One Month.

Dear Addy,

When your brother was about 3 months old, I started writing him a letter each month on his monthly birthday.  I am honored to be able to do the same for you.

The past month, if we are being honest here (and I always plan to be), has been a mixed bag of ups and downs.  The day we finally met you and put a face and name to your kicks, was definitely an up.  In fact, it was one of the biggest ups of my life.  You came quickly and "easily" and were perfect from the moment we saw your little face.  From that moment on, life would never be the same.  For one, we were now a family of 4 rather than 3, but more than that, we were now a family with another lady in the house.  I have been outnumbered 3-1 for quite some time (Jake included) and you helped me to get a little closer to evening the score.

I am loving what is means to have a little girl.  I love the pink and purple touches I was able to add to your room.  I love the actual outfits we have been given and can't wait to see you in them all as you grow.  I have complained in the past that baby and toddler boys clothing is really just different combinations of shirts and pants.  There really isn't much else you can dress a boy in.  Girls have all of the above PLUS tights, dresses, rompers, skirts, and endless other cute little touches to add to the daily ensemble.  So far, you have really only worn sleepers, however there are a few occasions coming up soon that I know you will be able to debut your new wardrobe.

I promise that I will not always compare you to your brother, however in this case, you will welcome the comparison as you are the clear winner.  You are a MUCH easier newborn than your brother was.  You are either just more relaxed, or maybe I am, however I think it is a combination of the two.  I heard someone say the other day that babies can smell fear and I couldn't agree more.  Hopefully you smell it a little less on me than obviously Colin did.  I feel much more comfortable, prepared and realistic with you.  I worry less about scheduling, knowing that it will happen over time, and also have relaxed when it comes to naps and not wanting to create bad habits - something I stressed over constantly with Colin.  Funny how these are the two things that seem to have happened naturally with you.  You have somewhat scheduled yourself and you sleep, for the most part, like a log.  You can do something already that took your brother 6 months to figure out - you can fall asleep on your own without screaming your face off for 45 minutes beforehand.  About 3 days after you were born, I discovered you had this skill and instantly felt a massive amount of hope and relief.  I listened to A LOT of crying from your brother while we were trying to learn how to do this, and thankfully, it doesn't seem like I will have to listen to as much with you.  Love you for that.

In continuing with being honest in these letters to you, I want you to know that this month has not been easy on me emotionally.  If you ever welcome a child into the world yourself, I want you to know that it is not always wonderful and easy and joy 24 hours a day, like for some reason, we seem to believe.  As much as I wanted you and loved you more than anything from the moment I met you, the transition of bringing you home and integrating you into our lives was challenging.  I forgot how difficult it all is and got pretty down on myself and on you.  I am sorry for that.  Thankfully, things got better very quickly and although it is still hard, I know that the exhaustion I am feeling currently is temporary.  Thank you for being patient with me.  Thank you for being easy on me.  Thank you for helping me through the first month.

This first month has passed at a snails pace, however I know that each and every one of your first year will go by quicker than the last. In the next couple weeks, your Dad will start to be home more and by the end of the month, will be home for good for two months during which we will have some time away as a family, something I look forward to each and every summer.

It is hard to put into words all the emotions that I have felt over the past month but this I can promise you.  Above all, you are LOVED.  You were loved from the moment I saw you and you will continue to be loved for eternity.  Although it has not been easy, you have made each moment worthwhile simply by being here and being you.  It gets easier each day and I can't wait to see more and more of your personality emerge as time goes on.  

Love you baby girl,

Mama
xoxo

First Summer Days.

It finally feels like summer is here to stay as we have been experiencing our first really hot stretch of the year.  Today, we visited the new play structure that my sister and her husband put together over the weekend.  It was definitely a hit with Colin and Addy didn't seem to have any complaints either as she slept the entire time.  Love these kids.  We look forward to many more fun days in this exclusive park!

 

 

 

Grass!

We have been waiting for the day where we would have some actual grass for what feels like a long time.  This past weekend, it finally became a reality as we laid 3600 square feet of sod on the north side of our house, wrapping around to the front.

