Fireplace Evolution

Since we moved in almost 2 and a half years ago, our fireplace has been a steady but SLOW project to progress.  Although we are still not quite done, we saw some major progress over the weekend that has totally changed the way it looks and functions.

Our fireplace, through the years...

Simply in place.

In place and functional.

In place, functional, and covered up.

In place, functional, covered up, and ready for scratch coat.

In place, functional, covered up, and scratch coated.

In place, functional, covered up, scratch coated and countertops installed (had to wait for IKEA for these).

In place, functional, covered up, scratch coated and countertops installed, doors hung.

What's left on the list?  An oak mantel that is currently in our basement ready for sanding and hanging, some millwork to truly make the "built-ins", built in, the rock that will cover the entire face and sides as well as some shelving for the non TV side.  Still a decent amount of work but will we chip away at it as time and budget allows.  The doors and countertop installation this past weekend is a huge addition since now the mass of toys on the right, and mass of wires on the left are finally tucked away and out of sight, something I have been looking forward to ever since we moved in.

The holidays list for us around here is short, as we are focusing on spending time with family and loving on little ones rather than working on the house.  We will however build and drywall the second bedroom downstairs so that our visitors all have their own space at night, as well as hopefully install the mantel to the fireplace before Christmas.  I have a couple of art projects on the go as well that I should be able to complete this week in time for the big day.  8 days - GO!

7 Months.

Dear Addy,

Today, you turn 7 months old.  It is Christmas time and you are just as sweet as ever.  We are busy getting ready for visitors and multiple family members who have never had the pleasure of meeting you yet.  They are all so excited to see you and I can't wait to show them just how wonderful you really are.  I know the holidays will be challenging for you as your schedule and sleep will be disrupted, but I am so very sure that you will suck it up and be just fine.  You are just that kind of baby.  So far, I have to admit, we have bought you nothing for Christmas (sorry).  I did buy you a pair of winter boots a month or so ago so I guess that will qualify as your present.  I promise that next year there will be a toy or two for you under the tree too.

You have started to move around a lot this month and can maneuver yourself pretty well by rolling and thrusting your body towards whatever you are after.  You love to sit and play and have officially become bored with some of your go to toys from the past few months.  You now much prefer your brothers things and it is so evident that new toys and things to chew on thrill you.

I love to look at your cousin Lily, who is 3 and a bit as I write this, and dream and wonder what kind of little girl you will be one day.  Lily is everything that little girls are.  She likes her dolls, her clothes and anything that is pink.  She is sensitive and dramatic and can change moods quicker than she can change outfits.  She is so much fun to watch and to be around and I can't help but think about you and imagine what you will be like as you grow.  Little boys are great, and I am so grateful that we have a boy as well, but there is something different and special about having a girl to me.  If Colin gets married one day, I simply have to hope that I am included and accepted by his wife.  You and I, my sweet girl, will be forever entwined for you are my daughter and for that reason, I have dibs on all the mother jobs for life.  I will not disappoint you - this I can promise.  I will be there for you each and every day, from now until forever.  Even when you hate me, even when you can't stand me, even when you don't think you need me.  I will simply wait in the background, and hang out in the shadows until you decide that you need me again.

This month, it became painfully (and I mean that literally) obvious that it is going to be extremely difficult to wean you to a bottle.  You have completely refused to take breast or formula from any kind of cup for the last month or so and have zero interest in anyone who tries.  To add injury to insult, you have started bitting me on a fairly regular basis, making me even more anxious to wean.  As Mexico approaches and our fight with the bottle continues, this month, my sweet, sweet girl, you are going to be in for some tough love.  Brace yourself for tears and for the ultimate in battles of wills.  Working in my favor is the pain of the bites and the beach in Mexico approaching so beware, I have A LOT of reasons to stay strong and fight you to the bitter end.  I know this month is going to be tough on you, and I would never do it this way if you didn't get me any other choice.  Please forgive me.  This who bottle saga is your only true flaw so I guess you aren't the perfect baby, however I love you just the same anyways.

A few days ago, the unthinkable happened and many young children were taken from this earth at the hands of another, all too early and extremely tragically.  At this point, I simply cannot read any more articles or listen to any more stories about it.  My heart can't take it.  I ache for those families and for the community whose worst nightmare has come true and cannot explain how deeply the incident awoken my deepest fears.  When people have kids, and you will know this one day if you ever do, your natural protective instincts kick in full force.  There is literally nothing I wouldn't do to protect you.  The scary thing that as a parent you have to come to terms with is that you simply can't protect your children like you want to.  Unfortunately there are always going to be risks and even keeping you at our side 24 hours a day for the rest of our lives gives no guarantee that harm won't find you.  Instead, all we can do is send you out into the world and pray that you will be safe.  I remember when I was a teenager and had my license, I was continually frustrated with the fact that my mother didn't want me driving home late at night.  I questioned her trust in me, to which she responded "I trust you, I just don't trust everyone else on the road at that hour."  It wasn't until you and your brother came into my life that I truly understood and agreed with her feelings.  It is a helpless feeling, when you feel like your babies are at the mercy of the world.  I suppose as parents, all we can do is pray and trust.

I remember when Colin was this age and I realized that my maternity leave was more than half over.  Part of me started to panic as I wanted the year to never end.  This time around, I have to admit, I am anxious to get back to work.  A small detail is that I don't actually have a job right now, as I left my last when you were born, but getting back into the work force and finding my next challenge and new direction is both exciting and energizing to me at this moment in time.  I know full well that my working will cause stress and anxiety for both of us, but I promise that in the end you will have a better mother because of it.  I may not always have time for everything to be homemade and every pinterest link to be explored, but I know that the positives of my working far outweigh the sacrifices.  I want you to know that even though I will probably always work outside the home, it is not ever because I wouldn't rather be with you and your brother.  It is simply something that I need, and our family needs.  I wish I did, but I do not feel fulfilled at home and know that working outside the home is something that I need.  Even though I may not always be there for your Dad's entire summer vacation, or to take you to school and pick you up each and every day, I promise that I will be better because of it.  I am going to really cherish and soak each and every minute with you guys for the next few months as I know that soon enough everything will change once again.

Baby girl, you are just awesome.  I love that you love life.  Even more, I love that you love sleep.  The world is awaiting for you as I know you are going to make it a better place for us all.  You have that way about you.  You command attention yet are patient and quiet.  You bring so much joy to this home and to this family and continue to make me feel so incredibly blessed to even know you, never mind be your mom.

