A number of weeks ago, I wrote a blog about the weight loss and fitness goals I had for myself moving forward. That was six weeks ago and I thought it was time for a check in.
The past six weeks have been a lesson in patience, endurance, commitment and strength, but I am happy to report that I am feeling great and seeing results. I have lost 7 pounds in the last six weeks but more importantly, feel like myself again. It is amazing how even just starting and sticking with something for this short a time has made me come alive and has motivated me to keep going.
I cannot say enough about the "Back to run" program that I have followed thus far. My neighbour and friend got it from a athletic therapist and it is basically a slow and steady introduction back into running by combining walking and running at intervals. As the runs and weeks progress, you slowly decrease the amount you're walking and increase the amount you're running. It took me 4 weeks to go from walking for 4 minutes, running for 1 minute (for 30 minutes total), to now running for 30 minutes with no walking plus interval speed training. There is absolutely no way I would have stuck with things and increased my endurance to what it is today had I not started slowly and gradually increased my runs. I was able to complete every workout without pain in my joints, something I have never been able to do before as nagging past injuries usually surface very quickly. I now feel like I can play around with my runs, completing quick speed interval training and also gradually increase my long runs. I am going to continue with this plan until January when I will start following a specific half marathon training schedule as I plan to complete at least one race this spring.
The kids have really been great through this new routine of getting up and getting to the gym. Colin has enjoyed multiple swims with his grandparents as well as loves the day care room. Addy has been great as well and really does put her needs on hold for mine tolerating being awake for much longer than normal. I also know that it will only get easier as she grows and is able to stay awake for longer periods of time.
Like I said before, starting working out again has really been a fantastic and much needed addition to my routine. I really do feel like myself again. My clothes fit better and I actually enjoy getting dressed in things other than yoga pants. I feel like I have more energy for the kids and for life in general.
Ironically while at the Y one day, I saw this commercial for the Good Life Fitness Centre. Although it is a man in the commercial and shocker, I am not a man, the message really resonated with me. Clearly I am not going to the Olympics anytime soon and will most likely not compete in sports ever again except for the odd senior women's basketball game. For so long, the desire to be the best and to compete was my motivation to workout and push myself physically. Now that that is gone and in the past, I need to find new reasons to stay motivated and to keep on top of things. This commercial, I think, does a great job of naming some perfect reasons. For lack of a better term, it's about living the good life.
I'm so glad to be back.
Monday, October 22, 2012
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
The Bug.
I have got the bug again. The crafting bug.
It surprises me just how much I love crafting and making decor for our home. It really isn't something I anticipated being any good at since I do not think I am particularly creative. That being said, I think when I felt this way I was forgetting about a little friend called the internet. The web is full of ideas, tutorials, step by step guides and blogs that have offered me a ton of inspiration and the confidence that I too can have a house filled of one of a kind items. Here are a few I have completed over the past month or so...
These are yarn letters that I made for the kids doors. I cup the shape out of styrofoam we had that came in the packaging for Colin's train set. I then simply wrapped the yarn around and around until I was happy with the coverage. Some hot glue was necessary at the end and to affix the end of the yarn but other than there were very few materials that went into this project. All in all, it took me about an hour to do both letters. I really like the way they turned out. I also discovered 3M velcro circles and used those to hang them on their doors. That way they can be moved if we ever have any room swapping and it also satisfies Jason's desire to leave our walls and doors hole free.
A few months ago or so, my sister commented that she was heading over to our Aunt and Uncle's house to get acorns. They live on South Dr in Fort Garry and their promise rang true with my sister leaving with a gigantic bowl. When she made herself a wreath, I knew I wanted to as well. I chose to make a smaller wreath so that it would hang fully in the window on our door. I used a styrofoam wreath I had left over from another project and after wrapping it with felt so that the green colour of the wreath didn't show through, I started gluing. And then I glued some more, and more, and more. And then I thought I was done and hung it only to have it fall down a few hours later and have 50% of the acorns falls off. So then I glued some more. And bought a stronger 3M hook to hang it from. And then I hung it again, and that is where it has been ever since. In total, I used 2 full packages of hot glue for this project as every acorn needed to be glued not only to one other acorn, but to any acorn it touched as well. It made for a lot of gluing. The burlap I used is actually meant to be a garland, however I loved how wide and ribbon-like it became when I used it here.
This piece of art was created after my friend Larissa did the same. She used this tutorial and modified it to suit her needs so I did the same. I purchased the canvas at my neighbours garage sale for $1 and after it was primed, I drew the shapes I wanted with a pencil and then filled them in on top with puff paint. After it was very dry, I peeled off a few leaves that I didn't care for and re-did things until I liked how it all looked and came together. Then, I painted the entire thing over with paint we had downstairs (it's actually the same colour we painted the mudroom). So far, this picture is living on top of the built in on one side of our fireplace but it may move depending on what happens with that area in the next few months as it is slated to have cupboard doors, wood counters, and stone and a mantel installed soon-ish. I am super happy with the way it turned out and think it will have a place in our home for many years to come.
