweet girl, work with me and not against me for the next few years. I promise that although I may seem unreasonable at times, I am simply trying to ensure that you become the little person that I am so sure you can be. You are such a happy girl and I know that there are so many amazing things in store for you. I promise that I will do my best to help you find each and every one.
Oh my sweet girl, you are undeniably awesome. You are loved and adored by so many and make the world a sweeter place with your smile and your laugh. You are a dream come true and a true beauty. I love you more every day. I so look forward to watching you continue to grow, planing your very BIG 1st birthday party, and lazing a summer away with you.
Love you to forever and always x10.
Love,
Mama
xoxo
A few days ago, you turned 10 months old. This past month you have truly transitioned for baby to the beginning glimpses of your toddlerhood. You can now stay awake for longer stretches and can handle being tired or hungry without fully freaking out. You love to sit or stand and play with anything you can get your hands on. You love to watch your brother play trains and love to interact with people.
This past month, I went away for a whole week of your life, to Auntie Laura and Uncle Dave's wedding in Mexico. Although I missed you terribly, I definitely enjoyed the break and the rest and relaxation that comes from being away from kids, and being at an all inclusive resort. I loved thinking of you while I was away, and wondering and dreaming about what you were up to. I hoped that you were taking it easy on your Dad and Grandparents and according to their reports, you did just that. When I got home and walked up to you at the airport, I could tell you didn't fully remember me right away. You didn't cry, you just sort of looked at me with a confused eye and small smile. It wasn't until you heard my voice and felt my touch that I think you full absorbed who I was.
If I didn't love you before (and I assure you that I very much did), your smile and laugh when you put two and two together and remembered me made me fall that much deeper. I kissed you and hugged you and absorbed your giggles and your warmth, more than I have in months. It was just what I needed. If I wasn't already floating with joy, the next sound out of your mouth will ring through my memory for years. As if you knew it was what I needed, your "mamamamamamama" babble made me swoon. I am not ignorant enough to think that you said that to me, or know that that is my name, however I will allow myself, just for a moment, to believe that you do as I have never heard you say it before.
Your brother was around your age when we started working on baby sign language with him. Although we only taught him the signs for please, thank you, more, and all done, it really helped him express himself and also started training him to have good manners. Once he could actually say the words, we found he already had good habits already engrained. I suppose it is now your turn, my lady. Although I love the fact that you are growing up, becoming more independent from me, and developing your own personality, the fact that we are now entering the actual parenting stage with you changes things. For the first 8-10 months of so, we were simply trying to keep you alive and happy. Now, along with those goals, we have to add many, many more to the equation to what at the end of day, equals a happy, polite and fun child. To be honest, it makes me tired just thinking about it. Again, I am reminded of the quote I read the other day - nobody said it would be easy, they said it would be worth it. Looking back on some of the tougher times we have had with your brother (and we are by no means done with them), times where he didn't want to listen, constantly pushed limits, or freaked out for no reason multiple times a day, I see the true testimony of why it pays off to work with your kids from a young age. Kids that don't listen to their parents at 2 years of age, are not going to be listening when they are 5, 10, or 15 either. Although we are just entering the discipline and training stage with you, I know that just like with any baby or child, there are going to be rocky days. Add in the fact that you are in fact female, and predisposed to heightened emotions will, I'm sure, add another element to the daily grind. Please, my sweet, sweet girl, work with me and not against me for the next few years. I promise that although I may seem unreasonable at times, I am simply trying to ensure that you become the little person that I am so sure you can be. You are such a happy girl and I know that there are so many amazing things in store for you. I promise that I will do my best to help you find each and every one.
Oh my sweet girl, you are undeniably awesome. You are loved and adored by so many and make the world a sweeter place with your smile and your laugh. You are a dream come true and a true beauty. I love you more every day. I so look forward to watching you continue to grow, planing your very BIG 1st birthday party, and lazing a summer away with you.
Love you to forever and always x10.
Love,
Mama
xoxo
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