Love you to forever and always x7.

Love,

Mama
xoxo

Santa through the years.

Today, for the third time in Colin's life, he went and visited Santa.  After last years painful showing, we talked A LOT about this day and what was going to happen, in hopes that we wouldn't have a repeat performance.  We went a visited Santa a few times in the mall and simply watched as the kids went up and got their pictures taken.  During one visit where there was nobody there, Santa waved us over so we walked (very slowly) up to him and chose to sit on a bench adjacent to his big seat.  Santa let Colin sit there for awhile and then after chatting for awhile (which mostly consisted of Santa talking and Colin smiling at him shyly), Santa came over and sat beside him.  Colin inched away but at the end of the visit gave Santa a high five and gladly accepted the candy cane.  This visit drastically altered our opinion of Santa and from that day on, Colin proudly proclaimed that he would sit on Santa's lap and that he was going to ask for "woodybuzz" (Woody and Buzz Lightyear from Toy Story) and today he did just that.  Addy was an oblivious as ever and although almost exposed Santa's fake beard by pulling on it, she tolerated it all perfectly.  I'm sure it will be her turn to freak out next year.

We have gotten our tree, we have hung our stockings, and now we have seen Santa.  We are ready for family, friends, food and all around memory making and fun.  Christmas is coming!

6 Months.

Dear Addy,

Today, you turn 6 months old and it is your official half birthday.  As always, I cannot believe that you have been part of our family for 6 whole months.  The time has flown by and my love for you has multiplied more times than mathematically possible (even though I'm sure your Dad would say that that is impossible, but you know what I mean).

Over the past month, you have officially grown 2 teeth, both on the bottom.  As I always expected, you took each one like a champ.  There were 3 separate 2 hour periods where I could tell they were really bothering you but for the most part they simply came in and you seemed unscathed.  You are now chewing on EVERYTHING and your arms are more like whips whose soul purpose is to get anything and everything into your mouth as quickly as possible.  You are grabbing at everything and have on more than one occasion taught me to be more careful with what I leave in your reach.  I forget more than a few times a day that you are not a helpless baby anymore and that you can and will grab what you can and it most definitely will end up in your mouth.

I know I say this every month, but you truly are just the bestest baby that ever lived.  You are so happy and smile and laugh constantly throughout the day.  A week ago we had a sad day where we attended Poppa's Aunts funeral who passed away earlier that week.  That day, my friend, was not your finest and you in a word, were miserable.  The funeral was in Gleboro and simply because of the timing, you were awake and happy all the way there, however when we arrived and it should have been nap time, you were simply not given the opportunity.  As the minutes passed, I could see your exhaustion growing and as the minutes turned to hours, the tears started to flow.  My girl, you were angry and you let everyone at that reception know it.  Your Nana commented that she doesn't think she had ever heard you cry before.  You are THAT good.  I will give you a mulligan for that day as I know you did your best and held it together as long as you possibly good.  We pushed you and you responded.

There has been a lot in the news lately about teenagers and bullying, most of which is done online now through social media outlets.  I can't help but think of you in 15 years or so and wonder if you will ever face similar issues.  I pray so hard that you will have a solid group of friends who will love you and protect you no matter what.  I was fortunate enough to have that in my teenage years and there are very few things that I want more for you.  I also promise you that I will protect you as long as humanly possible and do my best to instill the confidence needed to not be a target.  In the same breath, I also hope that I can trust you to be compassionate to others who may be struggling with bullies and be the one who stands up for what is right, instead of following the crowd.  I can promise you this, if I ever heard you contribute to any form of bullying, I would rip you a new one.  I have zero tolerance for that behaviour and I hope that you will listen and hear me when we talk about why we don't participate in any of that.  Today, as I look at your sweet, sweet face, I can't imagine you ever doing anything wrong, however I am all too aware that soon enough you will start to challenge and I will try to start to mold you into the wonderful teenager I am sure you will be (fingers crossed).

You are still big, but are nowhere near as big as your brother was at this age.  You still have not rolled over although at this point I am pretty sure you simply don't want too.  You roll completely on your side and then just hang out there for awhile before rolling back onto your back.  You seem happy enough just to live in those two positions while playing on the floor.  In time I know you will and I am in no rush for you to start so please, take your sweet time.

Six months ago, you did what nobody was prepared for and shook things up in this house and family with your arrival.  Although the first few weeks were a definite adjustment for me, I cannot thank you enough for the many that followed.  You have been a absolute joy and have become a part of me that will always be there.  You own more of my heart than I thought was available.  I can't believe that we are halfway to a year but look so forward to watching you through every day of the next six months where you will truly transform once again I'm sure and bring us even more joy than we have experienced since the day you were born.

Love you to forever and always x6.

Love,

Mama
xoxo

Check In

A number of weeks ago, I wrote a blog about the weight loss and fitness goals I had for myself moving forward.  That was six weeks ago and I thought it was time for a check in.

The past six weeks have been a lesson in patience, endurance, commitment and strength, but I am happy to report that I am feeling great and seeing results.  I have lost 7 pounds in the last six weeks but more importantly, feel like myself again.  It is amazing how even just starting and sticking with something for this short a time has made me come alive and has motivated me to keep going.

I cannot say enough about the "Back to run" program that I have followed thus far.  My neighbour and friend got it from a athletic therapist  and it is basically a slow and steady introduction back into running by combining walking and running at intervals.  As the runs and weeks progress, you slowly decrease the amount you're walking and increase the amount you're running.  It took me 4 weeks to go from walking for 4 minutes, running for 1 minute (for 30 minutes total), to now running for 30 minutes with no walking plus interval speed training.  There is absolutely no way I would have stuck with things and increased my endurance to what it is today had I not started slowly and gradually increased my runs.  I was able to complete every workout without pain in my joints, something I have never been able to do before as nagging past injuries usually surface very quickly.  I now feel like I can play around with my runs, completing quick speed interval training and also gradually increase my long runs.  I am going to continue with this plan until January when I will start following a specific half marathon training schedule as I plan to complete at least one race this spring.

The kids have really been great through this new routine of getting up and getting to the gym.  Colin has enjoyed multiple swims with his grandparents as well as loves the day care room.  Addy has been great as well and really does put her needs on hold for mine tolerating being awake for much longer than normal.  I also know that it will only get easier as she grows and is able to stay awake for longer periods of time.

Like I said before, starting working out again has really been a fantastic and much needed addition to my routine.  I really do feel like myself again.  My clothes fit better and I actually enjoy getting dressed in things other than yoga pants.  I feel like I have more energy for the kids and for life in general.