Lastly, I made this framed piece for Addy's room. I have been wanting to buy a heart punch for a long time and was just waiting for the right Micheal's coupon to do so. It finally came and I finally got one! These hearts were affixed to the craft paper using ZOTS that I had left over from another project and then framed in a IKEA white frame. The frame has no glass due to an accident a few years ago, but I kind of like exposing this anyways. It definitely works in Addy's room and now I am brainstorming more ways of how I can use my new punch.
Now that Christmas is approaching, I am busy dreaming of all the new decorations and crafts I can make to decorate our home for the holidays. A few years ago I tried my hand at making us all stockings, but they were a definite flop. I am thinking they might be do for a redo, especially since we have another family member who needs one.
As much as I look forward to working again sometime next year, I do very much enjoy the fact that on maternity leave I have the time to complete projects such as these. I love the way each of these things look in the house and add interest and colour to our walls and doors. I have many more on my mind and am excited to tackle them all including a very exciting crafty endeavour where I plan to document our lives every step of the way.
It surprises me just how much I love crafting and making decor for our home. It really isn't something I anticipated being any good at since I do not think I am particularly creative. That being said, I think when I felt this way I was forgetting about a little friend called the internet. The web is full of ideas, tutorials, step by step guides and blogs that have offered me a ton of inspiration and the confidence that I too can have a house filled of one of a kind items. Here are a few I have completed over the past month or so...
These are yarn letters that I made for the kids doors. I cup the shape out of styrofoam we had that came in the packaging for Colin's train set. I then simply wrapped the yarn around and around until I was happy with the coverage. Some hot glue was necessary at the end and to affix the end of the yarn but other than there were very few materials that went into this project. All in all, it took me about an hour to do both letters. I really like the way they turned out. I also discovered 3M velcro circles and used those to hang them on their doors. That way they can be moved if we ever have any room swapping and it also satisfies Jason's desire to leave our walls and doors hole free.
A few months ago or so, my sister commented that she was heading over to our Aunt and Uncle's house to get acorns. They live on South Dr in Fort Garry and their promise rang true with my sister leaving with a gigantic bowl. When she made herself a wreath, I knew I wanted to as well. I chose to make a smaller wreath so that it would hang fully in the window on our door. I used a styrofoam wreath I had left over from another project and after wrapping it with felt so that the green colour of the wreath didn't show through, I started gluing. And then I glued some more, and more, and more. And then I thought I was done and hung it only to have it fall down a few hours later and have 50% of the acorns falls off. So then I glued some more. And bought a stronger 3M hook to hang it from. And then I hung it again, and that is where it has been ever since. In total, I used 2 full packages of hot glue for this project as every acorn needed to be glued not only to one other acorn, but to any acorn it touched as well. It made for a lot of gluing. The burlap I used is actually meant to be a garland, however I loved how wide and ribbon-like it became when I used it here.
This piece of art was created after my friend Larissa did the same. She used this tutorial and modified it to suit her needs so I did the same. I purchased the canvas at my neighbours garage sale for $1 and after it was primed, I drew the shapes I wanted with a pencil and then filled them in on top with puff paint. After it was very dry, I peeled off a few leaves that I didn't care for and re-did things until I liked how it all looked and came together. Then, I painted the entire thing over with paint we had downstairs (it's actually the same colour we painted the mudroom). So far, this picture is living on top of the built in on one side of our fireplace but it may move depending on what happens with that area in the next few months as it is slated to have cupboard doors, wood counters, and stone and a mantel installed soon-ish. I am super happy with the way it turned out and think it will have a place in our home for many years to come.
Lastly, I made this framed piece for Addy's room. I have been wanting to buy a heart punch for a long time and was just waiting for the right Micheal's coupon to do so. It finally came and I finally got one! These hearts were affixed to the craft paper using ZOTS that I had left over from another project and then framed in a IKEA white frame. The frame has no glass due to an accident a few years ago, but I kind of like exposing this anyways. It definitely works in Addy's room and now I am brainstorming more ways of how I can use my new punch.
Now that Christmas is approaching, I am busy dreaming of all the new decorations and crafts I can make to decorate our home for the holidays. A few years ago I tried my hand at making us all stockings, but they were a definite flop. I am thinking they might be do for a redo, especially since we have another family member who needs one.
As much as I look forward to working again sometime next year, I do very much enjoy the fact that on maternity leave I have the time to complete projects such as these. I love the way each of these things look in the house and add interest and colour to our walls and doors. I have many more on my mind and am excited to tackle them all including a very exciting crafty endeavour where I plan to document our lives every step of the way.
Tuesday, October 16, 2012
5 Months.
Deer Addy,
Today, you turn 5 months old. This past month, the leaves have fallen, temperatures have dropped and you got your first taste of snow and winter. You are as happy as ever, and are definitely no longer a newborn. You smile and talk and laugh and play. You grab at everything and zero in on anything you might be able to get into your mouth.
