Lately.

I haven't been very diligent with updating the blog lately and I really can't pinpoint a reason why.  Until recently when we started our basement construction there hasn't been a lot of changes around the house and although Colin is adding new words to his vocabulary every day, I haven't felt like there were significant milestones to report on either.  Bottom line is this, I think that I am just tired and writing a blog or two a week was one of the things that just had to be sacrificed in order to relax, get some added rest, or simply do nothing for an hour or so a day.

We are just under 4 weeks from my due date and I am officially ready not to be pregnant anymore.  I am sick of my maternity clothes (or lack there of), sick of the back pain that is increasing daily, sick of the 9,000 daily trips to the bathroom and especially sick of the most recent addition - heartburn.  I realize that others deal with heartburn regularly, however I can honestly say that I have never had it before in my life.  I actually had to google my symptoms to figure out what was going on.  That is spoiled and I realize that, but it does not make it any more enjoyable.

I am in an interesting mental dilemma at the moment.  Like I said before, I am most definitely 100% ready not to be pregnant anymore.  I did, around this time, get to this stage when I was pregnant with Colin as well.  That being said, I now know what I am getting into post-pregnancy and for that reason, my brain and my body are at odds.  My body is screaming to get this kid out and is sending daily eviction notices.  My head is all too aware of what is to come and for that reason has been returning those notices as quickly as they come with payment for another weeks rent.

I am so excited to meet our new family member and to see what in fact has been growing inside of me for the past 9 months.  I can't wait to see Colin meet him or her for the first time and see the look of pure and utter confusion on his face when the baby comes home with us and stays for good.  I am excited for all the firsts and changes that a babies first year brings and so glad that I at least have a bit of a leg up on the me from 20 months ago when I first held Colin and was simply trying to figure things out day by day.

I am also smart enough (or at least have a good enough memory) to know that things are going to be rough for a bit.  Simple math tells me so.  Sleep is going to be limited, everyone is going to have to make adjustments and peoples lives (ie. Colin's) lives are going to be turned upside down.  I also know that this baby is not Colin circa 2012 and he or she will have its own issues, likes and dislikes and general disposition that will take time to figure out just like it did with Colin.  Nothing is going to be automatic just because we have had a baby already.  The slate is clean and this one is its own new game.

And there in lies the dilemma.  Brain versus body.

Ultimately it is amazing to know that at the end of the day, love will trump all.  The love we will feel when we meet our baby will shut my head and my body up as only love can.  For the next month or so my brain and my body can continue to duke it out as my heart prepares to take over for good.