Ironically while at the Y one day, I saw this commercial for the Good Life Fitness Centre.  Although it is a man in the commercial and shocker, I am not a man, the message really resonated with me.  Clearly I am not going to the Olympics anytime soon and will most likely not compete in sports ever again except for the odd senior women's basketball game.  For so long, the desire to be the best and to compete was my motivation to workout and push myself physically.  Now that that is gone and in the past, I need to find new reasons to stay motivated and to keep on top of things.  This commercial, I think, does a great job of naming some perfect reasons.  For lack of a better term, it's about living the good life.

I'm so glad to be back.

The Bug.

I have got the bug again.  The crafting bug.

It surprises me just how much I love crafting and making decor for our home.  It really isn't something I anticipated being any good at since I do not think I am particularly creative.  That being said, I think when I felt this way I was forgetting about a little friend called the internet.  The web is full of ideas, tutorials, step by step guides and blogs that have offered me a ton of inspiration and the confidence that I too can have a house filled of one of a kind items.  Here are a few I have completed over the past month or so...

These are yarn letters that I made for the kids doors.  I cup the shape out of styrofoam we had that came in the packaging for Colin's train set.  I then simply wrapped the yarn around and around until I was happy with the coverage.  Some hot glue was necessary at the end and to affix the end of the yarn but other than there were very few materials that went into this project.  All in all, it took me about an hour to do both letters.  I really like the way they turned out.  I also discovered 3M velcro circles and used those to hang them on their doors.  That way they can be moved if we ever have any room swapping and it also satisfies Jason's desire to leave our walls and doors hole free.

A few months ago or so, my sister commented that she was heading over to our Aunt and Uncle's house to get acorns.  They live on South Dr in Fort Garry and their promise rang true with my sister leaving with a gigantic bowl.  When she made herself a wreath, I knew I wanted to as well.  I chose to make a smaller wreath so that it would hang fully in the window on our door.  I used a styrofoam wreath I had left over from another project and after wrapping it with felt so that the green colour of the wreath didn't show through, I started gluing.  And then I glued some more, and more, and more.  And then I thought I was done and hung it only to have it fall down a few hours later and have 50% of the acorns falls off.  So then I glued some more.  And bought a stronger 3M hook to hang it from.  And then I hung it again, and that is where it has been ever since.  In total, I used 2 full packages of hot glue for this project as every acorn needed to be glued not only to one other acorn, but to any acorn it touched as well.  It made for a lot of gluing.  The burlap I used is actually meant to be a garland, however I loved how wide and ribbon-like it became when I used it here.

This piece of art was created after my friend Larissa did the same.  She used this tutorial and modified it to suit her needs so I did the same.  I purchased the canvas at my neighbours garage sale for $1 and after it was primed, I drew the shapes I wanted with a pencil and then filled them in on top with puff paint.  After it was very dry, I peeled off a few leaves that I didn't care for and re-did things until I liked how it all looked and came together.  Then, I painted the entire thing over with paint we had downstairs (it's actually the same colour we painted the mudroom).  So far, this picture is living on top of the built in on one side of our fireplace but it may move depending on what happens with that area in the next few months as it is slated to have cupboard doors, wood counters, and stone and a mantel installed soon-ish.  I am super happy with the way it turned out and think it will have a place in our home for many years to come.

Lastly, I made this framed piece for Addy's room.  I have been wanting to buy a heart punch for a long time and was just waiting for the right Micheal's coupon to do so.  It finally came and I finally got one!  These hearts were affixed to the craft paper using ZOTS that I had left over from another project and then framed in a IKEA white frame.  The frame has no glass due to an accident a few years ago, but I kind of like exposing this anyways.  It definitely works in Addy's room and now I am brainstorming more ways of how I can use my new punch.

Now that Christmas is approaching, I am busy dreaming of all the new decorations and crafts I can make to decorate our home for the holidays.  A few years ago I tried my hand at making us all stockings, but they were a definite flop.  I am thinking they might be do for a redo, especially since we have another family member who needs one.

As much as I look forward to working again sometime next year, I do very much enjoy the fact that on maternity leave I have the time to complete projects such as these.  I love the way each of these things look in the house and add interest and colour to our walls and doors.  I have many more on my mind and am excited to tackle them all including a very exciting crafty endeavour where I plan to document our lives every step of the way.

5 Months.

Deer Addy,

Today, you turn 5 months old.  This past month, the leaves have fallen, temperatures have dropped and you got your first taste of snow and winter.  You are as happy as ever, and are definitely no longer a newborn.  You smile and talk and laugh and play.  You grab at everything and zero in on anything you might be able to get into your mouth.

The saga of your hair is a continual mess.  This month, it pretty much all fell out, except for one strip at the very bottom above your neck.  Your cradle cap was also in full force, however I think I have tamed it now.  We were definitely looking a little rough for a few days.  Your skin has also transformed into one big eczema mess, similar to what your brother went through.  Thankfully after a quick trip to the doctor we are armed with creams now and things seem to be clearing up.

We still haven't rolled over yet, although you are so very close.  There were quite a few babies born to friends of ours over the past few months and I continually see people posting on facebook about how their 3 month old rolled over.  I suppose you are just not ready.  Your brother was a slow roller too and didn't make the flip until at least 6 months so I am not at all surprised or disappointed that you haven't either.  You will in time.  Big babies take longer to move and my girl, you are big.  You go ahead and take your time.  I am smart enough to realize that a moving baby loses its novelty very quickly as all of a sudden anything 3 feet and below off the ground becomes fair game for little fingers to grasp and pull.  Thankfully this time, unlike when your brother was this age,  we have all our cupboard doors on and therefore that will decrease your temptation to get into them all like he did.

You had your first taste of food this month and so far have loved every second of it.  After figuring out that you couldn't eat AND have your hand in your month the entire time, you have really mastered it.  When you are full, you don't cry or yell, you simply clamp your mouth shut and turn your head to the side.  You very politely and very clearly let me know that you are done.  We will continue to try new things and see how it goes.  I am determined that you will be a good eater.  Your brother really struggles with trying new foods and I can't help but think that I must have encouraged that somehow.  Everything I read says that picky eaters are made and not born therefore this time around I am reading everything I can find and even going to a picky eaters workshop in a few weeks.