The saga of your hair is a continual mess. This month, it pretty much all fell out, except for one strip at the very bottom above your neck. Your cradle cap was also in full force, however I think I have tamed it now. We were definitely looking a little rough for a few days. Your skin has also transformed into one big eczema mess, similar to what your brother went through. Thankfully after a quick trip to the doctor we are armed with creams now and things seem to be clearing up.
We still haven't rolled over yet, although you are so very close. There were quite a few babies born to friends of ours over the past few months and I continually see people posting on facebook about how their 3 month old rolled over. I suppose you are just not ready. Your brother was a slow roller too and didn't make the flip until at least 6 months so I am not at all surprised or disappointed that you haven't either. You will in time. Big babies take longer to move and my girl, you are big. You go ahead and take your time. I am smart enough to realize that a moving baby loses its novelty very quickly as all of a sudden anything 3 feet and below off the ground becomes fair game for little fingers to grasp and pull. Thankfully this time, unlike when your brother was this age, we have all our cupboard doors on and therefore that will decrease your temptation to get into them all like he did.
You had your first taste of food this month and so far have loved every second of it. After figuring out that you couldn't eat AND have your hand in your month the entire time, you have really mastered it. When you are full, you don't cry or yell, you simply clamp your mouth shut and turn your head to the side. You very politely and very clearly let me know that you are done. We will continue to try new things and see how it goes. I am determined that you will be a good eater. Your brother really struggles with trying new foods and I can't help but think that I must have encouraged that somehow. Everything I read says that picky eaters are made and not born therefore this time around I am reading everything I can find and even going to a picky eaters workshop in a few weeks.
This month, I found myself reaching for the fast forward button a few times. Compared to this same stage with your brother, you are by far easier. That being said, you have lulled me into your ease and your happiness and the therefore when we have rough days, I find it extra difficult because I am simply not used to it. That being said, you continually adjust to our schedule and adapt to sleeping when we are home or in the car. At the Y, you do very well and the daycare workers have commented numerous times about how happy you are. There are times though where it all becomes too much and you have your struggles. 99% of the time it is because I have pushed you too far and you are reminding me that you are in fact only 5 months old. I try my best to remember this and not to rush you past this stage where sleep is a non negotiable and home days mean a lot to you. As the temperature continues to drop and the snow falls, I am sure we will have many more days at home than we have had lately so you can look forward to that.
Birth order is something that I have done a decent amount of reading on as it very much interests me. Your brother, is already very much an oldest child. From what I hear, he is very much like your Dad was at that age and there is no more stereotypical oldest child than your Dad, trust me. You, my sweet girl, seem to be more of a middle child so far. The question of whether or not you will be a youngest or a middle is still undetermined, but so far, you scream middle to me. You love to be paid attention to, but never demand attention. You are so quiet and so easy that I sometimes forget you are even here :). You go with the flow and wait your turn with patience and ease.
I love you sweet girl, be sure of that. With each month and each day that pass, my love for you grows and my heart multiplies for YOU. I marvel at how you have grown and all your have learned already and look so forward to each and every day. You are so very, very sweet and you have an joy that is truly contagious. You are my lovely girl.
Love you to forever and always,
Mama
xoxo
Today, you turn 5 months old. This past month, the leaves have fallen, temperatures have dropped and you got your first taste of snow and winter. You are as happy as ever, and are definitely no longer a newborn. You smile and talk and laugh and play. You grab at everything and zero in on anything you might be able to get into your mouth.
The saga of your hair is a continual mess. This month, it pretty much all fell out, except for one strip at the very bottom above your neck. Your cradle cap was also in full force, however I think I have tamed it now. We were definitely looking a little rough for a few days. Your skin has also transformed into one big eczema mess, similar to what your brother went through. Thankfully after a quick trip to the doctor we are armed with creams now and things seem to be clearing up.
We still haven't rolled over yet, although you are so very close. There were quite a few babies born to friends of ours over the past few months and I continually see people posting on facebook about how their 3 month old rolled over. I suppose you are just not ready. Your brother was a slow roller too and didn't make the flip until at least 6 months so I am not at all surprised or disappointed that you haven't either. You will in time. Big babies take longer to move and my girl, you are big. You go ahead and take your time. I am smart enough to realize that a moving baby loses its novelty very quickly as all of a sudden anything 3 feet and below off the ground becomes fair game for little fingers to grasp and pull. Thankfully this time, unlike when your brother was this age, we have all our cupboard doors on and therefore that will decrease your temptation to get into them all like he did.
You had your first taste of food this month and so far have loved every second of it. After figuring out that you couldn't eat AND have your hand in your month the entire time, you have really mastered it. When you are full, you don't cry or yell, you simply clamp your mouth shut and turn your head to the side. You very politely and very clearly let me know that you are done. We will continue to try new things and see how it goes. I am determined that you will be a good eater. Your brother really struggles with trying new foods and I can't help but think that I must have encouraged that somehow. Everything I read says that picky eaters are made and not born therefore this time around I am reading everything I can find and even going to a picky eaters workshop in a few weeks.