The progress went as follows...

First we started with weeds, weeds, and more weeds...

Then thanks to my farmer husband...

And a tractor and tiller...

And some great helpers, we are now the proud owners of this...

We could not be happier with the way things turned out.  The sod looks great and I can't wait for Colin to really be able to take advantage of his new softer landing spots.

The only glitch in our plans was when we finished laying the sod and started the watering process.  Apparently our well just couldn't take the constant use and continually dried up after an hour or so on the job.  Thankfully, our neighbors came to our rescue and we have been putting their well and water to good use ever since.  There is also some rain the forecast for later this week so we are hoping for a good soaking from mother nature soon. 

So the first summer project has been crossed off the list and I am so excited for what I am sure will be a lot of fun spent on the grass this summer and for many summers to come.

Things inside the house are getting kinda fun too...especially moments like this one.

A little credit.

As I wrote earlier this week, the past 15 days have been difficult.  Adjusting to life with a newborn again, as well as continue to deal with a 20 month old has been challenging and it has forced me to simplify once again.  That being said, I really don't feel that through it all, I have given Addy enough credit for the wonderful baby she is.  Let me count the ways...

1. She will fall asleep in my arms.  This is not something I plan on making a habit of, but at this stage of the game, it sure does come in handy.  Colin was extremely hard to put to sleep, and therefore you just had to hope and pray that he did on his own or else he simply went without sleep (something he did not handle well).  A soother and a warm body are all Addy seems to need and for that, I appreciate how easy it is to take her places and keep her happy and well rested.  At night, she has been sleeping in 5 hour stretches, however, will only do so on my chest.  For that reason, we have been spending a lot of nights on the couch together.  I will take the long stretches for now, and we will simply work out the details later.

2. She takes a bottle like a pro.  A few days ago, I decided to try to give her a bottle with formula to simply see how she would react.  She had absolutely zero issues with it, drank the entire thing, and  went back to nursing for her next feeding without skipping a beat.  This could not make me happier.  For one, I now know that I can leave for the odd feeding here and there and anyone could satisfy her needs.  For two, I always like to know that my babies will drink formula.  I am comforted by the fact that if something ever happened to me,  I needed surgery or was really, really sick, they would not go hungry.  

3. In some ways, Addy is actually easier than Colin.  My parents took Colin on Friday for a day and her and I bee-bopped around town getting errands done.  In total, we were out of the house for 6 hours and all I needed was diapers, my nursing cover and an extra sleeper.  There is no way that I would be able to get that many things done in one day with Colin.  For one, he very much still requires his afternoon nap, and for two, he does not so much tolerate that much car and stroller time.  Like any little boy, he wants to play, explore and run rather than sit and wait - something that errands and groceries require.  Addy slept pretty much the entire time we were out, except for when she ate and I enjoyed crossing many nagging errands off my list.

4. Addy is happy.  Anyone that spent any time with Colin in the first 3 months of his life will remember that for the most part, he just wasn't very happy.  He would eat and cry on steady rotation for most of the day.  I remember being extremely frustrated as I felt that my only real job at the time was to make him happy and I clearly was not doing a very good job.  Addy on the other hand, is a fairly happy, content little girl.  She has some gas issues, as Colin did as well, however is dealing with them better every day. 

5. Addy makes me dream.  It wasn't until a couple of days ago that I fully absorbed the fact that we have ourselves a daughter and what that actually means.  There is something so special about the relationship that daughters have with their mothers.  Yes, I am sure there will be rocky days (ie. teenage years), however the adult relationship that I have with my Mom, makes me so excited for that same time with Addy.  Should she choose to get married one day, I will get to be the mother of the bride.  Should she have her own children, I will get to experience that with her.  These dreams are all ones that I hope to watch her through one day, and I feel immensely blessed to even have the chance.

So as difficult, exhausting, and trying as the past 15 days have been, I can't imagine how much more challenging they would have been had we not been gifted with as wonderful a baby as we have.  Addy is everything I could have hoped for, and is the perfect addition to this family. 

Thank you, baby girl!