4 Months.

Dear Addy,

Yesterday, you turned 4 months old.  This past month you have really perked up and joined our family.  You love to talk and tell us stories and engage us every moment you are awake.  You love your play mat and have started to bat at the toys that hang from it.  Your most favorite place is the Bumbo as it allows you to sit up and watch the chaos that is this house unfold around you.  It is also the perfect place for you to do what you love the most...shove your entire fist in your mouth.  Yes, you read that right.  You literally shove your entire fist in your mouth as much as you possibly can.  In fact, a few weeks ago you actually threw up after gaging yourself with your fingers.  We'll see where we go with this one.

A few weeks ago I took a good hard look at myself and let me tell you, I did not like what I saw.  You did some damage to my body, yes, but I have been doing it no favours with the crap I have been feeding it since you were born.  It was then and there that I decided to make a change.  This change is going to come with some sacrifice from you, my sweet girl, so here is my apology in advance.  For me to take time for me, means you doing without a nap or two along the way.  I know you can handle it, but I also know that we may be in tough from time to time as an overtired baby is never a ball of laughs.  I promise you that if you can give me that time, I will be a better Mom to you in return.  I will be happier, I will be healthier and I will be around much longer to see you grow up and hopefully, grow old.

This will go down as the month where I finally, fully, gave into you.  I fell totally and completely in love with you this month and I will tell you exactly why - it's because I finally got to know you.  It's not that I didn't love you up until now, because I very much did, it's just that when you have a great sleeper, you really don't spend much time with your baby in those initial months.  This past month you started staying awake for longer stretches which has really given us extra time to spend together.  While awake, you have also started talking a lot and laughing and smiling constantly.  My mission in life right now is to make you happy and with every smile, my heart sings as it feels like you are giving me a big gold star.

Love you to forever and always,

Mama
xoxo