Birth order is something that I have done a decent amount of reading on as it very much interests me. Your brother, is already very much an oldest child. From what I hear, he is very much like your Dad was at that age and there is no more stereotypical oldest child than your Dad, trust me. You, my sweet girl, seem to be more of a middle child so far. The question of whether or not you will be a youngest or a middle is still undetermined, but so far, you scream middle to me. You love to be paid attention to, but never demand attention. You are so quiet and so easy that I sometimes forget you are even here :). You go with the flow and wait your turn with patience and ease.
I love you sweet girl, be sure of that. With each month and each day that pass, my love for you grows and my heart multiplies for YOU. I marvel at how you have grown and all your have learned already and look so forward to each and every day. You are so very, very sweet and you have an joy that is truly contagious. You are my lovely girl.
Love you to forever and always,
Mama
xoxo
Monday, September 24, 2012
Mornings.
Lately, Colin has been getting up earlier than normal and Addy has been up even earlier than that. For the past few weeks, I have cursed their cry and reluctantly dragged myself out of bed. I felt sorry for myself and dreaded the mornings.
Yesterday, I learned that a childhood friend and neighbour of mine passed away extremely suddenly and with no warning. She leaves behind her husband and two young daughters who now have the impossible task of dealing with the grief, despair and loneliness.
I am still very much in shock and cannot fully absorb the terribleness of this news. I am however, just conscious enough to know that my morning attitude needs a serious adjustment. So today, I am so extremely thankful for this morning and for seeing the sunrise again on the life I have been so deeply blessed with. They may get up early, and Jason may leave for school even before that, but we are so lucky. Each day I have with them is worth celebrating, no matter how early it starts or how late it goes. I pray that I am lucky enough to be here for many more to come.
Yesterday, I learned that a childhood friend and neighbour of mine passed away extremely suddenly and with no warning. She leaves behind her husband and two young daughters who now have the impossible task of dealing with the grief, despair and loneliness.
I am still very much in shock and cannot fully absorb the terribleness of this news. I am however, just conscious enough to know that my morning attitude needs a serious adjustment. So today, I am so extremely thankful for this morning and for seeing the sunrise again on the life I have been so deeply blessed with. They may get up early, and Jason may leave for school even before that, but we are so lucky. Each day I have with them is worth celebrating, no matter how early it starts or how late it goes. I pray that I am lucky enough to be here for many more to come.
Monday, September 17, 2012
4 Months.
Dear Addy,
Yesterday, you turned 4 months old. This past month you have really perked up and joined our family. You love to talk and tell us stories and engage us every moment you are awake. You love your play mat and have started to bat at the toys that hang from it. Your most favorite place is the Bumbo as it allows you to sit up and watch the chaos that is this house unfold around you. It is also the perfect place for you to do what you love the most...shove your entire fist in your mouth. Yes, you read that right. You literally shove your entire fist in your mouth as much as you possibly can. In fact, a few weeks ago you actually threw up after gaging yourself with your fingers. We'll see where we go with this one.
A few weeks ago I took a good hard look at myself and let me tell you, I did not like what I saw. You did some damage to my body, yes, but I have been doing it no favours with the crap I have been feeding it since you were born. It was then and there that I decided to make a change. This change is going to come with some sacrifice from you, my sweet girl, so here is my apology in advance. For me to take time for me, means you doing without a nap or two along the way. I know you can handle it, but I also know that we may be in tough from time to time as an overtired baby is never a ball of laughs. I promise you that if you can give me that time, I will be a better Mom to you in return. I will be happier, I will be healthier and I will be around much longer to see you grow up and hopefully, grow old.
This will go down as the month where I finally, fully, gave into you. I fell totally and completely in love with you this month and I will tell you exactly why - it's because I finally got to know you. It's not that I didn't love you up until now, because I very much did, it's just that when you have a great sleeper, you really don't spend much time with your baby in those initial months. This past month you started staying awake for longer stretches which has really given us extra time to spend together. While awake, you have also started talking a lot and laughing and smiling constantly. My mission in life right now is to make you happy and with every smile, my heart sings as it feels like you are giving me a big gold star.
Love you to forever and always,
Mama
xoxo
Yesterday, you turned 4 months old. This past month you have really perked up and joined our family. You love to talk and tell us stories and engage us every moment you are awake. You love your play mat and have started to bat at the toys that hang from it. Your most favorite place is the Bumbo as it allows you to sit up and watch the chaos that is this house unfold around you. It is also the perfect place for you to do what you love the most...shove your entire fist in your mouth. Yes, you read that right. You literally shove your entire fist in your mouth as much as you possibly can. In fact, a few weeks ago you actually threw up after gaging yourself with your fingers. We'll see where we go with this one.
A few weeks ago I took a good hard look at myself and let me tell you, I did not like what I saw. You did some damage to my body, yes, but I have been doing it no favours with the crap I have been feeding it since you were born. It was then and there that I decided to make a change. This change is going to come with some sacrifice from you, my sweet girl, so here is my apology in advance. For me to take time for me, means you doing without a nap or two along the way. I know you can handle it, but I also know that we may be in tough from time to time as an overtired baby is never a ball of laughs. I promise you that if you can give me that time, I will be a better Mom to you in return. I will be happier, I will be healthier and I will be around much longer to see you grow up and hopefully, grow old.