This month, I found myself reaching for the fast forward button a few times.  Compared to this same stage with your brother, you are by far easier.  That being said, you have lulled me into your ease and your happiness and the therefore when we have rough days, I find it extra difficult because I am simply not used to it.  That being said, you continually adjust to our schedule and adapt to sleeping when we are home or in the car.  At the Y, you do very well and the daycare workers have commented numerous times about how happy you are.  There are times though where it all becomes too much and you have your struggles.  99% of the time it is because I have pushed you too far and you are reminding me that you are in fact only 5 months old.  I try my best to remember this and not to rush you past this stage where sleep is a non negotiable and home days mean a lot to you.  As the temperature continues to drop and the snow falls, I am sure we will have many more days at home than we have had lately so you can look forward to that.

Birth order is something that I have done a decent amount of reading on as it very much interests me.  Your brother, is already very much an oldest child.  From what I hear, he is very much like your Dad was at that age and there is no more stereotypical oldest child than your Dad, trust me.  You, my sweet girl, seem to be more of a middle child so far.  The question of whether or not you will be a youngest or a middle is still undetermined, but so far, you scream middle to me.  You love to be paid attention to, but never demand attention.  You are so quiet and so easy that I sometimes forget you are even here :).  You go with the flow and wait your turn with patience and ease.

I love you sweet girl, be sure of that.  With each month and each day that pass, my love for you grows and my heart multiplies for YOU.  I marvel at how you have grown and all your have learned already and look so forward to each and every day.  You are so very, very sweet and you have an joy that is truly contagious.  You are my lovely girl.

Love you to forever and always,

Mama
xoxo

Mornings.

Lately, Colin has been getting up earlier than normal and Addy has been up even earlier than that.  For the past few weeks, I have cursed their cry and reluctantly dragged myself out of bed.  I felt sorry for myself and dreaded the mornings.

Yesterday, I learned that a childhood friend and neighbour of mine passed away extremely suddenly and with no warning.  She leaves behind her husband and two young daughters who now have the impossible task of dealing with the grief, despair and loneliness.

I am still very much in shock and cannot fully absorb the terribleness of this news.  I am however, just conscious enough to know that my morning attitude needs a serious adjustment.  So today, I am so extremely thankful for this morning and for seeing the sunrise again on the life I have been so deeply blessed with.  They may get up early, and Jason may leave for school even before that, but we are so lucky.  Each day I have with them is worth celebrating, no matter how early it starts or how late it goes.  I pray that I am lucky enough to be here for many more to come.

4 Months.

Dear Addy,

Yesterday, you turned 4 months old.  This past month you have really perked up and joined our family.  You love to talk and tell us stories and engage us every moment you are awake.  You love your play mat and have started to bat at the toys that hang from it.  Your most favorite place is the Bumbo as it allows you to sit up and watch the chaos that is this house unfold around you.  It is also the perfect place for you to do what you love the most...shove your entire fist in your mouth.  Yes, you read that right.  You literally shove your entire fist in your mouth as much as you possibly can.  In fact, a few weeks ago you actually threw up after gaging yourself with your fingers.  We'll see where we go with this one.

A few weeks ago I took a good hard look at myself and let me tell you, I did not like what I saw.  You did some damage to my body, yes, but I have been doing it no favours with the crap I have been feeding it since you were born.  It was then and there that I decided to make a change.  This change is going to come with some sacrifice from you, my sweet girl, so here is my apology in advance.  For me to take time for me, means you doing without a nap or two along the way.  I know you can handle it, but I also know that we may be in tough from time to time as an overtired baby is never a ball of laughs.  I promise you that if you can give me that time, I will be a better Mom to you in return.  I will be happier, I will be healthier and I will be around much longer to see you grow up and hopefully, grow old.

This will go down as the month where I finally, fully, gave into you.  I fell totally and completely in love with you this month and I will tell you exactly why - it's because I finally got to know you.  It's not that I didn't love you up until now, because I very much did, it's just that when you have a great sleeper, you really don't spend much time with your baby in those initial months.  This past month you started staying awake for longer stretches which has really given us extra time to spend together.  While awake, you have also started talking a lot and laughing and smiling constantly.  My mission in life right now is to make you happy and with every smile, my heart sings as it feels like you are giving me a big gold star.

Love you to forever and always,

Mama
xoxo

Start the clock.

In about twenty six weeks, I will have the honour of standing up for one of my closest friends at her wedding.  She is SUCH a good friend that she even decided, along with her fiance, to have the wedding take place in Hualtuco, Mexico.  Since the wedding is during school time, Jason obviously isn't able to come.  Since I am not insane, and would actually like to enjoy the week, I am also not taking either of the kids.  Yes, you read that right.  I will be enjoying an entire week without children and I am very, very excited.  I am so ready to stay up late, knowing that I can simply sleep in in the morning, to not worry about schedules and naps, and just to relax, read, and have fun with friends.  I also am so thankful to be able to be there to celebrate with my dear friend.  I am also so amazingly thankful for parents and in laws who have agreed to stand in for me on the child care front for the week.  I have my eyes on the prize and the prize is from March 3-10, 2013.

Yes, I am ready.  My body, however, is most definitely not.  After I had Colin, I found that the weight simply fell off fairly easily and without much effort.  About 6 weeks after I had him, I was only 5 pounds away from my starting weight.  Today, 16 weeks after having Addy, I am 15 pounds away.  To be honest, I didn't really even notice until a week or two ago where I took a good hard look at myself and realized that things just didn't look right.  Clothes still somewhat fit, but few comfortably and many not at all.  It is time to do something about this.  For one, Mexico is 6 months away and I want to feel great while there.  I want to wear a bathing suit without feeling uncomfortable and look back at pictures  without cringing.  I want to stand up next to my beautiful friend and feel like a girl of 21 again.  So, today, I started.

Before we had kids, I used to live in the gym.  I would work out 4-6 times a week with ease.  When Jason and I first met, I would run to the gym which was 3km away, work out for an hour, and then run back.  I loved it and found it easy to get motivated and get moving.  After I had Colin, I struggled, but somehow managed to semi get back at it.  In all fairness, I found it much easier after I stopped nursing him at 9 months old and was truly able to get away and not feel the constant ticking of the clock while gone.  Since Addy, I have found it even harder to make the time necessary for a workout.  It is nobody's fault but my own.  Yes, I am nursing her, but unlike Colin who ate every 2 hours, Addy refuses to eat any sooner than 4 therefore giving me more than enough time to get away.  I had good intentions all summer while Jason was home, but never really found my stride or my groove.  Now that fall is here, with it comes the change.

