Start the clock.

In about twenty six weeks, I will have the honour of standing up for one of my closest friends at her wedding.  She is SUCH a good friend that she even decided, along with her fiance, to have the wedding take place in Hualtuco, Mexico.  Since the wedding is during school time, Jason obviously isn't able to come.  Since I am not insane, and would actually like to enjoy the week, I am also not taking either of the kids.  Yes, you read that right.  I will be enjoying an entire week without children and I am very, very excited.  I am so ready to stay up late, knowing that I can simply sleep in in the morning, to not worry about schedules and naps, and just to relax, read, and have fun with friends.  I also am so thankful to be able to be there to celebrate with my dear friend.  I am also so amazingly thankful for parents and in laws who have agreed to stand in for me on the child care front for the week.  I have my eyes on the prize and the prize is from March 3-10, 2013.

Yes, I am ready.  My body, however, is most definitely not.  After I had Colin, I found that the weight simply fell off fairly easily and without much effort.  About 6 weeks after I had him, I was only 5 pounds away from my starting weight.  Today, 16 weeks after having Addy, I am 15 pounds away.  To be honest, I didn't really even notice until a week or two ago where I took a good hard look at myself and realized that things just didn't look right.  Clothes still somewhat fit, but few comfortably and many not at all.  It is time to do something about this.  For one, Mexico is 6 months away and I want to feel great while there.  I want to wear a bathing suit without feeling uncomfortable and look back at pictures  without cringing.  I want to stand up next to my beautiful friend and feel like a girl of 21 again.  So, today, I started.

Before we had kids, I used to live in the gym.  I would work out 4-6 times a week with ease.  When Jason and I first met, I would run to the gym which was 3km away, work out for an hour, and then run back.  I loved it and found it easy to get motivated and get moving.  After I had Colin, I struggled, but somehow managed to semi get back at it.  In all fairness, I found it much easier after I stopped nursing him at 9 months old and was truly able to get away and not feel the constant ticking of the clock while gone.  Since Addy, I have found it even harder to make the time necessary for a workout.  It is nobody's fault but my own.  Yes, I am nursing her, but unlike Colin who ate every 2 hours, Addy refuses to eat any sooner than 4 therefore giving me more than enough time to get away.  I had good intentions all summer while Jason was home, but never really found my stride or my groove.  Now that fall is here, with it comes the change.

The change is, we are back at the Y.  There really couldn't be a better place for us as the membership gives us full access to the gym and pool.  My parents have offered to take my kids while I work out, or, if they are not available, there is a babysitting service available.  For once, I truly have no excuse and plan on taking full advantage of the membership and the help.

I am starting a "Back to Run" program (truthfully for the second time as the first didn't quite take), and adding some other exercises I learnt while doing Crossfit between pregnancies.  Today, I forgot how good it feels to be back in the gym and work.  I am trying very hard to take it slow as I know how weak and out of shape I am and to jump right back into intense exercise would end badly for both my motivation and my body.  I want to ease into things and get back to where I want to be with time, therefore ensuring that I don't end up on the injured list.

I am so ready to take control.  I am so ready to make good decisions and make time for myself and my goals.  I realize that this is going to mean sacrifice on both mine and Addy's part.  She is going to have to sacrifice some naps and I am hoping that it does not backfire too much on our seemingly perfect sleeper.  Colin will be in his absolute glory as he will play the time away with Grandma and Grandpa or the kids in the playroom - he will have no complaints.  Sorry, baby girl, it's all on you.

Yes, I am ready.  I figure that I owe my body as much as it gifted me with two easy pregnancies and two even easier labour and deliveries.  The least I can do is pay it back with strength, power, and endurance.  I have 6 months to lose 15 pounds to get back to my pre pregnancy weight.  Since I didn't LOVE my body then, I have rounded it up to 20 just for good measure.  That being said, I know that things aren't currently that bad and I am very grateful to have the body that I have now as I know that the struggles I have are nowhere near the struggles that others do after child birth.  What I also know though, is that I can be better.  I can be much, much better.   I can feel better than I feel right now and I can be healthier - that is what is most important.  I want my kids to look at me and see a strong, fit woman who makes the time to exercise and stay active so that they are motivated to do the same.  I know I can do this and specifically wrote this post so that I have to follow through.  The time is now and the goal is Mexico in March. Start the clock.