This will go down as the month where I finally, fully, gave into you. I fell totally and completely in love with you this month and I will tell you exactly why - it's because I finally got to know you. It's not that I didn't love you up until now, because I very much did, it's just that when you have a great sleeper, you really don't spend much time with your baby in those initial months. This past month you started staying awake for longer stretches which has really given us extra time to spend together. While awake, you have also started talking a lot and laughing and smiling constantly. My mission in life right now is to make you happy and with every smile, my heart sings as it feels like you are giving me a big gold star.
Love you to forever and always,
Mama
xoxo
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
Start the clock.
In about twenty six weeks, I will have the honour of standing up for one of my closest friends at her wedding. She is SUCH a good friend that she even decided, along with her fiance, to have the wedding take place in Hualtuco, Mexico. Since the wedding is during school time, Jason obviously isn't able to come. Since I am not insane, and would actually like to enjoy the week, I am also not taking either of the kids. Yes, you read that right. I will be enjoying an entire week without children and I am very, very excited. I am so ready to stay up late, knowing that I can simply sleep in in the morning, to not worry about schedules and naps, and just to relax, read, and have fun with friends. I also am so thankful to be able to be there to celebrate with my dear friend. I am also so amazingly thankful for parents and in laws who have agreed to stand in for me on the child care front for the week. I have my eyes on the prize and the prize is from March 3-10, 2013.
Yes, I am ready. My body, however, is most definitely not. After I had Colin, I found that the weight simply fell off fairly easily and without much effort. About 6 weeks after I had him, I was only 5 pounds away from my starting weight. Today, 16 weeks after having Addy, I am 15 pounds away. To be honest, I didn't really even notice until a week or two ago where I took a good hard look at myself and realized that things just didn't look right. Clothes still somewhat fit, but few comfortably and many not at all. It is time to do something about this. For one, Mexico is 6 months away and I want to feel great while there. I want to wear a bathing suit without feeling uncomfortable and look back at pictures without cringing. I want to stand up next to my beautiful friend and feel like a girl of 21 again. So, today, I started.
Before we had kids, I used to live in the gym. I would work out 4-6 times a week with ease. When Jason and I first met, I would run to the gym which was 3km away, work out for an hour, and then run back. I loved it and found it easy to get motivated and get moving. After I had Colin, I struggled, but somehow managed to semi get back at it. In all fairness, I found it much easier after I stopped nursing him at 9 months old and was truly able to get away and not feel the constant ticking of the clock while gone. Since Addy, I have found it even harder to make the time necessary for a workout. It is nobody's fault but my own. Yes, I am nursing her, but unlike Colin who ate every 2 hours, Addy refuses to eat any sooner than 4 therefore giving me more than enough time to get away. I had good intentions all summer while Jason was home, but never really found my stride or my groove. Now that fall is here, with it comes the change.
The change is, we are back at the Y. There really couldn't be a better place for us as the membership gives us full access to the gym and pool. My parents have offered to take my kids while I work out, or, if they are not available, there is a babysitting service available. For once, I truly have no excuse and plan on taking full advantage of the membership and the help.
I am starting a "Back to Run" program (truthfully for the second time as the first didn't quite take), and adding some other exercises I learnt while doing Crossfit between pregnancies. Today, I forgot how good it feels to be back in the gym and work. I am trying very hard to take it slow as I know how weak and out of shape I am and to jump right back into intense exercise would end badly for both my motivation and my body. I want to ease into things and get back to where I want to be with time, therefore ensuring that I don't end up on the injured list.
I am so ready to take control. I am so ready to make good decisions and make time for myself and my goals. I realize that this is going to mean sacrifice on both mine and Addy's part. She is going to have to sacrifice some naps and I am hoping that it does not backfire too much on our seemingly perfect sleeper. Colin will be in his absolute glory as he will play the time away with Grandma and Grandpa or the kids in the playroom - he will have no complaints. Sorry, baby girl, it's all on you.
Yes, I am ready. I figure that I owe my body as much as it gifted me with two easy pregnancies and two even easier labour and deliveries. The least I can do is pay it back with strength, power, and endurance. I have 6 months to lose 15 pounds to get back to my pre pregnancy weight. Since I didn't LOVE my body then, I have rounded it up to 20 just for good measure. That being said, I know that things aren't currently that bad and I am very grateful to have the body that I have now as I know that the struggles I have are nowhere near the struggles that others do after child birth. What I also know though, is that I can be better. I can be much, much better. I can feel better than I feel right now and I can be healthier - that is what is most important. I want my kids to look at me and see a strong, fit woman who makes the time to exercise and stay active so that they are motivated to do the same. I know I can do this and specifically wrote this post so that I have to follow through. The time is now and the goal is Mexico in March. Start the clock.