The change is, we are back at the Y.  There really couldn't be a better place for us as the membership gives us full access to the gym and pool.  My parents have offered to take my kids while I work out, or, if they are not available, there is a babysitting service available.  For once, I truly have no excuse and plan on taking full advantage of the membership and the help.

I am starting a "Back to Run" program (truthfully for the second time as the first didn't quite take), and adding some other exercises I learnt while doing Crossfit between pregnancies.  Today, I forgot how good it feels to be back in the gym and work.  I am trying very hard to take it slow as I know how weak and out of shape I am and to jump right back into intense exercise would end badly for both my motivation and my body.  I want to ease into things and get back to where I want to be with time, therefore ensuring that I don't end up on the injured list.

I am so ready to take control.  I am so ready to make good decisions and make time for myself and my goals.  I realize that this is going to mean sacrifice on both mine and Addy's part.  She is going to have to sacrifice some naps and I am hoping that it does not backfire too much on our seemingly perfect sleeper.  Colin will be in his absolute glory as he will play the time away with Grandma and Grandpa or the kids in the playroom - he will have no complaints.  Sorry, baby girl, it's all on you.

Yes, I am ready.  I figure that I owe my body as much as it gifted me with two easy pregnancies and two even easier labour and deliveries.  The least I can do is pay it back with strength, power, and endurance.  I have 6 months to lose 15 pounds to get back to my pre pregnancy weight.  Since I didn't LOVE my body then, I have rounded it up to 20 just for good measure.  That being said, I know that things aren't currently that bad and I am very grateful to have the body that I have now as I know that the struggles I have are nowhere near the struggles that others do after child birth.  What I also know though, is that I can be better.  I can be much, much better.   I can feel better than I feel right now and I can be healthier - that is what is most important.  I want my kids to look at me and see a strong, fit woman who makes the time to exercise and stay active so that they are motivated to do the same.  I know I can do this and specifically wrote this post so that I have to follow through.  The time is now and the goal is Mexico in March. Start the clock.

2.

Dear Colin,

Today, you turn 2 years old and it is exactly one year since I have written you.  First of all, thank you for the past year.  It has been so much fun to spend it with you and watch you every second of the way.  You and your super fun self have made being your Mom just the best thing that I could ever ask for.  When looking back at pictures from this time one year ago, it really magnifies how much you have grown and developed.  One year ago, you couldn't walk, now you run...everywhere.  One year ago, you couldn't say much of anything, and what you could say, I couldn't really understand.  Now you are constantly talking, 80% or so of which I understand - we are getting there.  Bottom line is that one year ago you were still very much a baby and today, you are most definitely a little boy.  You are absolutely the most stereotypical, loud, rowdy, crazy boy.  You love all things boy - cars, trucks, tractors, bridges, trains, buses, and destroying.

For you, learning to walk was a slower process where you didn't really hit your true stride until 14 or 15 months.  I have read that the bigger the baby, the longer it takes for them to really get moving so the theory fits with you.  Ever since you started walking, and now running, you have really slimmed out and simply lengthened up instead of out, something you did very quickly in your first year.  I remember sometime around Christmas looking at you and realizing that I could actually see your neck, something I had never seen since you were a few weeks old.  You are still thick, but I would imagine you might always be.  Your Dad and I are not small people therefore I can't imagine why you would be either.  Today, on your birthday we measured you and marked your height on the measuring stick that I made last year.  It is great to be able to see how much you have grown...I know making a new mark will be something I look forward to each year.

You are smart.  You love to learn and love to practice something over and over again until you can do it by yourself and to perfection.  I see your Dad in you as you often get frustrated when you initially have trouble with something.  You are both perfectionists and I think the learner in him has brushed off in you.  I fully expect and accept that you will one day be smarter than me.  You are just that way and I can tell already that you will be a lifelong learner.  You are so much like your Dad in that way.  It is never enough for your Dad just to shrug off how things work and let them do their job.  Your Dad always wants to research and understand each and every thing in our home and in the world.  You seem to be the same way.  Hopefully you'll go easy on me when I you realize that I just don't share that trait.  A student, I am not.  I love that you are already on this path as I know how much fun you and your Dad will have learning together.  You and he can read every sign on hikes, spend hours reading online about everything under the sun and go through the years discussing the latest and greatest.

Something I realized the other day is just how easy a toddler you have been even though you were a difficult baby and an extremely challenged sleeper for quite a few of your initial months of life.  Although sleeping was such a challenge for you for those first months, ever since then you are the ideal sleeper.  Zero complaints.  For the past year, you have handled every transition with ease.  A few months ago we decided to move you to a toddler bed thinking that we wanted to get that over and done with while your sister was still up at that time anyways.  I didn't want to wait until she was going to bed at 7:30 and then deal with you getting out of bed again and again for hours.  I should have given you more credit.  From night one, you stayed in your bed.  You fell out once, but that wasn't anything a pool noodle under the sheet couldn't fix.  It was then that I realized that you truly have transitioned through each and every stage with almost no problems.  As tough a newborn that you were, you have made up for it tenfold.

This year, we changed everything and added another baby to our family.  You, my friend, love on your sister like I always hoped you would.  You are gentle and caring and compassionate to her and what she needs.  One time a month or so ago you accidentally hit her with a toy you were playing with and she started crying.  Instantly, you started bawling, tears flowed and your lips quivered.  You were so sorry.  You are on your way to being a great big brother.  I am sure the two of you will have your moments, but I could not have asked for a better introduction to the dynamic of having 2 kids.

Over the past year, you have become a wonderfully awesome, super fun little boy.  There have been times however when you and I have come to "blows".  Your wonderfulness sometimes spills over into craziness and your craziness sometimes morphs into super loudness and annoyingness.  You are 2 and for the past year I have had to remind myself of your age from time to time.  You will sometimes cry because your bath made you wet, or because your milk out of the fridge was cold, or because I picked up the wrong book off the shelf.  I have to remember that outbursts and ridiculousness comes with the territory of being 2 and try not to hold it against you too much.  Luckily for me, you make up for it with your cuteness and your general disposition that can turn even the saddest and grumpiest of my moods around as quickly as they began.  I remember when my sisters kids were your age and they would do something rotten to their Mom and she would of course, discipline them.  Not 2 seconds later, after all the tears were wiped and sorry's were said, she would act as if nothing happened, and simply go on with the day calling them "sweetheart" and "honey".  Before I had you, and before this past year I always wondered how she did that.  To me, I thought, if my kid had just done that with me, I would be still be angry, at least for an hour or two.  You have shown me why my sister was able to brush things off so easily.  When it's your own kid, it just comes with the love and joy you have for them.  No matter how rotten you have been from time to time over this past year, once you are past it and back to sweetness, so am I.  I simply can't help but forgive and forget.  I could never hold a grudge on you.

