Learning.

As a first time mother, I made many mistakes. I am sure as a second time mother I will make equally as many and more. If we are so lucky/choose to make it a trifetca, I am sure mistakes will be made on that one too. I am also not finished making mistakes as a mother - no siree. In fact, I am pretty sure it is only the beginning and not only that, I am definitely sure that the mistakes I am certain to make in the future, will be far worse than the ones I have already made. That all being said, there are a few mistakes that I made with Colin that I most definitely will not make again. That, I can promise whoever the little person whom I am currently growing.

1. There will be a sound machine & black out blinds from day one (trivial, yet proved to be the game changer). It took me about 3 months to finally buy a sound machine and put it in Colin's room and it changed our lives forever. It took about as long to buy black out blinds. As much as I love this house and the fact that it is a bungalow, there are times that I long for a second story so that sleeping babies and overly busy mothers have a little more space between them. We also for some reason have an HVAC vent that is open to our main living area and also to Colin's room. Makes for keeping loud sounds from traveling in all that much more impossible. The noise machine we bought plays white noise only and has 2 volumes, low and high. It is not fancy, however I would pay twice or three times its cost over and over again for the uninterrupted sleep it provides. You better believe that I have already purchased a second and the new baby will experience its majesty from day one. We do not mess around without noise machines any longer in this house. We do also not mess around with the darkness of babies room. The new babies room will be no exception. I will buy boy appropriate curtains and girl appropriate curtains so that there will be no delay in getting those up as soon as we are home and the other set can be simply returned.

2. That no stage lasts forever. The first 3 months with Colin were not easy. He was not all that thrilled to be part of the world and had a very hard time adjusting to life on the outside. There were a lot of tears, and they were often undiagnosed even after I thought I had tried everything. About 8 or 9 weeks after he was born, I remember thinking to myself that I would never be able to watch television in the evenings - ever again. We had a very difficult, very long "witching hour" at that stage and he pretty much cried from 5:00 p.m. - 9:00 p.m. daily. That was it, I thought. My television life was over and I would have to instead watch bits and pieces of recorded shows here and there. Another luxury that I thought I would never be able to do again is paint my nails. Colin was nursing every 2 and a half hours, and for 45-60 minutes each time. Simple math shows that the drying time needed when you paint your own nails was just not there. That was it, I thought - I will never have painted nails again. Funny enough, a month or two later, the storm has passed, Colin was going to bed easily at 7pm and napping for long stretches during the day and all of a sudden I had more time than I could ever want for television and any kind of esthetic work I wanted to do on myself. In the moment though, when I was dealing with the constant eating and the tears, I was sure that that was the way it would always be. This time around I know that each stage of a babies first year is over in a flash - including the crappy days and nights where you think it is all over for you. "This too shall pass" is a phrase that I repeated over and over again at times with Colin but it wasn't until after that I truly understand its mantra. I now know to simply breathe and let time do its magic.

3. That some things will just have to change. I am not one to easily give in to anyone. Colin was no exception. I was not going to let a newborn change my daily routine, my grocery shopping habits and my need for a clean house. I refused to let the laundry sit, the house stay unvacuumed or the dished undone. Because of this, I missed a lot of his best times as a newborn because I used up all his happy time being productive. I regret this. There is a certain amount of housework and errands that simply need to get done and believe me, I will still do them. However, with a 2nd baby around, I really do hope that I can learn from my mistake the first time around and be less concerned with the chores of life and more concerned with living life. New babies often bring with them many visitors as so many people want to meet the new person and congratulate you - this I LOVE as I love visitors and company. If you ever have an excuse to have a messy house, it is when you have a new baby and I am going to try and take full advantage of that instead of concerning myself with having a spotless house for each and every arrival. Life is too short.

4. To look at the whole child. My sisters sister-in-law coined this phrase and my sister and I often remind each other of its meaning. It is so easy as a new mother to concentrate solely on what you think is wrong with your kid. Maybe they don't nurse/eat as well as you had hoped, or they don't sleep as well as you had hoped, or maybe they just don't generally seem all that happy ever (eg. Colin from day 1 to day 45ish). In these situations, I have learned that you need to step back and look at the whole child before coming to the conclusion that something is wrong. Are they eating? Are they gaining weight? Are they peeing/pooping? Are they sleeping at all? I made the mistake time and time again of zeroing in on one aspect of Colin's life that I perceived as being wrong and forgot that in general, he was a healthy, growing, great little guy. Sure, we had our issues here and there, some which even warranted a doctors visit or two, but when I looked at the whole child, I saw a perfect little boy instead of focusing on the one of two little issues at hand. I really do think this advice will reign true for our children's entire adolescent lives as with so much in life, human nature is to simply focus on the negative, the wrong, the problems, instead of having a broader view in which there is usually far more going right than wrong. From day one, I will look at the whole child.

I made many, many more mistakes than these, however it would be impossible to think that I will bat 100 from now on. I am sure that at some point, I will repeat these same mistakes (except for number 1 - I don't mess around with number 1), and I am absolutely positive that I will make new ones. That is just what a new experiences bring - challenges and rewards, ups and downs, mistakes and solutions. The best part about the craziness of the first few months with a newborn is that tomorrow is always a new day and if something crashed and burned today, there is always tomorrow to change it up and possible get success. And end all, be all is always that they won't remember any of it anyways, no matter how badly we screw up. Thank goodness for that part.