Yes, I am ready. My body, however, is most definitely not. After I had Colin, I found that the weight simply fell off fairly easily and without much effort. About 6 weeks after I had him, I was only 5 pounds away from my starting weight. Today, 16 weeks after having Addy, I am 15 pounds away. To be honest, I didn't really even notice until a week or two ago where I took a good hard look at myself and realized that things just didn't look right. Clothes still somewhat fit, but few comfortably and many not at all. It is time to do something about this. For one, Mexico is 6 months away and I want to feel great while there. I want to wear a bathing suit without feeling uncomfortable and look back at pictures without cringing. I want to stand up next to my beautiful friend and feel like a girl of 21 again. So, today, I started.
Before we had kids, I used to live in the gym. I would work out 4-6 times a week with ease. When Jason and I first met, I would run to the gym which was 3km away, work out for an hour, and then run back. I loved it and found it easy to get motivated and get moving. After I had Colin, I struggled, but somehow managed to semi get back at it. In all fairness, I found it much easier after I stopped nursing him at 9 months old and was truly able to get away and not feel the constant ticking of the clock while gone. Since Addy, I have found it even harder to make the time necessary for a workout. It is nobody's fault but my own. Yes, I am nursing her, but unlike Colin who ate every 2 hours, Addy refuses to eat any sooner than 4 therefore giving me more than enough time to get away. I had good intentions all summer while Jason was home, but never really found my stride or my groove. Now that fall is here, with it comes the change.
The change is, we are back at the Y. There really couldn't be a better place for us as the membership gives us full access to the gym and pool. My parents have offered to take my kids while I work out, or, if they are not available, there is a babysitting service available. For once, I truly have no excuse and plan on taking full advantage of the membership and the help.
I am starting a "Back to Run" program (truthfully for the second time as the first didn't quite take), and adding some other exercises I learnt while doing Crossfit between pregnancies. Today, I forgot how good it feels to be back in the gym and work. I am trying very hard to take it slow as I know how weak and out of shape I am and to jump right back into intense exercise would end badly for both my motivation and my body. I want to ease into things and get back to where I want to be with time, therefore ensuring that I don't end up on the injured list.
I am so ready to take control. I am so ready to make good decisions and make time for myself and my goals. I realize that this is going to mean sacrifice on both mine and Addy's part. She is going to have to sacrifice some naps and I am hoping that it does not backfire too much on our seemingly perfect sleeper. Colin will be in his absolute glory as he will play the time away with Grandma and Grandpa or the kids in the playroom - he will have no complaints. Sorry, baby girl, it's all on you.
Yes, I am ready. I figure that I owe my body as much as it gifted me with two easy pregnancies and two even easier labour and deliveries. The least I can do is pay it back with strength, power, and endurance. I have 6 months to lose 15 pounds to get back to my pre pregnancy weight. Since I didn't LOVE my body then, I have rounded it up to 20 just for good measure. That being said, I know that things aren't currently that bad and I am very grateful to have the body that I have now as I know that the struggles I have are nowhere near the struggles that others do after child birth. What I also know though, is that I can be better. I can be much, much better. I can feel better than I feel right now and I can be healthier - that is what is most important. I want my kids to look at me and see a strong, fit woman who makes the time to exercise and stay active so that they are motivated to do the same. I know I can do this and specifically wrote this post so that I have to follow through. The time is now and the goal is Mexico in March. Start the clock.
Saturday, September 1, 2012
2.
Dear Colin,
Today, you turn 2 years old and it is exactly one year since I have written you. First of all, thank you for the past year. It has been so much fun to spend it with you and watch you every second of the way. You and your super fun self have made being your Mom just the best thing that I could ever ask for. When looking back at pictures from this time one year ago, it really magnifies how much you have grown and developed. One year ago, you couldn't walk, now you run...everywhere. One year ago, you couldn't say much of anything, and what you could say, I couldn't really understand. Now you are constantly talking, 80% or so of which I understand - we are getting there. Bottom line is that one year ago you were still very much a baby and today, you are most definitely a little boy. You are absolutely the most stereotypical, loud, rowdy, crazy boy. You love all things boy - cars, trucks, tractors, bridges, trains, buses, and destroying.
For you, learning to walk was a slower process where you didn't really hit your true stride until 14 or 15 months. I have read that the bigger the baby, the longer it takes for them to really get moving so the theory fits with you. Ever since you started walking, and now running, you have really slimmed out and simply lengthened up instead of out, something you did very quickly in your first year. I remember sometime around Christmas looking at you and realizing that I could actually see your neck, something I had never seen since you were a few weeks old. You are still thick, but I would imagine you might always be. Your Dad and I are not small people therefore I can't imagine why you would be either. Today, on your birthday we measured you and marked your height on the measuring stick that I made last year. It is great to be able to see how much you have grown...I know making a new mark will be something I look forward to each year.