Every stage we have gotten through with you has been my most favorite and the stage we are in now is no different.  I love your independence, your politeness, your humour, your words.  You are so happy to be you and I am so happy to have a front row seat.  You make me laugh more than I ever thought a 2 year old could and make me happy to be exactly where we are.  Seeing the world through your eyes brings me more energy than I ever thought I could have while mothering 2 kids under 2.  You think the simplest things are so incredibly interesting.  You start each day with joy and energy and excitement.  You find fun in anything and simply love living.  You are my bestest boy and my sweetest little man.

This morning, I conducted the first of an annual interview that we will repeat yearly on your birthday.  Even though this video is a bit of a mess, I love how it represents who you are today.  You are exactly you in this...energetic, funny, and never stop moving.  My personal favorite moment is when you pretend to be sleeping around the 2:30 mark.  Obviously I am not a very engaging interviewer.  Can't wait to see what you will be like one year from now and how your answers will differ.  Hopefully you might actually sit still as well...


 

I will cherish this video and how it so perfectly represents you and all I love and adore.

Happy Birthday, bub.  To the moon and back, you are forever loved.

Mommy
xoxo

This is to you.

Choo! Choo! Colin is 2!

There is nothing like a child's birthday to remind us how lucky we are to have such amazing friends and family.  Yesterday, we all gathered to celebrate Colin and the fact that he will be turning 2 this week.  It is hard to believe that it was 2 years ago that we first met him and welcomed him into our family.  He is such a wonderful boy and therefore, only a very special Thomas birthday party would do.

Train tracks welcomed guests...

A birthday banner hung on our soon (fingers crossed) to be stoned fireplace...

Goodies bags for the kids...

A Chip train...

A "Thomas" cake.  This was my first attempt at a 3-D cake and my second time doing the icing this way so I am pretty proud of the way it turned out, aside from the fact that it looks nothing like Thomas!

And a very excited little boy...

The party started and we enjoyed lots of food, cake and visiting.  Colin pretty much got given anything and everything Thomas and couldn't have been more excited or thrilled with each and every gift.  Maybe Addy felt left out?

Considering he wouldn't touch his cake on his first birthday, we've come a long way in a year!

Happy Birthday, Colin!

Babyproofing.

I have many great friends and am so thankful for each and every one of them.  One of those great friends is Susie Pierce (nee Laping).  Susie and I met years ago, but then reconnected when I took her job at the WMBA as she was moving to Florida to marry a wonderful man.  Susie and I both had baby boys around the same time and have enjoyed weekly talks ever since they were born.  During our talks, we cover everything and anything and rarely is anything off limits.  Obviously, we talk a lot about our kids and motherhood as many of the frustrations and challenges we face are the same.

A few weeks ago while Susie was visiting Winnipeg, she gave me the book "Babyproofing Your Marriage".

Susie came across the book at a local second hand store near her home down south and after reading it herself, thought it would be something I would enjoy and benefit from as well.

The book does a great job of cutting to the chase.  Becoming a mother is hard.  It is hard on yourself and it is hard on your marriage.  It is extremely easy to fall into deep and dark holes filled with tears - both yours and the babies.  The book goes through a few of the biggest problems marriages often face after the addition of a baby and gives practical examples of how to avoid and work through each and every one of them.  For me, it also confirmed the fact that the feelings of inadequacy, frustration and exhaustion are more common that many others like to admit.  In fact, I would bet that the vast majority of mothers, especially new ones experience these feelings and this book solidifies that it is OKAY.  It does not make you a bad mother, it does not mean you don't love your kids, and it does not mean that you will feel this way forever.

I would like to preface the following post with the fact that I LOVE MY KIDS.  I love being a MOM.  It is an incredible blessing, something I am not worthy of, and I wouldn't change anything for anything.  That being said... sometimes, it's hard.

As I have never tried to hide, having a child, and now children, has been a major adjustment for me.  I am very much a controller and a planner and having kids kind of puts a damper on all of those things.  Over the past 2 years,  I have struggled a number of times with the reality that is now my life and this book helped me to identify and accept the changes and embrace the differences.

A few weeks ago, Jason and I went on a date, something we do not do enough.  We had dinner in our old neighbourhood where we lived PC (pre children) and enjoyed a nice drive down our old street after dinner.  We reminisced about how nice it was to live there and how fun it was to be so close to so many shops, restaurants and walking paths, something I miss because it is so different compared to where we live now.   We talked about how nice it was to take our dog for late night walks down Wellington Crescent and how it just isn't the same in the country.  After a few minutes of the memories, we both realized that it wasn't our house on Campbell that we missed so much, it is the lives we lived before we had kids.  The fact of the matter is that even if we did still live there, we would not be taking walks together at 9:00 p.m.  Kids, and 7:30 bedtimes put a damper on that kind of activity.  "Babyproofing Your Marriage" reminded me that I need to quit trying to get my old life back.  It is gone.  It is time to accept and surrender to the chaos.  The book is right.  When the house is a mess, both kids are crying, you're eating grilled cheese for supper (again), and I haven't been anywhere but Superstore for a week, I plan on trying to take a minute, laugh, and realize that before I know it these days will be gone and I will desperately want them back.

Another section of the book that really resonated with me is something the authors call the mommy chip  - I am sure many other Mom's suffer from it as well.  From the second Colin was born, the chip was activated and had never for a second, turned off.  As a Mom, my mind is constantly spinning. What time is it?  When will we need to eat again?  Do I have enough diapers?  Whose diaper needs changing?  Will their winter coats fit come winter?  How much milk is left in the fridge?  Are we hitting developmental milestones?  What nursery school will we attend?  It never ends and it never stops.  Something I have struggled with is accepting that I now have this chip and will most likely have it for the rest of my life, the questions will simply change as the kids get older.  Accepting that I have this chip is challenging, but I think I am getting there.  Tougher, is accepting and not punishing Jason for NOT having one.  It is just the way it is.  Men and Dad's can turn it off, or resist its implantation from the very beginning.  We cannot.  It is not their fault and it is not anything they are doing on purpose to simply to stick it to us.  Their minds simply work differently.  Although it drives me crazy, Jasons mind will never work like mine and the more I think about it, the more I realize that that is a very good thing for our marriage.  Although I can't turn it off, Jason reminds me to pause it from time to time.  He helps me go with the flow more and enjoy my time away without feeling the need to check in.  He helps me stay grounded and not get carried away with questions, worries and planning.