You are smart. You love to learn and love to practice something over and over again until you can do it by yourself and to perfection. I see your Dad in you as you often get frustrated when you initially have trouble with something. You are both perfectionists and I think the learner in him has brushed off in you. I fully expect and accept that you will one day be smarter than me. You are just that way and I can tell already that you will be a lifelong learner. You are so much like your Dad in that way. It is never enough for your Dad just to shrug off how things work and let them do their job. Your Dad always wants to research and understand each and every thing in our home and in the world. You seem to be the same way. Hopefully you'll go easy on me when I you realize that I just don't share that trait. A student, I am not. I love that you are already on this path as I know how much fun you and your Dad will have learning together. You and he can read every sign on hikes, spend hours reading online about everything under the sun and go through the years discussing the latest and greatest.
Something I realized the other day is just how easy a toddler you have been even though you were a difficult baby and an extremely challenged sleeper for quite a few of your initial months of life. Although sleeping was such a challenge for you for those first months, ever since then you are the ideal sleeper. Zero complaints. For the past year, you have handled every transition with ease. A few months ago we decided to move you to a toddler bed thinking that we wanted to get that over and done with while your sister was still up at that time anyways. I didn't want to wait until she was going to bed at 7:30 and then deal with you getting out of bed again and again for hours. I should have given you more credit. From night one, you stayed in your bed. You fell out once, but that wasn't anything a pool noodle under the sheet couldn't fix. It was then that I realized that you truly have transitioned through each and every stage with almost no problems. As tough a newborn that you were, you have made up for it tenfold.
This year, we changed everything and added another baby to our family. You, my friend, love on your sister like I always hoped you would. You are gentle and caring and compassionate to her and what she needs. One time a month or so ago you accidentally hit her with a toy you were playing with and she started crying. Instantly, you started bawling, tears flowed and your lips quivered. You were so sorry. You are on your way to being a great big brother. I am sure the two of you will have your moments, but I could not have asked for a better introduction to the dynamic of having 2 kids.
Over the past year, you have become a wonderfully awesome, super fun little boy. There have been times however when you and I have come to "blows". Your wonderfulness sometimes spills over into craziness and your craziness sometimes morphs into super loudness and annoyingness. You are 2 and for the past year I have had to remind myself of your age from time to time. You will sometimes cry because your bath made you wet, or because your milk out of the fridge was cold, or because I picked up the wrong book off the shelf. I have to remember that outbursts and ridiculousness comes with the territory of being 2 and try not to hold it against you too much. Luckily for me, you make up for it with your cuteness and your general disposition that can turn even the saddest and grumpiest of my moods around as quickly as they began. I remember when my sisters kids were your age and they would do something rotten to their Mom and she would of course, discipline them. Not 2 seconds later, after all the tears were wiped and sorry's were said, she would act as if nothing happened, and simply go on with the day calling them "sweetheart" and "honey". Before I had you, and before this past year I always wondered how she did that. To me, I thought, if my kid had just done that with me, I would be still be angry, at least for an hour or two. You have shown me why my sister was able to brush things off so easily. When it's your own kid, it just comes with the love and joy you have for them. No matter how rotten you have been from time to time over this past year, once you are past it and back to sweetness, so am I. I simply can't help but forgive and forget. I could never hold a grudge on you.
Every stage we have gotten through with you has been my most favorite and the stage we are in now is no different. I love your independence, your politeness, your humour, your words. You are so happy to be you and I am so happy to have a front row seat. You make me laugh more than I ever thought a 2 year old could and make me happy to be exactly where we are. Seeing the world through your eyes brings me more energy than I ever thought I could have while mothering 2 kids under 2. You think the simplest things are so incredibly interesting. You start each day with joy and energy and excitement. You find fun in anything and simply love living. You are my bestest boy and my sweetest little man.
This morning, I conducted the first of an annual interview that we will repeat yearly on your birthday. Even though this video is a bit of a mess, I love how it represents who you are today. You are exactly you in this...energetic, funny, and never stop moving. My personal favorite moment is when you pretend to be sleeping around the 2:30 mark. Obviously I am not a very engaging interviewer. Can't wait to see what you will be like one year from now and how your answers will differ. Hopefully you might actually sit still as well...
I will cherish this video and how it so perfectly represents you and all I love and adore.
Happy Birthday, bub. To the moon and back, you are forever loved.
Mommy
xoxo
Today, you turn 2 years old and it is exactly one year since I have written you. First of all, thank you for the past year. It has been so much fun to spend it with you and watch you every second of the way. You and your super fun self have made being your Mom just the best thing that I could ever ask for. When looking back at pictures from this time one year ago, it really magnifies how much you have grown and developed. One year ago, you couldn't walk, now you run...everywhere. One year ago, you couldn't say much of anything, and what you could say, I couldn't really understand. Now you are constantly talking, 80% or so of which I understand - we are getting there. Bottom line is that one year ago you were still very much a baby and today, you are most definitely a little boy. You are absolutely the most stereotypical, loud, rowdy, crazy boy. You love all things boy - cars, trucks, tractors, bridges, trains, buses, and destroying.