The best thing I brought away from the book is the fact that if you want your husband to help you, and I do, than you have to let him do it his way.  I am not good at this.  I was even worse when it was just Colin.  I have realized that I can't expect him to want to help me if everything he does also comes with criticism.  He may have a different way to swaddle, a different bed time for Colin, and different clothes to put them in when getting them dressed but that HAS to be okay with me.  He isn't me and he doesn't do things exactly like I do, but that doesn't mean his way is wrong.

A large section of the book talks about scorekeeping within a marriage and how easy it can be to start keeping score after a baby comes into the picture.  Everything we do both at home and at work is included in the "score" and resentment starts to grow.  The book talks a lot about how women feel abandoned at home all day with the kids, wanting their husbands help with more household tasks and help with the kids, and men feel their financial contribution by working all day is enough.  I doubt the book intended to help me in this particular way, but reading this section reminded me just how good I have it.  The fact of the matter is that Jason is a huge help to me.  He willingly takes Colin whenever he can, helps around the house, and is constantly working on projects in order to finish our home.  Don't get me wrong, their have been times where we, like any marriage, have been frustrated with each other and the amount of support we were getting, but for the most part, we are pretty good.

The last part of the book that really resonated with me was the section discussing the pressure Mom's put on themselves.  We all want to be the perfect Mom - I am no exception.  That being said, I also want a career.  The book explains that the women of our generation have been told since birth that we can do anything we want.  We can climb the corporate ladder just like men can and that no job is out of reach.  Having a career and being a Mom is not impossible - women having been doing it for years.  However, doing both perfectly, is.  The fact of the matter is that something, somewhere has to give.  I do plan on going back to work next year and although would prefer part time, know that sometime in the near future, I will probably work full time.  If I am going to do that, I am going to have to realize that I am probably not going to be able to stay on top of everything at home.  The house will not always be clean.  My kids clothes will not always be folded and put away.  I will not always be able to bring home made snacks to soccer.  It is simply impossible to do both to perfection.  It will not be easy for me  but reading this book has reminded me that it is ok and at the end of the day, Colin and Addy will be just fine with wrinkly clothes, granola bars, and messy rooms.  Women have such a bad habit of judging and making each other feel somehow less worthy for the decisons they have made.  Working Mom's judge stay at home mom's for not "working".  Stay at home Mom's judge working mom's for putting their kids in daycare.  We judge, judge, judge and I can include myself in that "we".  This book reminded me that at the end of the day, we are all working towards the same goal - doing what is best for our kids.  For me, I know that working out of the home is better for my kids.  I am a happier, more fulfilled person when I am working and in turn, a better Mom.  The book reminded me that each mother needs to make their own decision for what is best for them and at the end of the day, women need to support each other for each one, and feel blessed that we even have a choice to make.

I would really recommend this book to any couple who is planning on welcoming children into their marriage, or who have already taken the plunge.  It is a great reminder of how a baby can affect marriage, and how it important it is for both the husband and wife to ensure they are supporting, helping and communicating with each other through it all.  It is also a bit of a pep talk for any Mom who is feeling a little less than perfect and who struggles sometimes to make it through the day.

Bottom line is that the book reminded me that my marriage is doing pretty well through it all, however that I never want to stop working on us.  Jason and I have tried very hard to communicate and vent when we need so that pent up emotions and frustrations don't snowball and blow up in each others faces.  That being said, at the end of the day, Jason still makes me smile, makes me swoon, and makes me fall in love all over again.  Looking at Jason also reminds me of what commitment truly is.  I have realized after reading this book that no one would ever love our children as much he does.  No one else in the world could ever share that with me, ever.  That is something worth working on each and every day and doing whatever we can to ensure that we stick together and team play our way through these years.  At the end of them all, we will hopefully have wonderful children and an even better marriage than we started with.  It is then that we will travel the world, love on our grandchildren (fingers crossed), enjoy each others company, and most importantly... sleep A LOT more.

3 Months.

Dear Addy,

Well little girl, we made it.  3 months is always the goal when you have a newborn as you are now, officially, not a newborn anymore, you are a full fledged baby.  Even though I am glad to be through the initial months, I really can't complain too much about what has taken place around here lately.  You are what is known as an angel baby.  You truly are the most content, happiest, most social little girl.  You are sleeping like a champ and giving me 10-11 hours of uninterrupted down time each and every night.  You are super happy in the late evenings sometimes but are getting better at going down each and every night.  I cannot remember the last time I got up with you between the hours of 10 p.m. and 7 a.m.  You are a sleeper.  Praise the Lord.  This past month, you became even more alert and LOVE to be held outward so you can see the world. You still aren't awake for a whole heck of a lot during the day (or at night for that matter), but for the few moments between eating and going back to bed, you are so much fun to watch.  One of my biggest complaints with your brother at this age was that I felt like he was never happy.  No matter what I tried, I couldn't please him.  You, my sweet girl, are the opposite.  You love your swing (especially now that I have figured out that it can sit even more upright), love your gym, but more than anything, love to just sit in the crack of a couch and take it all in.  You are so strong already and can sit like that for as long as I let you.

You are getting so big.  At the doctor a few weeks ago you came in at 14lbs and 24 inches putting you in the 94th percentile for both.  I think it is clear...your Dad and I do not make small kids.  Thankfully, even though you are a lady tank, you still have a softness to you.  Your features are dainty and your eyes sparkle.  Your hair is crazy and I have no idea what to do with it.  I think at this point, it just has to grow and we'll see where we are in a few months.  I promise that I will introduce you to a hair straightener when it becomes socially acceptable so you can avoid the years of half straight/half curly coifs that I sported for the better part of the 90's.  Your eyes are still so very blue which makes me wonder if they will stay that way.  People say you look like me and I can't help but agree.  I love that.