For you, learning to walk was a slower process where you didn't really hit your true stride until 14 or 15 months. I have read that the bigger the baby, the longer it takes for them to really get moving so the theory fits with you. Ever since you started walking, and now running, you have really slimmed out and simply lengthened up instead of out, something you did very quickly in your first year. I remember sometime around Christmas looking at you and realizing that I could actually see your neck, something I had never seen since you were a few weeks old. You are still thick, but I would imagine you might always be. Your Dad and I are not small people therefore I can't imagine why you would be either. Today, on your birthday we measured you and marked your height on the measuring stick that I made last year. It is great to be able to see how much you have grown...I know making a new mark will be something I look forward to each year.
You are smart. You love to learn and love to practice something over and over again until you can do it by yourself and to perfection. I see your Dad in you as you often get frustrated when you initially have trouble with something. You are both perfectionists and I think the learner in him has brushed off in you. I fully expect and accept that you will one day be smarter than me. You are just that way and I can tell already that you will be a lifelong learner. You are so much like your Dad in that way. It is never enough for your Dad just to shrug off how things work and let them do their job. Your Dad always wants to research and understand each and every thing in our home and in the world. You seem to be the same way. Hopefully you'll go easy on me when I you realize that I just don't share that trait. A student, I am not. I love that you are already on this path as I know how much fun you and your Dad will have learning together. You and he can read every sign on hikes, spend hours reading online about everything under the sun and go through the years discussing the latest and greatest.
Something I realized the other day is just how easy a toddler you have been even though you were a difficult baby and an extremely challenged sleeper for quite a few of your initial months of life. Although sleeping was such a challenge for you for those first months, ever since then you are the ideal sleeper. Zero complaints. For the past year, you have handled every transition with ease. A few months ago we decided to move you to a toddler bed thinking that we wanted to get that over and done with while your sister was still up at that time anyways. I didn't want to wait until she was going to bed at 7:30 and then deal with you getting out of bed again and again for hours. I should have given you more credit. From night one, you stayed in your bed. You fell out once, but that wasn't anything a pool noodle under the sheet couldn't fix. It was then that I realized that you truly have transitioned through each and every stage with almost no problems. As tough a newborn that you were, you have made up for it tenfold.
This year, we changed everything and added another baby to our family. You, my friend, love on your sister like I always hoped you would. You are gentle and caring and compassionate to her and what she needs. One time a month or so ago you accidentally hit her with a toy you were playing with and she started crying. Instantly, you started bawling, tears flowed and your lips quivered. You were so sorry. You are on your way to being a great big brother. I am sure the two of you will have your moments, but I could not have asked for a better introduction to the dynamic of having 2 kids.
Over the past year, you have become a wonderfully awesome, super fun little boy. There have been times however when you and I have come to "blows". Your wonderfulness sometimes spills over into craziness and your craziness sometimes morphs into super loudness and annoyingness. You are 2 and for the past year I have had to remind myself of your age from time to time. You will sometimes cry because your bath made you wet, or because your milk out of the fridge was cold, or because I picked up the wrong book off the shelf. I have to remember that outbursts and ridiculousness comes with the territory of being 2 and try not to hold it against you too much. Luckily for me, you make up for it with your cuteness and your general disposition that can turn even the saddest and grumpiest of my moods around as quickly as they began. I remember when my sisters kids were your age and they would do something rotten to their Mom and she would of course, discipline them. Not 2 seconds later, after all the tears were wiped and sorry's were said, she would act as if nothing happened, and simply go on with the day calling them "sweetheart" and "honey". Before I had you, and before this past year I always wondered how she did that. To me, I thought, if my kid had just done that with me, I would be still be angry, at least for an hour or two. You have shown me why my sister was able to brush things off so easily. When it's your own kid, it just comes with the love and joy you have for them. No matter how rotten you have been from time to time over this past year, once you are past it and back to sweetness, so am I. I simply can't help but forgive and forget. I could never hold a grudge on you.
Every stage we have gotten through with you has been my most favorite and the stage we are in now is no different. I love your independence, your politeness, your humour, your words. You are so happy to be you and I am so happy to have a front row seat. You make me laugh more than I ever thought a 2 year old could and make me happy to be exactly where we are. Seeing the world through your eyes brings me more energy than I ever thought I could have while mothering 2 kids under 2. You think the simplest things are so incredibly interesting. You start each day with joy and energy and excitement. You find fun in anything and simply love living. You are my bestest boy and my sweetest little man.
This morning, I conducted the first of an annual interview that we will repeat yearly on your birthday. Even though this video is a bit of a mess, I love how it represents who you are today. You are exactly you in this...energetic, funny, and never stop moving. My personal favorite moment is when you pretend to be sleeping around the 2:30 mark. Obviously I am not a very engaging interviewer. Can't wait to see what you will be like one year from now and how your answers will differ. Hopefully you might actually sit still as well...
I will cherish this video and how it so perfectly represents you and all I love and adore.
Happy Birthday, bub. To the moon and back, you are forever loved.
Mommy
xoxo
This is to you.
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