I have a very long list of wants for you.  More than anything else though, I want you to be a strong woman.  As your Grandpa always said to me "we need more assertive young women in this society."  I want you to strive to be whatever it is you desire.  I want you to be strong in your beliefs, your values and your integrity.  I hope that I can help you establish these things early on so that when the teenage and early adulthood years arrive, you are well versed in them all.  I want you be confident in yourself and be able to solve your own problems.  I want you to face issues head on and not avoid confrontation.  I want you to be able to express your feelings and say what you really mean, no matter what others may think.  I want you to be strong.  I will do what I can to help, and I promise you that I will do anything I can to encourage and support you through tougher times.  When I was growing up and had a problem with someone (usually a friend, teacher or coach), my parents really encouraged me to confront whomever I had the issue with and come to a resolution.  They did not fight my battles for me and in turn really taught me how to deal with people, even difficult ones.  I owe my people skills wholly to them and I will try my best to give you that same gift.  So far, your head strength is your only strength, but you have to start somewhere, right?  At least we're moving in the right direction.

Last weekend, we had your cousins, Cole and Lily here for the weekend as their parents went to an out of town wedding.  For 3 days, I got to experience what it is like to have a 3 year old girl around these parts.  It became very clear, very quickly, the differences between boys and girls as Cole and Colin pretty much did their own thing and Lily, was stuck to me like glue.  There were very few moments over the course of the weekend where I was alone as Lily always wanted to know what was going on, "help", or simply chat about anything and everything.  It reminded me just how much more social girls are and that I should be ready for that to be you in a just a few short years.  While I love Colin's independence, I'm sure I will also love the closeness that you and I will hopefully share.

It is still hard to believe that I have TWO children.  Let's be honest here, it is still hard to believe that I have ONE child.  I have been doing a lot of reading these days about parenthood, and marriage after kids and one line that really resonated with that is if life is like swimming, having kids is simply treading water.  You don't get anywhere for at least the first five years, you are simply trying to stay afloat.  I'm sorry to tell you, especially if you have your own kids one day, but I can't help but agree with this metaphor.  Ever since your brother was born, and magnified even more with you, life has not been...ummm...restful.  Your Dad and I have just been treading water, getting through each and every day and staying on our toes as schedules, temperaments and stages continue to change daily.  As easy as you are, you, like any newborn, come with your challenges and frustrating days.  We are in fact treading, however you, my sweet girl, at least make the water warm.  Your smiles, your laughs, your stories make even the more tiring days feel wonderful.  You are my sweetest girl.

Love you to forever and always x3,

Mama
xoxo

Summer Projects: Updated.

The summer is approaching its half way mark and thankfully we are well on our way to completing all the outdoor projects we had earmarked to take place over the 2 months Jason is away from school.  

The planter boxes and a few shrubs have been planted as well as the fascia on the deck installed and stained.  It will take a few years for the hydrangea, weigelas and lilac tree to fill out but I am going to try my best to be patient and just add to the boxes little by little.





The peak has been completed...





Our house finally has its sign and numbers...



Next on the list - downspouts...

Our summer list is starting to look a little less daunting.  Like I have said before, there is no better feeling than crossing off jobs that seem to have been on our list forever.  Although this is only our 2nd summer in this house, it feels great to know that as time goes on and the sharpie gets a workout almost daily, we are one step closer to having the completed home we have dreamt about from the start.

2 Months.

Dear Addy,

Just as I predicted in my one month letter to you, this past month has flown by.  It is amazing what a difference one month can make when you're dealing with a newborn.  A little over 4 weeks ago I was still struggling with getting you figured out and integrating you into the routine I had engrained into Colin.  Today, things are working so well it almost scares me as I don't quite believe it.  You are so easy that I am just waiting for the day where everything will change and you will become more like your brother was at your age. Here's hoping that day never comes!

You have mostly slept and ate the past month away, but you did open you eyes from time to time to say hello and gift us with your first smiles.  You have grown so much and are officially out of your first sets of clothes.  We also experienced our first blip this month when you and I both had thrush.  Although it was not very much fun for either of us, you took it like a champ and besides some mild discomfort during the day, you still slept like a log and battled through your meds.  I think you are going to be tough.  I love that.  When I was pregnant with you and still doing Cross Fit 3 times a week, I used to think about you while there and hope that by battling through even the toughest work outs, I was setting an example for you of what it means to be tough.  So far, you seem to have been paying attention.

We travelled for the first time with you this month as well, first with a long weekend at Bird Lake, and next with a whole week at Westhawk Lake.  You were so happy and slept so well during both trips that at times, I almost forgot you were there.  Besides a bit of a rash, you soaked in the heat and enjoyed having different people to hug and love on you.  You did not so much enjoy the water, but I can't say that I am surprised as the lake water is substantially cooler than your warm bath and cozy bed.

This past week, for really the first time since you were born, your brother started to pay attention to you.  All of a sudden he is extremely concerned with where you are and what you are doing.  He says "Hi, Addy" over and over again and wants to help by getting me diapers and finding your soother when you are crying.  Watching him care for you so gently makes me wonder what is in store for your relationship with him as you get older.  I am sure I will spend many years as a referee between you two, but I sincerely hope that you two are close one day.  He loves you so much already and although I am sure there will come a day where he would swear he doesn't, I know that you will always hold a special place in his heart.  Thank you for putting up with him as his touch is sometimes not as gentle as I request and his voice is often louder than I would like.  You don't seem to mind.

This month, the dust settled and life returned to our new normal.  I owe this to you.  If it wasn't for you, and exactly the way you are, I am not sure I would be able to say that just yet.  I still cannot believe what a good baby you are.  A few weeks ago, you officially slept through the night for the first time.  Although you don't make it that far every night, you are gifting me with 10 straight hours of sleep about 4 times a week and I feel like a new person as a result.  The other 3 nights are pieces of cake with just a short visit around 5 a.m.  The fact that you are doing this on a consistent basis at only 2 months old is something I never expected but is a gift I have no problem accepting.

Oh sweet one, you are my most favorite little girl.  You make me laugh, you make me dream, and above all, you make me love all over again.  Falling in love with you each and every day is the most perfect way to spend the summer.  I look so forward to the next 6 weeks we have your Dad for as having him around means everything is just better.  Not only do we get to spend more time together as a family, but we also get to spend more time just you and I, as he and Colin can go off on their own.   It's you and me, and the boys, my friend.  


I love you, I adore you, I cherish you.  I have for the last 2 months plus the 10 before I knew you.  In a way, I have loved you since the moment I met your father and he and I started dreaming about the kids we hoped we would meet one day.  You are everything I hoped you would be and more.  I hope that I am always what you need, even when you don't see it that way at the time.  I promise I will always try to steer you in the right direction and be there for you when you need me.  You, your brother and your father are my everything and I am so lucky to share with you your every moment.   You are my joy.  You are my light.  You are my Addy. 


Love you to always and forever x2,


Mama
xoxo